Posts tagged poems

Stuck in Repair

0
2 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Allow me a moment to not keep it together
Put it all through the shredder and destroy every letter
The only way to get better is to fall to the bottom
Instead of clawing at walls that are built on the problem
Cause I’ll never solve them if my focus is wasted
On a stack of what’s baseless while I’m lacking the patience
The track of this hatred can just burn up a spirit
It’s an addiction I love, though, I know I should fear it
Cause I’m peerless by choice when I’m blinded by redness
I’m destructive and pathetic in every word of the sentence
And while I work in the presence of the sabotage that I cling to
I forget all the stress and the barrage that it brings you
The way that it stings you, clocks your bell and then rings you
And how, when you sleep, it awakes you to ping you
The way that it brings you to the holes that I fell through
Through the tears the I cry and the words that I tell you
But the hurt that I sell you, shouldn’t be up for purchase
It’s mine that I made in this search for a purpose
The rings of this circus have been built by insanity
These thoughts can result in a bit of calamity
An inner self tragedy where burdens are carried
And tied to a soul to which they want to be married
Though if they could be parried, I’d give up the affair
But this luck is unfair and I stay stuck in repair

Notes: It’s been a while since I’ve written anything this fast paced and tied together so well.

Letter to a Friend

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2 years ago
by bangbang023 in

You’re the only one who never gets tired of listening
Whether I’m elated or burdened or rebellious and picketing
When the air is there thickening and it’s hard to inhale
You prevail though it all and will not let me fail
Cause this tale can repeat a bit and be a bit stale
My money’s been lacking and my soul is on sale
I’ve been blazing a trail that leads me to nowhere
Though, sometimes, I think the world wants me to go there
Left in the cold where I can start to grow numb
Left all alone there without love or the sun
Just shadows and visions that dance until one
A singular hatred for what’s said and been done
But, in my head, you’re the one who makes it all better
A patch and a stitch can help keep me together
When all hope has been severed, you sew up the pieces
You gather my thoughts and then give them a reason
Like signs for a cause or expressions of treason
You dictate the scene and give it its meaning
When everyone’s leaving, you insist on remaining
Like a break from the cold, an umbrella when raining
Like strength when mine’s waning and air when I’m breathless
Sedation at night when I am nothing but restless
I am never left helpless with you as my friend
A letter from Chris to my paper and pen

A Look and a Glance

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2 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I take a look at this life and question what it all means
Take a glance through my eyes and for a second you’ll see
That some parts are a dream and the image pristine
While some visions can tear every last stitch from my seams
So, just picture the scene as I can’t make them happy
Two options: Both wrong and yet right, so they trap me
What’s first should be lastly unless I do it that way
Then the last should be first, but they’ll rule it the same
Is their truth just a game to see when they’ll break me?
Do they think I’m ok or do they secretly hate me?
The questions I ponder while the ends aren’t meeting
I work at a job but my mom keeps me eating
Cause this job is a place where hard work gets you nothing
Loyalty, ethics and knowledge should get something
But verbally fronting an act that is hollow
Obtains the reward and the good things that follow
And it’s so hard to swallow, but I can’t do the same
I was taught to work hard; its the way I was raised
I expected my hard work and skill to get praised
But, instead, I get nothing but ignored and betrayed
And all doors are the same whatever my choice is
The silence at work gets mixed in with their voices
I’m simply not right, not allowed to enjoy this
As I struggle inside to find a way to avoid this

Chains of Paralysis

1
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I’m so sick of the chains that take every word away
Letters erased that could take all the hurt away
They could settle my nerves today and make it all better
But every damn person hates every damn letter
And I’m so fucking fed up with the blood on my lips
From biting my tongue every time that I’m pissed
If a thought can exist should it be such a crime
To speak from the heart with these words from the mind?
Cause time after time I get lectured and beaten
For thinking this way, for whatever the reason
First it was humor and then my analysis
The silence you want is this mental paralysis
So, drink from these chalices and taste all the blood
Every thought from my veins that I send you with love
I don’t care if I suck or if you give a fuck
I’ll do this for me cause these words have my trust
Cause when I’m set to bust and erupt with a passion
These fucking words help to calm the reaction
No matter what’s said, no matter what happens
They’re here to listen, not seek a retraction
Cause when I get all trapped in thoughts that consume me
I need to release them, the feeling is soothing
If people won’t listen, if people don’t give a shit
I’ll write it all here, I’ll write ’til I finish it

