Posts tagged poems

Medication

3
5 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Medication (7/9/2006)

Sometimes all this frustration can really start to build up
And I’m about to over flow, blow my lid, I’m all filled up
With the rage and the adrenaline of twenty thousand life times
I get caught inside the moment as I scream away a few lines
Cause I’m feeding off the fuel lines of the pressure always mounting
There’s no way to calm me down, there’s no breathing and no counting
Yet, I find it so astounding as I turn the volume upwards
That it quiets all the rage like a motorcycle’s muffler
As I bang my head all crazy and thrash my body with it
The weight of the frustration is all broken as it’s lifted
A rocking fucking misfit with a scream to vent the pressure
The decibels in numbers but the value has no measure

Flip it all around, I sometimes walk into depression
A battle that I wage and I win with every lesson
But sometimes the feelings build up and everything comes crashing
The anger has escaped me, there’s no energy for trashing
But I turn the the volume past me and I listen to the sorrow
Of the men who walked before me and that made it to tomorrow
The emotions that I deal with right there inside the speaker
As I listen and get stronger, surprisingly not weaker
So I hang on to the tweeter and I let it ring right through me
I let it take control as I waive my lighter smoothly
I let it guide and pull me and direct me in my footsteps
It has never let me down every time I need a push, yet

Some say it’s only music, but it’s more than just a passion
It’s the beat inside my soul, it’s the anger and compassion
The energy to drive me and the strength to pick me up
It’s the way to clear the fog instead of always giving up
So, I thought I’d give it up and send out this dedication
To every song that made me well like a perfect medication
There’s no doubt or hesitation when I dial up the dosage
Just my own anticipation as I hear what you don’t notice

I Am Arrogant

1
5 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I Am Arrogant (6/28/06)

It seems that Mr. Ghostman has a problem with my confidence
He called me “trifle idiot” and thought that would be stopping it
But I simply won’t be dropping it cause this is who I tend to be
You have to know you’re better if you wish to win successfully
So everything you said to me is simply like a broken record
You’re acting like a hard ass, but I love feeling this pressured
If you took the tape and measured, you’d see the one who’s smiling
You’re the one all pissed off and I’m the one that’s styling
But what made you get so violent? Why the petty name calling?
Is that all you really have, boy? Nothing but the same stalling?
It’s always been the same story, attacks against my character
That only serve to charge me and give me that much stamina

Let’s take a second now to examine the whole story
Mr. Ghostman likes to troll and I found it to get boring
So with arrogance up soaring, I called these people on it
But apparently I’m dickish for being so damn honest
And I should feel admonished for not bowing to the pressure
Yeah, you can laugh here with me cause they couldn’t know me lesser
I will go to only measure to defend what I believe in
And there’s still no bullet holes, nothing, I’m not bleeding
But damn I love this feeling, Senor Ghostman got all serious
Like a mute guy under water, though, I don’t think I’ll be hearing it
You scribbled a whole diatribe to which I didn’t read
You wasted all that time, all that time on little me

So, do you see my point, boy? Are you getting this transmission?
All the others know about me and they know of my position
I’ll never back away from an argument or battle
Hell, even face to face, you’d be rowing with no paddle
Cause this is how I am, this is me all through and through
A prick who has some confidence to do what he must do
You think I would be shot for simply being somewhat confident?
Well, actually this attitude is what got me my respect

Notes: So, who is Mr. Ghostman? Let’s spin the record and see where the needle stops.

Rock and Hard Place

1
5 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Rock and Hard Place (6/16/2006)

It’s hard to admit to myself that I may have been wrong
I get along but the pain has gone on for so long
I tried changing my song to make everything perfect
But I lost track of the reason and lost sight of the purpose
Cause in this circus of life where everything is twisted
I thought they were special and that they were gifted
But when I see the tears inside of my own sister’s eyes
It quiets my pride and puts some thought in my mind
About the times that I let their opinions get to me
And the times that I spoke, and their words had come through me
When I questioned what I was doing even though I was right
And when I gave up the fight cause of where I sleep at night
But I feel it’s right, she’s simply finding complacence
A girl that is growing and is still finding her placement
With a love in her heart to fill what is missing
The same kind you might see when you start reminiscing

