Posts tagged poems

Scared of Hope (4/10/2008)

It’s really been a bit since I’ve put logic in this nonsense
With mind control to prop this, no emotions there to block this
Just talking while I’m conscious and completely in control of it
Not letting my frustration completely get a hold of it
But really, there’s the whole of it that tends to mix in feelings
The part that leaves me kneeling with my hands up to ceiling
Peeling through the layers of the darkness she’s been stealing
Honestly, I’m so afraid of the light that seems appealing
Cause this feeling is so powerful, it leaves me feeling open
It’s a lot to hold that trust after always feeling broken
And letting all this hope in can seem a little scary
When others have abused it after claiming that they’re caring
And doubt can be so tearing as it ripples through the mindset
There’s no reason to be scared, the pain hasn’t turned to mine yet
But if you asked for my guess, there’d be nothing I could say
Cause I can only pray that she’ll be there for every day
Cause I really love the way I’m so strong in all this weakness
I tend to doubt myself as I gather all the pieces
The agony is ceaseless until she’s right beside me
Then, suddenly, I’m stronger and I could beg the world try me
And, yes, that’s fucking frightening to recognize reliance
I hate to just admit it, but I need her for this vibrance
Should I struggle in this silence or make a soul’s confession
That I need her for this happiness, the road, and my direction

Notes: It’s about being scared of this wonderful thing that I have. What may seem as a lack of trust or lack of faith, is really just a fear of the unknown.

Unwanted Guest (4/1/2008)

Why is it you won’t let me just enjoy this heart’s compassion?
Instead you retaliate by resurrecting what has happened
Cause every single action that you make me over analyze
Is a creation of frustration and I hate the way you fantasize
Looking through these damning eyes, expecting hurt and bleeding
Filling me with anguish when it’s peace that I am needing
I will never be conceding this and let you break these pieces
But, sometimes I feel so fucking weak beneath what is so ceaseless
Cause you paint the world as cheaters and hypocrites and leavers
These liars are the ones who feed on those they see as bleeders
And I’m the lone receiver of this torment that’s deserving
The agony you instigate can be so god damn unnerving

Stop it with your whining and just face the truth presented
When you look into the mirror, it’s you that is resented
I’m just purging out the agony by bleeding every vessel
To rid of you the happiness with which you wish to nestle
Cause I simply wish to settle in these dark and lonely places
Where everyone is dead to us, we’ll never see their faces
Where pain is simply traceless cause no one is there to give it
And these thoughts of contemplation are the only things to visit
And nobody hears your wishes and no one will give a fuck
When you’re lying in the corner with the darkness of a cut
Bask in the self disgust of the strength you always hoped for
In the times when you were stupid and you really didn’t know more

I won’t sit here and take this, I won’t let you destroy this
This love I hold for her is so precious, I enjoy this
I tried to just avoid this for years and I was empty
And that’s when you took control, that’s when you tried to tempt me
But now it’s hard to get me cause I’m stronger and much wiser
I’ll still screw up a million things, but I’ll never be a liar
And I’ll never be the person who you try to make me out to be
I’ll fight you til the very end, I’ll fight you when you shout at me
And when you throw your doubt at me, I’ll refuse to take it
My heart is fucking fragile but I refuse to let you break it
As much as I still hate this, the love is now my reason
It’s the warmth inside a crippled heart when everything is freezing

Twelve and Twelve (3/22/2008)

[christopher]
I’m laying by your side and I couldn’t be much better
Everything has come together and I hope it lasts forever
Cause every tie’s been severed to the past that I once held
You picked me up a thousand times every time I fell
And everything’s gone well and everything’s so perfect
The struggle that we went through, I think that it was worth it
Cause everything has purpose and both of us are fighters
And love is the igniter of these hearts that fill with fire
And when everything gets dire and the world is falling inward
The sum of my soul’s purpose can be always found in this word
The letters fixed this hurt and have helped me rise above
A word and feeling in me, you’re my everything, my love

[melanie]
We can make the world jealous with the love that we posses
We may not be that perfect but this month has been the best
And I cant wait to grow older and be your wife
Have your kids and have you in the rest of my life
You’ve made me so happy, over the moon kinda love
And I’ll never get bored and you’ll always be enough
Cause your voice became my daily routine
I finally found the man of my dreams
And when you whisper that you love me, I wish I had your last name
I’ve waited so long to hear that, I’m so happy that you came
We are so in love, your my man and I’m your girl
I’ll wait forever to be your wife, but for now we’ll fight the world.

Notes: A collaboration between, obviously, me and Melanie. Speaking for myself, it’s not my best work, but the meaning is as pure and honest as can be.

Hett Avenue (4/15/2008)

On the corner of Hett is where I gaze into her eyes
Escaping from the time, she makes me feel alive
She takes me by surprise with every single smile
I hate to say goodbye, I just want to change the dial
Cause I want to stay a while, if a while is forever
We’re facing every trial, we’re facing them together
It’s the way that she got me and the way she let me get her
When she’s standing by my side, she makes me feel much better
But some people just won’t let up or give us both a chance
I understand your reasons, but just let me hold her hand
I know that I can stand it, but I’d love to go without it
The worries that you share and the fact that you still doubt it
But the facts have all resounded, just look at us together
Charging through the weather and making ourselves better
The years are an obstacle, but they won’t be so forever
Cause all I have is love for her to exhibit in this letter
And simply put: I get her cause I care and have compassion
You can see it in the love we share and view it in my actions
You can see it when I hold her and see the pure attraction
Take notice of the smiles and this spiritual reaction
Bear witness to the tears I shed and notice what will happen
The moment that we separate, I’ll wither in retraction
She invigorates this passion when I hold her to my chest
I fell in love with her, love’s home is now on Hett