Birds and Boxing

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3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Bang is back into the role of the crazy alter ego
It may be hard to read, though, in all the places we go
Up flying with the seagulls then gloved up in the ring
These brain waves start to wander and this is what they bring
You can’t sing or do a thing except let them permeate you
These words can chew you up then they’ll regurgitate you
You may ask if my words hate you or if I’m schizophrenic
I just put it in a sentence and pray these kids will get it
Cause once I’ve said it, it’s been ended and nobody can erase it
Ignore it, love it, hate it there no hope that I’ll replace it
Maybe I’m not famous and perhaps no one can hear me
Or am I convoluted? Am I speaking to you clearly?
Or should I fix the mic and then make the paper brighter?
I can change the web address and I can turn the volume higher
I could aspire to be great, but I kind of like insanity
Just like my favorite sins of lust, gluttony, and vanity
Cause my anatomy and mind set both came from the same bucket
Somebody ripped the label off and scribbled on it “fuck it”
So, this what I’m stuck with and this is what you’re getting
A little bit of nothing disguised in what I’m sending
Patent pending and a copyright and everything official
Sometimes it’s complicated but today was very simple
Twist these dimples to a smirk and heed imagination
Myself and only me in this dream collaboration

Notes: Just me being bored and writing something silly.

Avoid and Desire

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3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I’m so sick of the writing that nobody will read
I’m fed up with the shadows, I’m so sick of the dream
And I hate every spotlight that refuses to shine
Because it’s just not right if the spotlight’s not mine
It burns hot in my mind just a tiny a little bit
The desire’s a craving that I can never admit
Cause I’m just another kid with a pen and a page
And a screen and a keyboard and a lot left to say
Like the way that I hate the role of always the beta
I’m not always the alpha, but to lead is my nature
My employer’s a traitor, I’m more stressed than I show
And that’s the reason that I can be presented as cold
Cause if you dig through the folds of the thoughts that I hold
Chaos and confusion are the pictures you”ll know
There is warmth in my soul, but it’s been frozen by envy
A lust for the spotlight that could burn bright and steady
Is it petty to want a few minutes to shine bright?
Is it silly to want your attention and lime light?
I’ll tell you I’m fine, right? But that’s so you won’t notice
That I have nothing to say and that I lost all my focus
And it’s hopeless, I know this, if I commit to the cycle
Of avoiding the chances to shift myself out of idle
It’s my nature, I guess, to contradict my desire
I say I don’t want it, but I’m simply a liar

World Gone Gray

1
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

When the world has gone gray and your heart’s in pain
When the world you face is all parts of hate
And when you start to fade cause it’s hard to take
I will take all the dark and the scars away
Cause when you start to say you’re not appreciated
I will tell you “Thank you” for your love and patience
When you read their hatred sprawled on these pages
I will tear them out and help you erase it

Babe, the world’s been jaded by baseless hatred
Hearts are lost in the dark they’re laced with
And some can’t take this, your blissful smile
So, they tear you down and they act so vile
Meanwhile, they find peace while you find tears
They attack with their jealousy, doubts and their fears
But, through all of your tears, I will be beside you
To dry your eyes and place peace inside you
And I will breathe, remind you, that you can escape it
You can find your way to these better places
Your strength’s within and they can not take it
It’s forever your’s, so please be patient
Cause we’ll get away, one day, I promise
I’m right here with you and love is honest
No one can stop this or break you to pieces
I will never let them, they will never beat this

Notes: I haven’t written in a while, so it’s a bit rough around the edges. Then again, I think the meaning is more important than the technical aspects of it.