It’s a tough place to be in, between beliefs and good reason
Between knowing what’s right and still wanting to please them
But should we all walk away from the things we believe in
And ignore what we love with every breath that we breathe in
Or every time that we see them, we see their whole disappointment
Cause we let them both down, in their mind’s it’s a treason
So many damn choices with something that’s so easy
When life’s calling to you and proclaiming “just seize me”
But their looks are so freezing, why can’t someone relieve me?
Should we chase what we love or give up, make it easy?
The line may sound cheesy, but it’s our life to live with
And if it all feels so right, then it’s what we should stick with
And it’s what we should live with and what we should lean on
It’s the passion to drive us and remind us to keep on
Cause one day it might be gone, a loved faded forever
But for now it’s right here and it helps keep life together

Mr. Ghostman

1
5 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Mr. Ghostman (6/13/2006)

I see some people have issues like Kleenex got tissues
If you find that shit lame, well, I guess, boy, it fits you
I don’t want this to hit you, though, cause it might break a platter
If there’s nothing to spin then the party might shatter
And the people that scatter might get a bit crazy
They just might come for me, well that’s really a maybe
I’m not dealing with ladies when you’re like Mrs. Daisy
So disappear like a ghost, not like Patrick Swayze
But you think that you phase me? Then you really don’t know me
I’m so calm, cool, collected, so just kneel down and blow me
And show me the way that you made all your friends son
You can start a mix tape, but I’ll be sure that I end one
I’ll seal it and send one and I’ll tell Mr. Postman
“Make sure that it gets there, to my Mr. Ghostman
He’s been wanting to boast man, so here’s my dedication
Now please rush this to him, I don’t like hesitation”
Cause I lost my reservations when his bullshit persisted
He’s just a little too tender, he can’t handle the critics
The one’s with the balls to step up in the moment
His anger’s a farce and he’s so far from potent
And I thought he should know it so I stood up and told it
I held to my word and made sure that I sold it
A “wanna be” knight with a horse made of bullshit
I thought you were cool, but you continue to pull this
And you’re acting so foolish, so hidden and gutless
Disguising your words like they’re chicken veal cutlets
Man, I crack my ass up with the lame jokes like that
Oh, before I lose track, can you please play my nut sack?

Notes: It’s a piece you have to read a bit slowly. If you can’t already tell, it’s supposed to be cheesy as hell. Lame insult after lame insult. Why? Because I’m not angry, just having fun trading blows with a truly immature person. On a side note, I never thought I’d use Patrick Swayze’s name in a rhyme, haha.

Generalization of a Lone Man

1
5 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Generalization of a Lone Man (6/3/2006)

Let’s take a look at our subject as he smiles along
He laughs with the rest so they don’t know something’s wrong
Some kind of protection from the thoughts in his mind
He’s doing fine though he feels a little worn out by the time
As he goes down the line and examines the faces
The stories of the people and the tales of the places
The way they all seem complacent without needing too much
Yet he gave up the world and now he can’t even find trust
So he breathes in the dust and stays down on the ground
There’s no point to get up when your hope has been drowned
So just lay on your back and simply pray that it passes
Then wipe the sweat from your brow and clear the tears from your lashes
And fight the fears and the madness and remember the good times
Every moment you smiled and when you knew that you could rhyme
With nothing but good lines, a silent prayer of thanks giving
Back to a time that’s been lost, way back when he was still living

I know it seems it’s the same thing, but trust me it’s different
One man had died with emotion, but this one will die with logistics
Hoping that logic will fix this and make everything a bit better
So he can get right back on the road and simply get it together
With the pieces thought missing and the questions unanswered
Replaced by solutions and instincts and more light in the lantern
The feelings that hampered him will be thrown to the wayside
And quickly forgotten when he sees that they ain’t right
Cause it’s not that he hates life, he’s just tired of feeling
The highs and the lows of a life with no meaning
And though he’s happy with dreaming, he knows there’s nothing to live for
There’s no light in his mind, his heart’s unwilling to give more

Notes: It’s a little weak, technically speaking, but my mind wasn’t all there. The piece itself describes the feeling of not thinking there’s anything out there that assures you of a happy future, especially after seeing what’s more than good enough for others.

