A Lesson on Fire

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3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

This was one of the funniest scenes of The Office that I’ve ever had the privilege to watch.

Nemesis

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3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Your power is confined to this temporary situation
Taste of what is factual hidden in this dissertation
Craving like the darkness for a drink of what’s to spill
Uncaring and so heartless, I am driven by temptation’s thrill

You’ve become my nemesis
As I seek for an end to this
You’ve become my nemesis
And I fiend for an end to it
An end to you

Not a man and never more, nothing but a jester whore
Reality is emptiness and a taste of what’s in store
Chauffeur to the desperate and the villains all the same
A smile doesn’t matter much when the teeth have all been stained

You’ve become my nemesis
As I search for an end to this
And I fiend for an end to it
And an end to you

I won’t beg and I won’t shatter
Silent through what doesn’t matter
Watching as you twitch and clamor
Praying for a sound to stammer
Every demon that’s held dear
Every breath behind your jeer
Mingle til they see the day
When all your angels go away

You’ve become my nemesis
As I search for an end to this
And I fiend for an end to it
And an end to you
End to you
End to you
Little evil messages that will be the end of you

Notes: The music that would accompany these lyrics is heavily inspired by Tool and A Perfect Circle. I’ve been listening to them a lot, lately.

Killed the mobile version

1
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I decided to remove the mobile version of this site.

If you weren’t aware, if you used a cell phone or similar device to browse this site, you would be presented with a cut back version that was designed to make it easier to load and read on small screens. However, with the general public moving towards using full browsers on their mobile devices, it seemed a bit silly to deliver such a bland page. Now, whether on the desktop or a connected mobile device, you will get the same page and the same experience. Don’t worry; my rants are amazing on screens of all sizes.

Decisions made and confusion cleared

0
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Well, I’m just a tad bit less stressed out than I was in my last few posts. I’ve had time to think and, after talking things out with Melanie and sorting through the facts, have figured everything out for now.

In terms of the Citi position, I’ll let that play itself out and see what happens. In the mean time, I’ve decided to remain in the new position at work. I’ve already received a raise for it (almost 10%) and will, hopefully, be getting more hours very soon. If I can get 30% – 50% more hours, I’ll be ok and can, possibly, stop the bleeding of money that’s been going on for the past few months.

The key here is that I’m getting more money and I’m a lot less stressed. It just took a while to sort everything out.

I have to find that perfect balance

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3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I’m stressed and want to vent. If you’re pissed off by what you read, I apologize.

This whole job thing is getting a bit frustrating. After doing a “phone screening” with Citi bank, today, I am now waiting on a branch hiring manager to get in touch with me. While this is good news, in many ways, it also poses a problem: Can I take a job like that knowing that I won’t get to see Melanie more than two days a week, at most?

We’re both at different points in our lives and it’s hard to blend those points together, sometimes. I want to do what’s right for me and make enough money to sustain myself, yet I know, deep in my heart, that I need time with her. Maybe I’m just a stupid kid in love, but it’s what I am.

So, what do I do? I don’t know, to be honest. I’m stressed beyond belief trying to figure this one out. A middle ground solution would be to let the Citi situation play itself out and see if I even get a job offer, but, at the same time, not go back to the position I love at work and stay in the spot I am currently in. I can, probably, work out a pay raise and extra hours from it, though it’d officially be part time and still not like my work.

The problem with that idea is the lack of benefits and I need benefits. I don’t know what to do. My mind is racing a mile a minute and I’m not ready to leave the starting line. I have to figure this gigantic puzzle out and make a major life decision when I’m simply not ready to do so.

I’ve heard your advise. I know what most people will say, so please leave it be. No matter what I choose, people will be pissed off and say I’m wrong. It’s a lose – lose situation and I know it. Lucky me.

Bang On: It’s easy to hate the Xbox 360

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3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

This is all thanks to yesterday:

My first Xbox 360 unit was only three months old when it decided to take its own life. On a glorious day, when I was off from work, I decided to play some MLB 2k7. Maybe my Xbox knew how bad the game was and decided to give me a hand; I couldn’t tell you. Whatever it was, though, the console decided to stop reading any and all media. Neither games nor movies would work anymore. Back to the store I went and home came a replacement.