Everything Missing

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3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I am not a fan of this happiness and blissfulness
The smiles on these faces, I’m growing fucking sick of this
Go and try to picture this: Me and all my hatred
Alone in the cold of a sea of nameless faces
And maybe I’m just tasteless, bitter and so jaded
The energy of darkness is bottled up, I saved it
Faking all the patience while I’m building up my energy
I tucked it safe away until I make another enemy
Holding it so steadily, this is my persona
I am filled with tons of love, but I’m also hatred’s owner
With my patience spilling over and pain flooding through my brain
When I’m left here all alone with no one to keep me sane
I guess I’m just the same when I’m left all to my lonely
Do I even have to say it? I think by now you know me
It just eats at me more slowly than the pace at which it used to
Maybe I’m just crazy when I’m facing down this issue
Cause I’m prone to say I miss you more than I should admit to
But she’s the one to keep me well when I only want to hit you
She’s the light to chase the shadows and erase away the blackness
But she isn’t here right now so instead I face this panic
And I’m shaking like an addict, I need to fucking fix this
I’ve always been so screwed up, the anxiety still itches
Cause everything is missing and everything is faded
While I sit and count the minutes, sitting and just waiting

Broken Speaker

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3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

What did I do to you to make you want to break me?
Every day you take me and flip me up and shake me
There’s no method of escaping that can fucking save me
Is it out of consequence or is it that you hate me?
Cause you face me with these challenges now that I can smile
It’s been a while since I’ve been here, I thought I lost the style
But the black of the emotions is the number on the dial
And your finger’s firmly pressed on it, adding to the pile
As you file through the happiness and grind it to the bone
Now you put me in the zone and you convince me I’m alone
There’s no phone there to console me, just me and broken soul
If I say that I can’t take it will you finally just fold?
As I hold on to the images of every thing I’ve needed
I’m slowly going broke, I’m quickly torn to pieces
What’s the reason for the road I’m on? Can I ever leave it?
Am I infected by the black of it and can I fucking treat it?
I’m receding to the stress of old while I sit in silence
I’m failing every test I take and losing all the vibrance
The brightness to the life I had, enough to pierce your eyelids
But now there’s only darkness and I can not fucking hide it
And I can not fucking fight it, I feel I’m growing weaker
Like I’m screaming at the microphone, but someone broke the speaker
This silence is my keeper as I sit and bear this burden
What did I perpetuate that I’m labeled so deserving?

Notes:It’s a letter to life

Don’t Erase It

0
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

There’s a haze over my eyes that tells me I can’t focus
This feeling is so damning, it can sometimes be so hopeless
When I’m drained of all emotions and I rest beside the quiet
I start to lose my mind a bit, I really can’t deny it
That I’m inspired by the chaos, my agony and weakness
Letters flow so fluidly when I’m falling all to pieces
When I’m smothered by the leeches that try to drain me dry
I write a thousand lines from the pain inside my mind
But the rain that filled my sky has suddenly gone missing
The man in me is happy, but the writer’s left here itching
Twitching in discomfort from the panic of the silence
It’s enough to drive him crazy while leaving him so quiet
Cause this blissful kind of diet is shockingly nutritious
The fire loses fuel until it doesn’t seem so viscous
But he wishes he could handle it, I wish that I could write again
Just scribble down a line or two before I lose my mind again
Cause agony has died within and though it’s what I prayed for
I always thought that I would be able to create more
Writing out depictions that are somewhat thought provoking
Emotions on the side and replaced by joyful hoping
But I’m stoking up a fire that doesn’t want ignition
I’m thankful for this love and that I found what I was missing
But if anyone can hear me, can you answer listen to my wishes
Let me keep this happiness, but help me push the piston
And get this engine rolling and then get the letters flowing
Persuade this mind to think a bit, give it food for growing
Leave me standing upright with my love and former skill set
Keep me in this fairy tale, but don’t erase this thrill yet

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