Dementia

1
5 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Dementia (5/26/2006)

Sitting in the shadows as I claw through all these questions
These voices tend to mention how I’ve fallen from perfection
And now they’re my obsession, I’m paranoid about my rhymes
Cause I’m freaking that I’m losing the ability to write
And it’s killing me tonight, I feel it wrenching at my body
Somebody’s written something, but somebody’s name is “not me”
The delusions now have got me and I’m losing it at top speed
Crashing through euphoria and now I’m not so cocky
And I’m begging you to stop me, please make me drop the pen
Please spill the ink and cap me and then send me off to bed
Cause none of this makes sense and I’m going fucking crazy
The drought happens too often and it has a way to phase me
And it blinds me ’til it’s hazy, then it calls me and it sways me
‘Til I’m bloodshot in the eyes and I’ll settle for a maybe
Then that’s when it betrays me and leaves me on a whim
With nothing left to studder and no feelings left within
And I really start to thin as the thoughts and feeling swell up
Making me all dizzy til I tripped and simply fell up
No sense can seem to gel up and I’m lacking a real subtance
The tormentors in my head laugh and seem to love this
I collapse, I’m feeling gutless, damn, where has all my skill gone?
I sit and try to write, then crumple cause it’s still gone
No paper left to spill on and no pen for me to bleed through
No blood inside the head to surge until it’s seeps through
And No words for me to feed you, no pulse behind the nerves
Where the fuck is agony? Where the fuck are all the words?
This all feels so absurd. Am I running out of hurt?
Well, beat me to a pulp so I have pain to observe
And I can get over this curve and get right back to my writing
Returning to the passion that I really feel defines me
I don’t need happy findings and I don’t need sunny days
I need something to hurt me and I need to feel deranged

Notes: It should be pretty clear. I’m simply going into the chaos I sometimes feel when I want to write, but can’t.

Invisible Friend

1
5 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Invisible Friend (5/22/2006)

When I wake up in the morning, I remember the issues
The things inside my head that remind me I miss you
And though we only talk inside of imperfect dreams
It’s the thought of your voice that closes my tearing seams
Because I’m bearing the fiends that always keep me so lonely
Until I talk to you because I think that you know me
And the things that you show me, have shown me … whatever
The point of the matter is that you keep me together
And make me feel better and get me back on my feet
So I can prove to the world that I still haven’t been beat
I think that maybe I’m crazy for having lonely discussions
But it’s all that I have, you’re my emergency button

I guess I find it ironic, though, that only now I am talking
Maturely venting to you in a way to help me keep walking
I’ve been growing inside and trying to find an example
Of when it’s okay to pray and grab for the handle
And look for assitance and search for compassion
A beautiful spirit to listen and guide a few actions
You’re one of my closest friends even though I can’t see you
Getting me through the days that I don’t want to breathe through
Though I don’t want to need you, I can swallow my pride
I try to do that so often because I’m hollow inside
I try to follow the lines that you seem to be painting
And hope that you’re right and that it’s really worth waiting
Because I’m sick of evading and stuffing it deeper
You look so damn peaceful, I’ve been wanting a breather
You’re my break and my guidance and my lone inspiration
You’re the friend I can’t see, but always showing me patience

Bit of My Thoughts

2
5 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Bit of My Thoughts (5/14/2006)

