Posts tagged melanie

I have to find that perfect balance

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I’m stressed and want to vent. If you’re pissed off by what you read, I apologize.

This whole job thing is getting a bit frustrating. After doing a “phone screening” with Citi bank, today, I am now waiting on a branch hiring manager to get in touch with me. While this is good news, in many ways, it also poses a problem: Can I take a job like that knowing that I won’t get to see Melanie more than two days a week, at most?

We’re both at different points in our lives and it’s hard to blend those points together, sometimes. I want to do what’s right for me and make enough money to sustain myself, yet I know, deep in my heart, that I need time with her. Maybe I’m just a stupid kid in love, but it’s what I am.

So, what do I do? I don’t know, to be honest. I’m stressed beyond belief trying to figure this one out. A middle ground solution would be to let the Citi situation play itself out and see if I even get a job offer, but, at the same time, not go back to the position I love at work and stay in the spot I am currently in. I can, probably, work out a pay raise and extra hours from it, though it’d officially be part time and still not like my work.

The problem with that idea is the lack of benefits and I need benefits. I don’t know what to do. My mind is racing a mile a minute and I’m not ready to leave the starting line. I have to figure this gigantic puzzle out and make a major life decision when I’m simply not ready to do so.

I’ve heard your advise. I know what most people will say, so please leave it be. No matter what I choose, people will be pissed off and say I’m wrong. It’s a lose – lose situation and I know it. Lucky me.

Half way there, but not enough

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Well, when an employee quits or gets fired, there’s obviously an open position within the store. As I mentioned in my previous post, a co-worker of mine quit and, by doing so, vacated a full time spot. I decided to apply for it. I got it, but I didn’t. Allow me to explain.

When a store wishes to open up a position for application, they have to go through the corporate offices. Unfortunately, there is a freeze on the hiring of full time employees and the company refused to budge. When I was told of this, I was also notified that they hope to have the freeze removed within a month or two. So, I was presented a decision. Do I wait in my current role and apply when the spot opens or do I take the part time position in the new department and apply for the full time when the chance is given to me?

I did some thinking and talked to a few people, though I mostly talked it over with Melanie. In our discussion, it became clear that I would have a much better chance of getting the full time position if I knew what the job entailed, so it would be much better to use the available part time role as a training for future possibilities.

This is such a tough choice to make. I’ve become an essential part of the machine in my current department. I’m also friends with the supervisor and he relies on me to help keep things moving. I’m leaving that all behind and part of me feels a bit guilty about it. I know I have to do what’s right, but I like being the “go to” guy and I feel a strong responsibility to keeping things moving the way they are.

This is a decision for me, though. I’m doing it and hoping for the best. I’ll go from working with my hands to doing tons of paperwork and researching possibly lost items. The real benefit isn’t in the work, but the possibility of full time pay and the freedom on the weekends to spend time with Melanie and play softball with my room mates. Wish me luck.

Minor changes in life

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I’ve been making some minor changes in my life. I thought I’d share. Lucky you.

Firstly, I’ve decided to let my black nails go. It’s not an easy choice, but I think I’m past that phase of my life, finally. It’s not significant to anyone besides myself, but it is what it is. I’m sure Yogi Bera would be proud of that line.

I’ve also decided to cut all spending for the next two months, at least, as much as I can. After my purchase, and subsequent review, of MLB 2K9, I’m done. I need to start saving again and this is the only way I know how. Melanie has been supportive, though I hope she and her parents can tolerate us going out to paid activities less for a little while. It’s just something I have to do as I struggle to make ends meet. It’s the economy we live in, I guess.

A Look and a Glance

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I take a look at this life and question what it all means
Take a glance through my eyes and for a second you’ll see
That some parts are a dream and the image pristine
While some visions can tear every last stitch from my seams
So, just picture the scene as I can’t make them happy
Two options: Both wrong and yet right, so they trap me
What’s first should be lastly unless I do it that way
Then the last should be first, but they’ll rule it the same
Is their truth just a game to see when they’ll break me?
Do they think I’m ok or do they secretly hate me?
The questions I ponder while the ends aren’t meeting
I work at a job but my mom keeps me eating
Cause this job is a place where hard work gets you nothing
Loyalty, ethics and knowledge should get something
But verbally fronting an act that is hollow
Obtains the reward and the good things that follow
And it’s so hard to swallow, but I can’t do the same
I was taught to work hard; its the way I was raised
I expected my hard work and skill to get praised
But, instead, I get nothing but ignored and betrayed
And all doors are the same whatever my choice is
The silence at work gets mixed in with their voices
I’m simply not right, not allowed to enjoy this
As I struggle inside to find a way to avoid this

My favorite season

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My favorite season is right around the corner. It’s not spring or summer, it’s baseball season.

Ok, that was a little retarded, but, seriously, I love baseball and I can’t wait for the new season to start. I never really got into football or basketball like most other guys I know. I just prefer baseball. It’s a bit more methodical and artistic, in many ways. Plus, nothing beats being at Yankee Stadium when Mariano Rivera comes running out of the bullpen while “Enter Sandman” is blasting over the PA system. It can sends chills down your spine.

Believe it or not, the hype really begins this weekend. The fantasy baseball league that I run, over at Neowin, has its live draft Saturday at 2pm. Then, three days later, MLB 2k9 comes out and both my roommate and I plan on getting it so we can have spend the next couple of months competing like morons. Then, on April 6th, the Yankees begin their season and I will be right here in my room, wearing the Paul O’Neill Jersey that Melanie bought me for Christmas, watching the game in glorious HD. I just serious hope House, Heroes, and One Tree Hill aren’t on that day.

Before I go, I’ll throw out a slightly unknown fact about me. One reason that I haven’t mentioned to many people for loving baseball would be the fact that it also signals the impending warmer weather. I hate the winter. I hate the cold. My skinny ass isn’t built to handle weather like this. The warmer weather means a happier me and I kind of like being happy.

A year of Chris and Melanie

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Today is my and Melanie’s one year anniversary. It’s been a long road, but such an enjoyable and love fill one. There’s no one else I’d rather be with. Regardless of what the world told us, we made it and there’s no one who can stop us. I love you, Melanie, and I want the whole world to know it. Happy anniversary, beautiful.

Melanie punches me in the face…on video!

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We thought were posing for a still image. Melanie was the first to realize it was, in fact, a video and started to dance. I was a little too close.

A very cool mug

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Melanie’s mom had gone to the store and bought two Coca Cola mugs. When I was helping to unpack the bags, I saw the mugs and commented how awesome they were. She said to take one, just like that! Very cool.

Coca Cola Mug

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