Xpression.v2 » disappointment

Whistling and Humming

bangbang023 — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 15:22:39 +0000

This is a conversation that I feel should be avoided
I wish that I was deaf so I could cancel it and void it
Cause right now I’m feeling toyed with and I think I know what’s coming
So I try to drown you out with my whistling and humming
Strumming on my nerves again, the stress can be so cutting
Making me feel stupid, sometimes anything but cunning
While I’m running round in circles, the sadness keeps on budding
And admittedly your apathy can often seem so stunning
As I’m trudging through the trenches, you’re on the concrete running
Never looking back for me, you continue with the shunning
Well, my heart is down and shutting, boarded up and broken
And these words are here for you, they’re your little fucking token
I was open and receptive and I made you all my focus
When the fire kept on dying, it was me who always stoked it
But you asked me for my ticket then you stood there and revoked it
Now this is what I’m left with and instead of feeling hopeless
I will simply stand up proudly and go back inside the flow again
I’ll take this day by day and pray one day you’ll say you know again
But even if it’s no again, I will refuse to fall to pieces
Cause my strength is everlasting, but no pain is ever ceaseless
At least that’s been my thesis but I need someone to teach it
Or someone to open up to me and confirm it when they preach it
Cause I’m sort of feeling sleepless as I do this self convincing
I try to hide my pain from you, I try to hide my wincing

Notes: Not my story

Story of Jafar

bangbang023 — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 17:53:03 +0000

Let me tell you a story and blow it out of proportion
A classical tale flipped around by distortion
I’ll mix in my sound and bounce out a few portions
I’d keep with this rhyming, but every word would be forced in
So, proceeding with caution, I beg you to have patience
You can call me Jafar, so villainous with my hatred
As ink spills on these pages, you’ll come across this Aladdin
And discover the story of how he took away Jasmine
See, love is my passion and it can make me feel shakey
Hell, it could turn any person from sane to just crazy
But the princess was mine and I cherished it, baby
Naivety soon left everything feeling shady
Because, she told me that lately, this Aladdin had found her
She breathed him in and enjoyed how he drowned her
I couldn’t believe it, but I can still see the pictures
It disgusts me to see how this bullshit just hits her
And suddenly fissures of hate break my patience
He blurs out her beauty, he’s leaving her faceless
Like the rarest of fruit that suddenly becomes tasteless
I’m lost for the words to be said that can save this
And consumed by this hatred that I have for Aladdin
I wish he was here, so I could take him and grab him
Like a brick through a window, take a knife and just stab him
Watch the flames I create as they burn him and bag him
But, as I turn to Jasmine, with these wishes and day dreams
My vision is blurred, but I don’t think she’ll save me
Sometimes bad guys are born not by their own human nature
But by the princess they love and the things that can take her

Notes: No need to remind me that I haven’t posted in two months. This was born out of my own personal need to vent and talk about it with myself, at least.

Another disappointment and another shock

bangbang023 — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 21:53:02 +0000

Today was a little rough at work. I came in, as I would any other morning, and began working with my co-worker who had been scheduled along side me. I really didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary to happen. Hell, we even got to work on a planogram, which we haven’t been able to do in months, so I was feeling pretty good about things. Towards the end of the work, the GM came over and asked if he could borrow my co-worker for a few minutes and he’d have him right back. Who am I to say no to the GM? I didn’t think anything of it and went on with my work. That’s when things changed.

About an hour later, I went on my lunch break. After calling Melanie quickly and getting something to eat, I realized my co-worker never came back and texted him to ask him if he went home or if the GM had killed him (jokingly). Not more than two minutes later, I find out he was led out in handcuffs with a police escort. I have no idea what he’s accused of doing, but considering the people who were in the building today, they obviously think it’s something serious. A guy I worked with for 4 years and really grew to trust was now nothing but a common criminal who lied to me and everyone around us. Damn.

I really hope I’m not being too dramatic about all of this. I just feel really shocked by this and extremely disappointed in this guy. The world can really let you down sometimes.