Randomness from an overactive mind
Posts tagged appreciation
First steps of boomeranging
010 months ago
by bangbang023
in journal
After my last post about my anxieties of moving and the new financial burdens I felt I would have trouble bearing, my parents reached out to me and offered me the chance to move back home so that I can get myself back on my feet. I consulted with a few people and, after realizing it would be best for me in terms of long term life planning, I agreed. It bummed me out to make the decision, though, and today, it all became a reality as I’ve started to pack up the few boxes I need to get together.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am very appreciative of the opportunity my parents are giving me. After two years of costly dental procedures, I am no where near where I should be, financially. It’s a burden, for sure, but I’ve been able to get by with my current bills. Unfortunately, the increased bills that would have come along with the new apartment would have crippled me rather quickly and I knew I couldn’t live like that. My parents’ generosity offers me a chance to breathe and truly save for my future. A future that is quickly approaching and one that I’m anxious to get to. That doesn’t help some of the depression associated with moving back home, though.
I’m a boomerang kid. That’s the term for someone who moves out of their parents’ house and then moves back in at a later time, usually due to financial difficulties. The stigma bothers me a bit, yeah, but the change that comes along with this move gets to me the most. I love my current apartment and even the new apartment wouldn’t have come close to this place. The apartment, itself, is also closer to work and Melanie which means I can easily walk to work and get to Melanie within an hour. Now, on days the trains aren’t running correctly, I have to figure out how to get to work. Coming home from Staten Island isn’t going to be a picnic either.
Beyond the traveling issues, comes the privacy issue. I love coming home to an often empty apartment and being alone for a little bit. It’s soothing, especially for someone who works in a very busy retail environment. Home isn’t going to be as peaceful. I’m going to be tested on some days, that’s for sure.
I guess all of this amounts to me feeling a little depressed over the situation. I wish I could afford to continue to live on my own, but the truth is that I can’t and my parents are saving me from inevitable debt. It’s a case of logic and emotion. Logically, this all makes complete sense. Emotionally, I may need some time to realize that.
Moving and it’s inherent stresses
011 months ago
by bangbang023
in journal
For those of you who never ever listen to me or read my Facebook or follow me on Twitter or happen to walk by me on the streets, I’ll be moving out at the end of the month. My roommates are moving back to Queens and there’s no way I can afford my current place on my own or with only one other roommate.
After talking to my best friend Joe, we decided this would be the best time for us to get a place together. We’ve talked about it for years and the timing never worked out. Even now, though, the timing isn’t perfect. He’s stuck in a lease until July and I have to be out by the end of the month. How’s this going to work? It wouldn’t if it weren’t for my parents stepping up and helping me out.
To be frank, I don’t make all that much at my current job and money is always tight. With my share of the rent going up and already threatening to stretch me a bit thin, there was no way I could afford the entire rent for 3 months. My dad came to the rescue, though, and offered to help me out by covering Joe’s share of the rent until Joe moved in. If you just said “wow” to yourself, don’t worry, so did I. It’s a ridiculously nice gesture that I wish I knew how to show appreciation for. Add to that the constant support from my mom and you can see why I love my parents.
It’s still going to be tough until Joe moves in. I’ll have to cover the electric bill, gas bill, and cable bill (the worst of them all) by myself and I’m already freaking out. Money just scares me to death and I dread financially difficult times. I’m going to be super stressed out for the next few months because of it, but it’s something that has to be dealt with.
I’m not sure there was much of a point to this post other than me venting. I can’t write a rhyme about this stuff, but getting it out in words still helps a lot. Thanks to everyone for their continued support and patience in listening to me whine all day long.
Always quality over quantity
02 years ago
by bangbang023
in journal
It’s been a few days since I’ve checked in and I promise I won’t be returning to those extended periods of silence. Something came up, however, and I had to deal with it and the process was very exhausting.
I’ve realized, lately, the importance of friends. I know I’ve always been a bit more introverted than the usual person, but I’ve been coming out of my shell over the past years and having good people around you is key to remaining stable and happy. I guess a lot of it comes down to the relationship I have with Melanie. To be in a relationship, you have to open up and she cracked me a peanut. The rest just comes with the territory, I guess.