I have fallen off the face of the earth, or so it seems
I’ve just been dealing with historical birth inside my dreams
Thinking of the past and the hurt and silent screams
Now I need a chance to flirt with life and what it means
And write off what I bleed and vent off a little steam
And get a message sent, what I meant, when liars read
There’s a little bit of anger deep inside my head
But I’ll amp it up a bit when I turn the knob to ten
Cause I know I got my friends, but I got a lot questions
How can whores complain when they never found rejection
But I guess they need acceptance to fill some void inside
When a man requests the job, they simply must employ the guy
Then they just enjoy the ride, but eventually he’ll get off
Both meanings of the term, but one left her feeling so lost
But stop your god damn bitching, this is everything you chose
And you have to take the thorns when you want to take the rose
Though, I guess we have our roads and it’s harder to pull over
Than to wander the same path and let ourselves grow colder
Dealing with those people who leave and come again
Arriving every time they decide they need a friend
Or when they need a favor, just a little task at hand
But then they disappear when they’re asked to understand
Claiming they’re too busy with the life and world around then
So you search for words to say but you really never found them
Though you clench your fists and pound them, solely acting out of spite
Refusing to help out because you hope it makes things right
But, though it may seem right, you’re only playing the same role
Another part time friend who’s never there when you’re alone
And never there to share the load, like true brothers always do
That’s why I got my boy and don’t care what others do
Eighteen fucking years and still everything goes strong
Growing into men but still we’re playing the same song
With lyrics full of kindness and sacrifice and patience
Mother fucking morons, but yet we never do it tasteless
And everything goes right everytime we reach the end
There to share the pains and the bandages to mend

Notes: It flows decently well. Since I can’t really find one topic to write on, I sort of blended four (though the first is mentioned in only the second line) separate thoughts into one piece. This is a general idea of all the randomness I face every day inside my mind and the grab bag of emotions I can go through. I just hope you guys like it. I’m trying to write more often without forcing it, you know?

Splintering

1
5 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Splintering (5/1/2006)

I’ve tried a couple times but I’m still lost without a rhyme
There is nothing in my mind, I feel so hollow down inside
And it’s hard to swallow pride when there’s none there in the first place
The dark behind my eyes signifies it’s the worst case
If feel so lost as my nerves shake as I twitch to feel something
I just stare through the days cause it’s hurts to feel nothing
The last urge that is pumping every drop through my system
Is all that I hear when I stop look and listen
It’s obvious that I’m missing a certain vigor and passion
I feel apathetic to every damn thing that happens
And every thought to take action is drowned out by the silence
Where’s the anger and hate and poetic justice and violence?
Where’s the hatred inside us? Well, the anger I harbored
I can’t find the rebellion that always took me much farther
The one that my father always seemed to look down on
The flame down inside that I’d base my whole sound on
The taste I’d rebound on when somebody would hurt me
The ignition I’d pound on when it was time to get dirty
The rock that was sturdy when I thought I would crumble
And kept me from unnerving everytime that I’d stumble
And fed me lines when I’d fumble and trip over my wording
The rage that would heal me everytime I was hurting
Where has it gone now? Why the fuck did it leave me?
It left in a rush, man, I never felt it receding
But I’m melting and bleeding, I’m tearing right at the seams
And I’m surrounded by nothing even there inside my dreams
And there in my screams, there’s nothing but a small whisper
As the soul full of passion is broken down as it splinters

Dramatize Me

1
5 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Dramatize Me (4/21/2006)

Just look at you sitting there bitching about the same things
Making something out of nothing, proclaiming that the pain stings
Asking God to “save me” when you do not need a rescue
You’re in a generic situation, but you love the looks it gets you
And you say that it upsets you while you mix in more dramatics
Flexing through the loopholes, you should try some acrobatics
The noise you make’s all static, but you’re crazy and an addict
To the attention that you bring when you pretend you’re in a panic
But that’s enough, I’ve had it, I won’t help you with these issues
I’ll pick up the pen and paper instead of handing you a tissue
I pray this message hits you and you get down from stage, kid
I’m so tired of this bullshit and I’ve lost what’s left of patience

Whoa, Chris, let’s slow it down, regain our focus
Ignore the petty minors begging for your hocus pocus
The magic fairy doses of advice and life experience
Applied to utter nonsense from the people far from serious
The one’s who are the cheeriest, but lack the world’s attention
Crying “woe is me” all for your notice and retention
They hope there’s no prevention to a life so full of drama
They’re looking for your pity cause they lack respect and honor
So they hack at you with fodder bout their parents and their friendships
The mom and dad still there and the friends who never get pissed
Writing every sentence with disgusting motivation
And the fucking phoney hatred of someone with no causation

Notes: Just a short rant about drama queens. It’s a little rough, but I haven’t written in 10 days, so one would expect that.

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