Posts tagged poems

Pairing

1
6 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Pairing (8/28/2005)

Here’s a story of two people who are sharing their compassion
Both under different steeples but still the same attraction
But they need to take some action as everything is rotting
The walls they built are falling and the blood of love is clotting
And to everyone, it’s shocking, cause apart they’re so much better
But weakness filters in everytime they get together
If this pairing couldn’t work then what hope is left for us
If all they feel is hurt, then no soul is left to trust

Let’s take a look at her and try to get our bearings
She, wanted all along, a chance at this whole pairing
Approaching it seemed scary, but she gave it all it needed
Until the day was born and hope and joy succeeded
But, energy depleted, she wanted some return
A little bit of effort that’s put in to ease the burn
But now her stomach churns as she waits there by the phone
Clenching at her heart as she sits there all alone
Cause even when she’s home, he is rarely there
A ghost within her darkness, she needs to know he cares
But all he does is stare and give her empty promises
Now she is feeling scared, but wanting to move on with this

Now, lets flip it back to him and analyze the story
A little lost within and he finds his life so boring
Never really open and never really knowing
What it means to share a love and leave your feelings showing
Though, his heart inside is glowing behind the outter shell
He wants his space to live without hearing her just yell
But trapped inside a hell of not being good enough
Not knowing who to be and maybe fearing total trust

It’s funny how these things always get so complicated
We forget just what we have and get so damn frustrated
Never really happy with a smile and compassion
That’s why most pairings fail, we all want more to happen

Back Story: Not really my place to explain the details, but it’s a true story or, at least, my interpretation of it. This is not about me.

Two Sided Reflection

0
6 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Two Sided Reflection (8/26/2005)

I see you peaking at me and I think you know it too
Are you thinking you can trap me even though I said it’s through?
Yeah, I think the worst of you after everything that happened
But I try to keep my cool and force me to be passive
But, damn, it’s so attractive and ever so damn tempting
To come around your corner for a little bit of venting
Fucking with your head and getting you all worked up
But, there’s nothing to be said and little left to stir up
Even now, I’ve used my words up, draining every thought
Using you for anger, I remember how we fought
And so, the past is lost and it’s funny how I’m better
I’m not blaming you for everything, that’s another whole damn letter

Magic is as magic does, we had our fifteen minutes
Occupying others with our lives ’til it was finished
Making people crazy with our doubts and insecurities
Everything was “maybe” but we said it so assuringly
And everything seemed sure to me, cornered by assumptions
Our relationship broke down, well, I guess it never functioned
We crashed at every junction ’til you chose to turn away
You chose another path and I was left to find my way
But, now I’m not afraid, I’m much stronger than I was
This rhyme gives it away, that I’m no longer giving up
Just pass to me my cup and I’ll drink up all your pain
You can hurt me all you want but I’ve adapted to the rain
Cause, no, I’m not the same, I’ve broken that addiction
Though I’m sure that some would say that it was more like an affliction
Like a tragedy of fiction, but a movie come to life
Where the hero dies to live and set it back right

But, let me end this rhyme, before I come off like a martyr
That wasn’t my intention, dealing’s just been harder
Though, I’m able to go farther if you make me run the race
I’ll even end right here and wait for you to set the pace

Back Story: I debated whether or not I would mention Kristen by name. Was I that angry still or could I reflect more maturely? I tried conveying that progression in this poem. Just when the first stanza seems to be leading to an angry rhyme, I take a breath and redirect it, a bit.

Fran of Frans

0
6 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Fran of Frans (8/17/2005)

Now that I have your attention, sit down for the session
While I babble to teach you and vent out my aggression
I just found my profession, done without your disgression
Beautiful hate that will hand out a new lesson
I’ll stop now, I’m just flexin’, showing off verbal muscle
Flipping through words with no concern of the trouble
Oh please don’t be mad, I’m begging you please
Ha, I’m just playing, get as pissed as you need
Get the pistols you keep and shoot rounds off at me
Curse me for relief ’til you’ve found disbelief
“I just do not get it, he was once such a good boy”
Write me angry letters, hope I’ll find us a new joy
And pray that I’ll rejoin your most perfect of dinners
Nothing like sharing the bullshit with sinners
Whose eyebrows’ the thinnest? Are her’s painted on?
That bitch is a racist, yet her face is long gone
I should take my long arm and smack her a little
Just enough to set straight and get her back in the middle
Walking the line of the crazy and desparate
This house wife’s not pretty, but is plastic invested
Oh, that’s so precious, that is so god damn perfect
I’ll go hump on her leg ’til I’m labeled perverted
No, your’e not crazy, that made no damn sense
She gave me her drinks and now my head is a mess

What is this beef? What the hell is he doing?
The past is complete, but the future is brewing
Something not sealed up, so now I will close it
Abuse her a little, have my fun and expose it
Cause people like that, with the fakest of faces
Need a small taste of the hate of the racists
You fuck around with that stuff and here’s your results
Oh, Fran of the Frans, a clown and her cult

Note: This is a very delayed reaction. Maybe like 2 or 3 years ago, there was an incident at my Aunt’s house where someone close to me was pretty insulted by the racist comments made by a drunken friend of my Aunt. I wasn’t the Chris I am today back then, so I didn’t really have the focus to react the way I should have. I finally just approached it and, instead of adding more hate and anger to such stupidity, I decided to have fun with it while still making a statement.

Gasp of Exhaustion

0
6 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Gasp of Exhaustion (8/17/2005)

The words that I speak are often lost in translation
I see love, you see hate, now you see me fill with frustration
All the verbal gestation and the preparation I go through
Just to spit a few lines that I can present you and show you
But why does it throw you and the meaning not flow through?
Does the beat have you twisted? Does the rhyme pattern slow you?
I don’t fucking know you and assume you’re not stupid
But it just goes to show you that this talent is useless
It’s all wasted and putrid from a man who is clueless
I don’t know shit about life yet I sit here and do this
Rocky or fluid, it’s not something that matters
It’s like speaking to walls, meaning lost and all shattered
From all the mad hatters to the cheshire catters
To the stars in the sky that confuse all my chatter
I sweat and I clammer just to have nobody get it
No damn clue what I’m saying no matter how that I said it
And somehow I regret it, I fucking hate the confusion
I pour out my soul and give you the chance for inclusion
When you say I’m not open and I don’t fucking say shit
Did you read my damn rhymes or will you once again fake it?
Stare at me faceless, blank eyes for the lying
You think that you know me, but you don’t know my writing
But why bother fighting? Why should I care if you listen?
I’ll go back to my corner, curled in the fetal position

Man, I’m just tired and I have no thoughts I can go with
I’m exhausted from trying to find a beat I can flow with
I wish that someone would notice the things I keep saying
Pick up on the lines and just notice I’m praying
From a soul that’s decaying to a God that can’t hear me
Words I’ll keep saying ’til the whole world will jeer me
It’s okay if you fear me and wish to keep distance
I hate myself too at this moment and instant
Should I keep with persistance or back away slowly?
Crawl back to the hole so the whole world can’t know me
Will somebody show me how to maintain my essence
I’m eroding away the more I learn all these lessons

Note: To really feel this one, you have to imagine it as I wrote it. The first stanza is basically me screaming at everyone about how I hate being misunderstood and how no one pays close enough attention to my writing and how, sometimes, I feel like this “talent” is a complete waste. The second stanza is where I just collapse and fall back from exhaustion and simply mutter and cry out my last words before going back into hiding. It’s just how I feel right now.

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