Posts tagged poems

Fuses

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1 year ago
by bangbang023 in

I have no where to go now, but I need someone to listen
As I whimper to myself while I sit in this position
Cause her hidden disposition, look a ring is friggin’ missin’
A heart shaped necklace, too, and it burns me like a piston
Cause I’m simply no magician and I’m really way too stubborn
I try to hide a lot of things that simply get unconvered
Like the fact that I feel sorry, but because of all your actions
I can’t spit out the words to repair what’s just been fractured
Yeah, sure, I want to patch it and make it good and better
But you still break up with me after every fight together
One day you say “forever” and the next you say “it’s over”
I want to be much warmer, but you force me to be colder
Cause there’s safety, like I told her, not living in emotion
I wanted to be risky, though, and go with every motion
Sure, the ocean has so many fish to feed a feeding frenzy
But you’re the only one I want when I feeling empty
Do you hear me? Do you get me? Am I speaking clearly?
You’re breaking up with me but I love you very dearly
I wish that you were near me, sitting on this step now
Knowing both our walls have been put away and let down
But we’re both so damn upset now and both too fucking prideful
Though a simple kiss from you would be awesomely delightful
We’re both so fucking spiteful, though, both too fucking stupid
To see this fight is ruthless and really fucking useless
So, until we calm our fuses we just tear apart the walls, now
We burn the fucking roof off and watch it tear and fall down
We don’t even care to call out or look each other’s way
We just find a satisfaction in the soot that leaves us gray
But, as we start to burn away and scorch the air around us
We turn ourselves around and see the love that’s always bound us
Not as though with chains, but the bond that makes us stronger
So, we put aside the difference and we pray forever’s longer

Notes: Been a while, huh? Don’t expect it too often, though.

Story of Jafar

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1 year ago
by bangbang023 in

Let me tell you a story and blow it out of proportion
A classical tale flipped around by distortion
I’ll mix in my sound and bounce out a few portions
I’d keep with this rhyming, but every word would be forced in
So, proceeding with caution, I beg you to have patience
You can call me Jafar, so villainous with my hatred
As ink spills on these pages, you’ll come across this Aladdin
And discover the story of how he took away Jasmine
See, love is my passion and it can make me feel shakey
Hell, it could turn any person from sane to just crazy
But the princess was mine and I cherished it, baby
Naivety soon left everything feeling shady
Because, she told me that lately, this Aladdin had found her
She breathed him in and enjoyed how he drowned her
I couldn’t believe it, but I can still see the pictures
It disgusts me to see how this bullshit just hits her
And suddenly fissures of hate break my patience
He blurs out her beauty, he’s leaving her faceless
Like the rarest of fruit that suddenly becomes tasteless
I’m lost for the words to be said that can save this
And consumed by this hatred that I have for Aladdin
I wish he was here, so I could take him and grab him
Like a brick through a window, take a knife and just stab him
Watch the flames I create as they burn him and bag him
But, as I turn to Jasmine, with these wishes and day dreams
My vision is blurred, but I don’t think she’ll save me
Sometimes bad guys are born not by their own human nature
But by the princess they love and the things that can take her

Notes: No need to remind me that I haven’t posted in two months. This was born out of my own personal need to vent and talk about it with myself, at least.

Windless

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2 years ago
by bangbang023 in

It revs and it revs and it never gets started
The flow never kicks, but I can’t disregard it
When I’m feeling best, this always gets hardest
I feel like a fluke and a floundering artist
Am I just a dude who will always be starless
With nothing to show for and nothing to start it
I look for ignition but nothing can spark it
When this mind’s at ease, I can feel so retarded
Cause I can’t get it started or light up the fire
When this writing is needed and not just desire
When time calls for venting and pressure builds higher
This drug is the goal for which I aspire
But I’m like a tower with crumbling spire
Hope left to waste until everything’s dire
Too late to fix it and no point to try it
The door’s fucking shut and nothing can pry it
And nothing can hide it and nothing can break it
Nothing incites it; I’m not one to fake it
I once knew it all but now I’m mistaken
Nothing is known; it’s hard to keep pace with
And tough to keep patience when everything’s failing
A mind falls to waste while the words lay there flailing
Pain made for sailing but now in contentment
I find too much peace and so much resentment
But I can not vent it or lay down a sentence
I’m like the student who snoozed through the lessons
The spotlight brings tension, I spit out these guesses
A jumble of words that increases these messes

Notes: Just trying to get a few lines written down for the sake of it. I’ve done better, but it’s better than nothing (for me).