High school is a lot like Myspace. The number of friends you have always seems like a big deal and people go for as many friends as possible. There’s always exceptions, but I know most people, when I were in high school, called way too many people their “friends” when they were really just acquaintances, at best. I was no different. Even in my shy and loner ways, I tried to be everybody’s friend and desperately tried to add to that total number. I kept a lot of people around and in my life when all they did was take from it. Things have changed, though.
I’m the first to admit that I don’t have many friends. I’m just not that guy. The few friends I do have, however, I appreciate more and more as time goes on. I’m not going to mention names because I’m sure some people will feel excluded and throw a hissy fit for no reason, but if you’re my friend, thank you. You guys have been immensely helpful as I go through my 20′s and I’d be much crazier if you all weren’t around to keep me in check. Forget dozens or hundreds of friends, I only need a select few good ones and you all fit that bill so well.
Taking technology for granted
22 years ago
by bangbang023
in journal
People my age and younger tend to take technology for granted. This was never made so clear to me as it was this past weekend when I witnessed a simple piece of technology affect someone in a way I never expected.
Leaving out details and such, I witnessed an elderly woman receive a digital picture frame as a Christmas gift. The people giving it to her took some time to pre-load about 50 pictures of various family members and such. As they plugged the frame in to show her how it works, the pictures began to play in a slideshow and she was, literally, moved to tears by it. This is the same technology that I scoffed at, so many times, as I put a number of different models out while at work. It just didn’t seem that amazing to me, yet, here was a woman crying because of how amazing this all seemed to her and how happy she was to be able to see so much family history right there on one little screen. It really blew my mind.
I guess that I sometimes forget to step back and really look at things from different viewpoints. It’s difficult to do so, but a moment like this really opened my eyes to how I need to appreciate the simpler things in life a little more often.
An amazing vacation
02 years ago
by bangbang023
in journal
Well, I’m back from the Poconos and, let me tell you, I had one of the best times of my life.
We did so much while on vacation that it would be difficult to cover it all, but I have to mention a few of the highlights, at least. The first thing we did, as a group, was go river rafting. Now, as you could imagine, not being a swimmer, I was a little nervous about the whole drowning thing. My fears were calmed, though, after getting comfortable on the raft and I had a pretty good time rowing down the river for the 3 mile stretch. It took me a while to get the hang of rowing, but once I did, I was fine.
On the topic of water activities, we also went to a water park later on in the week. Camel Beach is a pretty nice park with the exception of the ice cold lazy river and the Triple Venom slides that left welts all over my back. Even though I’m not a swimmer, there was only one ride I couldn’t really go on, so I had to sit by as Melanie did it. I felt a little excluded, but we did the tube version of that ride immediately after, so it helped pick up my pride a bit. I had a good time, in the park, but the grey skies led to a chilly time that definitely put a damper on the day.
The last major activity was on Friday when we took a hike through the Bushkill Falls trails. There was some breath taking scenery and some fun hiking when we accidentally went off the trail and I had to balance across a fallen log and jump across small streams. The scenery was also gorgeous and I got some great pictures. I can’t wait to see if I can make any decent wallpapers out of them.
We did so much more on the trip that I’m not going to bother going in depth about. There was mini golf and pool time and a jacuzzi among other things and all of it was amazingly fun. I have to thank Melanie and her family for inviting me. It was exactly what I needed and I will never forget it.
If you want to see some of the fun we had, you can check out my Facebook album, Poconos 2009, which contains over 50 pictures from the vacation.
Happy Mothers Day
02 years ago
by bangbang023
in journal
I just want to take this time to wish two people a Happy Mothers Day.
Mom: If it weren’t for you, living on my own would be extremely difficult, with the way things at work have panned out. You’ve been amazingly supportive in every way imaginable and I’m not sure a simple “thank you” can ever capture the true amount of appreciation I have for what you do. Thank you, though, for everything.
Grandma: You’re always understanding and sympathetic and always wind up throwing small snacks my way which are a cherished treat. You also make some amazing mashed potatoes and meatloaf, which is appreciated even more. You’re the best.
To every other mother that I know who has been supportive and helpful, including Melanie’s mom, Cindy, and both of her grandmothers, Happy Mothers Day!