Xbox number two didn’t fare much better. In fact, it decided that not only should I not play Project Gotham Racing 3, but I also should not get my disc back. The DVD drive simply lost all power. I have no idea how this happened, but there I was, with a screw driver, prying open the tray to get my darn disc back. Another trip to the store was in order and I was already feeling the pain and anguish of knowing I was going to be stuck in this relationship, continually coming back for more abuse.

Read: Full Article

Don’t know what I’m doing

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3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Today, after realizing the new position at work wasn’t going to materialize into a full time spot, I asked them to give me my old position back. It seems as though the change will happen, though nothing is set until it’s actually done.

Why the change back? The new job sucked. I was miserable. Don’t get me wrong, I loved having the weekend off to be with Melanie fully rested, but the complete lack of any kind of satisfaction from my work was maddening. Even in sales, I at least had the customer’s satisfaction to drive me. In this spot, all I have is a piece of paper with my research on it. It’s horrible.

The thing is, regardless of position, I don’t think I can stay at Best Buy any longer. There’s no room for me to move. I’ve been applying at banks, again, in an attempt to land something full time and without a glass ceiling. I hope something works out for me.

Honestly, to say I’m not scared would be a lie. I’m petrified. I should be so much further in my life than I actually am and it bothers me so much. I don’t have much, if any support, for this decision, but I have to do this. I need to find something for me. I need to find the answers that I don’t have.

Letter to a Friend

0
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

You’re the only one who never gets tired of listening
Whether I’m elated or burdened or rebellious and picketing
When the air is there thickening and it’s hard to inhale
You prevail though it all and will not let me fail
Cause this tale can repeat a bit and be a bit stale
My money’s been lacking and my soul is on sale
I’ve been blazing a trail that leads me to nowhere
Though, sometimes, I think the world wants me to go there
Left in the cold where I can start to grow numb
Left all alone there without love or the sun
Just shadows and visions that dance until one
A singular hatred for what’s said and been done
But, in my head, you’re the one who makes it all better
A patch and a stitch can help keep me together
When all hope has been severed, you sew up the pieces
You gather my thoughts and then give them a reason
Like signs for a cause or expressions of treason
You dictate the scene and give it its meaning
When everyone’s leaving, you insist on remaining
Like a break from the cold, an umbrella when raining
Like strength when mine’s waning and air when I’m breathless
Sedation at night when I am nothing but restless
I am never left helpless with you as my friend
A letter from Chris to my paper and pen

It’s going to be a compromise

2
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

The new job, as I’ve quickly come to realize, is going to be a compromise.

One of the great things about working with my hands, in Merchandising, was that I got to see the fruits of my labor as soon as I was done. Whether I was simply re-organizing a display or wiring up tens of thousands of dollars of audio equipment, there was always an immediate reward for my labor. There was something for me to step back from and look at with pride.

In my new position, all I do is verify inventory. Granted, it’s not easy when it comes to doing all the research, but the actual physical counting is nothing but tedious and monotonous labor. Even worse, when I’m done, there’s nothing to show for it except a a few pages detailing what changes we need to make in our stock system.

I’m doing this job in the hopes of getting full time. I keep reminding myself of that. If, in a few months, that full time spot doesn’t open up, I might have to go back to Merch. I’m going to enjoy having weekends off and getting a few more hours now, but I hate this job being a compromise of my overall job satisfaction and happiness.

Two days of firsts

2
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Everything is so new. I don’t like change. I’m scared.

Yesterday, the softball team I’m joining had it’s first practice. We wound up staying on the field for 3 hours practicing fielding and hitting. Sure, one kid had to be taken away in an ambulance because he dislocated his knee fielding a ball, but it was a good enough time for the rest of us. I felt very comfortable playing second base and failed miserably at short (odd, since the positions are so similar). I’m probably going to wind up being placed in the outfield, but I would love a chance to play infield. All I know right now, though, is that I’m sore as hell. I’m so out of shape.

Today was another first. I officially began working in my new position at work. It was a little confusing at first, but it’s just going to be a tedious job. It’s not difficult, just lots of tedious work. I’m not thrilled about the change, but I should be getting more hours and, hopefully, a chance at going full time (finally), soon, so I had to take it. I miss working with my hands, though. It’s just so much more rewarding than verifying stock and researching missing items.

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