Cheap Suture

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2 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Allow me to brush the dust away from this pen
These words are important, so I play and pretend
The way that I mended and stayed til the end
Now the skill is a blur and it’s faded again
Is it fate that it ends? Or am I being stupid?
Is rhyming out thoughts simply silly and useless
I used to use this to settle my fuses
Now fog settles in and I can’t seem to do this
Cause it used to be music, so calming and soothing
Like waves on a flame when the anger was brooding
The hatred was moving even when I was losing
I thought in these rhymes when awake and when snoozing
But I misconstrued it and took all my bruises
The words were my precious, but left me so putrid
If I wanted hope for a bright sunny future
Why waste all the fuel on a cheap fucking suture?
And now I’m the loser and the stitches have broken
Every word wasted was every word spoken
I told the whole world, I told her and told him
I told you, I told me, I put it in motion
And stirred up commotion and left the door open
I wasted my words like a last drop of potion
And now this explosion might be the last for a while
Cause I wasted it all and behaved like a child

World Burned Down

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2 years ago
by bangbang023 in

This is it, I’ve fucking had it and I’m losing my composure
I’m too grown up for this bullshit to be sold upon my shoulders
As I have grown much older and flip back through all these folders
These lines and folds inside the mind that grow as I grow colder
I can see a lonely soldier standing firm like hes a boulder
Unwaivering so patiently while the ashes smolder
He hates to scream and hates to bleed but he has been the holder
Of whatever’s in his head again, those things he hasn’t told her
So, exposure is the path he’s chosen, spilling out my heart again
I don’t have a fucking clue about the middle or the start or end
But before I fall apart again, I will fall back to this art and then
Pour it out onto the page and pray this aging heart will mend
Cause I have felt the scars, my friend, the pain before collection
I have painted every picture as a way to gain protection
From the people who just disagree and make me face rejection
From the very fucking people that have made this rage a blessing
But fuck these games of guessing, I should simply just explain it
That way everybody understands the picture that I’ve painted
I have not come all this way and I have not done all this waiting
To be mixed up in a party of the burned out and the wasted
Cause let’s face it, you had tasted it and become one of the faceless
And I hate it with a passion and the rage that it’s been laced with
And I won’t have any patience and I will not be complacent
I don’t care who might be in the room, I’ll make the whole night famous
Cause these paces that I’m walking, they are energized by passion
Enough to make me stand up to whatever shit might happen
If my actions burn the whole world down and every room you died in
Then I can rest so peacefully and erase what does my mind in

Little Treasure

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2 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Gonna push this harder than ever, my arm is a lever
To crank out these letters, the art and the clever
The scars are all better, my heart isn’t severed
Though sometimes the mind isn’t always together
The hallways get shredded and all that I’ve dreaded
Floods to the front and I always regret it
When the calm in each sentence waivers and withers
And jumbles the mixture and erases the picture
And I’ll say that I’ve missed her and this is expected
Recollection can drown you if you’re not protected
These dealings of love can be crazy and hectic
Though I try my damn best so I don’t fucking wreck it
Cause this is a record and one proud achievement
Fifteen total months and neither is leaving
I love what we have and I need it like breathing
To fight what I hold when it’s me and the ceiling
Laying there feeling so alone and pathetic
I’m sure millions of people would know it and get it
But that doesn’t end it or make it all better
My battles are mine and I’ll wage them forever
Like lost little treasures that sometimes I dig up
Only I know the loot and sometimes I give up
Fuck sticking chin up cause I’m just too damn tired
That fire has expired and I can’t be the fighter
To spark it all right up, to stand up to a navy
On an ocean of tears that can drive myself crazy
Maybe I’m lazy or perhaps I’m a quitter
Just take what you want so I know what to give her

Normalcy

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2 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Perhaps, not yet, but it’s the onset of turrets
An impulse from the chest from all I’ve surpressed
It hasn’t caught yet, but it’s under and on breath
The safest place to be is further than arm’s length
Cause the urge ain’t gone yet, it’s completely conceivable
I can feel it seeping through, the surge is unbelievable
I’ll become the evil dude, the one to stay and see it through
And bring nothing but distress when I really should give peace to you
But I am just the least to you, another broken piece to you
A cog beside a wheel that lacks a little grease to you
I shouldn’t have to preach to you or make a fucking reach to you
You should see the work I do and everything it means for you
So, fuck your little reasons dude and fuck these funny feelings
The ones stealing from the picture and leaving portraits peeling
Envy on the floor again while you’re across the ceiling
I should be fucking proud, but I’m lost and fucking reeling
Concealing what I’m feeling and convinced I’m fucking dealing
It simply isn’t logical, this isn’t fucking healing
This feeling is Goliath and I can not be it’s David
I try to force it out again, but it decides to stay in
And every night and day in, the playground that I play in
Is a minefield of my own and not the safest haven
I wish that I could trade in a cloud or two for normalcy
Cause I truly fucking know that there is something wrong with me

Sing To It

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2 years ago
by bangbang023 in

If I had one last rhyme to write before I passed tonight
I would take out the trash and clear out the past tonight
I was always too fast to fight with both of my parents
Though they never paid attention to what was apparent
So, I would stare and ask myself about the meaning of caring
Could it be inside the pills that were for me without sharing
Could it be inside the beer can and the radio flying
Both took to the air on that faithful night I was crying
And I’m not lying or writing to stir up a commotion
My mind is just running and this helps slow down the motion
Just like the notion of a long distance relationship
It’s a test of will and might and I knew that I hated it
But I fought to just stay with it cause I was too scared of facing it
Until that one faked a rape and then I said I’m not taking this
There’s only pain if I stay with this and the world hurts enough
I never guessed it’d be tough, all this patience and stuff
So, I just played in the rough instead of aiming for fairways
I chose to want the unreachable and fade to the airwaves
I played “I don’t care” phase then sought an escape route
Anyone who got close was fought off with “I hate you”
And I heard “I can’t take you” more than I wish to admit
I would say they didn’t mean it but I would wish that they did
Cause if the friendship was shit, well, then I could stop trying
Go out and buy a forty and lay down while I’m crying
Address the crowd while I’m flying, scribble down that I’m dying
Jot down eight more lines and then pretend that it’s writing
But I was fighting with myself and you know I’m not lying
I sabotaged everything cause I was purposely trying
To make myself hurt for the bad ways that I acted
I was plastered and smashed and sometimes a real bastard
Til the plan that I mastered fell and shattered to pieces
I don’t remember when or any particular reasons
But it’s time to leave it behind and forget every battle
I fell hard off the horse, but now it’s back in the saddle
I’ve been shaken and rattled and tatoo’ed with the scars
That’s why it’s been so hard to let you in my heart
Cause I cover my arm and try to hide all the shame
Even a day a before mending, I was feeding on pain
But if you see me, I’ve changed, even though it still stings a bit
I just rhyme to release it since I can’t fucking sing to it

Never Bought It

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2 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I hate the happy melodies and actually quite seldomly
Do I ever really smile at the happiness they sell to me
And everyone can yell at me and criticize and judge me
But the sum of all the masses will never move or budge me
I guess it’s just that one thing that I never could connect with
Even more specifically when it takes what makes me desperate
And it’s not much of confession when I say, in fact, I miss her
It really should be obvious when looking at this picture
Cause this fixture of my solace only comes so very rarely
Sometimes I make it well enough and sometimes it’s just barely
And I’m fairly, pretty sure enough that if I didn’t have it
The resulting consequence would be comparatively tragic
I imagine it’d be fun, though, if you crave a little drama
Watching someone fall apart as they lose their pride and honor
But this guy who was a goner has done a hundred eighty
Still, the time apart is tough cause I’m never one for waiting
Standing there and pacing and sitting and observing
Analyzing hands of time can be a bit unnnerving
I wouldn’t call it hurting, but a yearning and a wanting
To quell the loneliness I feel, the one that can be haunting
The one that can be daunting, a little tough to deal with
The feeling that I feel when I wish I didn’t feel it
And the only way to steal it is to put me in presence
The girl who makes it go away and to whom I write this sentence

Need a Dose

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2 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Why’s it so hard to sort my thoughts?
There’s smiles and scars, then all gets lost
There’s not one source that’s strong enough
The straw I picked’s not long enough
So it all gets stuck and fades to dust
There’s been no pain; betray my trust
Tell me you love to hate my guts
Just tell me something, make it up
Cause I can’t sit up and pick it up
I try to write but then mix it up
If nothing breaks, can’t fix it up
I don’t have the skill to switch it up
Cause it’s fisticuffs or empty lines
I need the black to flood my mind
I need the red to cull my eyes
I need the pain to dull the lights
I need a dose of all those things
The painful hate and all it brings
It’ll make me write and make me sing
It’ll make me seek to dull the sting
Cause dullness stings and eats at me
It’s boring and can’t preach to me
The fighting is what speaks to me
So, I’ll fight the world or even me

Notes: Very fast paced. It’s meant to be a quick depiction of the feeling and thought, not an in-depth analysis.

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