poems

Right Through Me

0
4 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Right Through Me (12/26/2007)

Today, the sky was gray, but that’s really okay
When there’s so much down here to put a smile on this face
The place and the time and the sky and these lives
None of it matters and it’s not on my mind
And for a moment I’m fine and loose from the burdens
I’m not angry or sad or anxious or nervous
The purpose of this day was to realize appreciation
And to stick to a path with no kind of deviation
So, hold back the litigation and silence your concerns
Just let me enjoy the high of these words
Warmth and emotion met in someone beautiful
It’s not an every day event. For me, it’s quite unusual
But, really, it can soothe a soul, if only for a moment
I’ll take advantage of the time and hold it while I own it
Cause my focus is set right and I’m free from confusion
This smile’s more than a dream and it’s not just an illusion
And it’s more than a delusion, this happiness is sober
More so when it was, but even past to when it’s over
My shoulder blades are lifted and every weight’s suspended
It’s almost as though my very ways have been upended
Cause I’ve ascended into blissfulness, risen to a smile
If only for a little bit, it’s been a precious while
Freedom like a child and warmth found in the beauty
It’s the most perfect kind of smile that she has run right through me

Two To Share

0
4 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Two To Share (12/23/2007)

So, I’m sick of feeling this depressed
Let’s alleviate this from my chest
Take a gulp and gasp for breath
Now jump right in and go for death
Cause the best way is to never care
Throw one to the world, got two to share
I’ll force my way right through the glare
Until I see you standing there
Then take a second, I’ll take you in
And think about just where you’ve been
And where I’ve gone and what’s within
Then close my eyes and let’s begin
Cause I’m sick of thinking, tired of crying
I’m worn within and scared of fighting
The old me worked, the new one’s dying
If only now, it’s what I’m fine with
I’ll settle for it in this second
A breath of strength will leave me strengthened
These days are long, you leave them lengthened
But I don’t mind you when you beckon
And so I reckon, wait, what was that?
A damn old word and I take it back
I simply love it when you call me
And through this stress, you leave me falling
Into you and through this world
All reason’s lost as this unfurls
One lone guy spins as he twirls
With blackened nails up to the world

Notes: Another fast paced one. I actually wrote it quickly, too. This is just me temporarily leaving behind everything that’s been bugging me and saying “fuck it” to the world in an empowering, rebellious way. It’s simple, but so is the feeling.

Hello, Street Light

0
4 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Hello, Street Light (12/21/2007)

It’s early, the sun’s asleep, but you’re right there waiting
Your unwavering guidance can be so illuminating
Lights for the minds of those confused and debating
We’re talking or thinking or quiet or praying
Walking the pavement streets to our destinations
No step ever falters to this mind’s hesitations
My deliberations that I battle with patience
Are all illuminated by your eery complacence
Your faceless, but famous and without you I’d be lost
You always show me the way, never regarding the cost
Just waiting for the sun to come and give you a break
While I struggle within with everything that I take
And I hate the fact that I take advantage of you
I know not to expect too many answers from you
You’re so simple in ways and share what’s handed to you
Yet, in the hum of your presence, I still demand it from you
And I don’t care if it’s true, I just need to share my dilemma
Of how I got to here and how it needs to be better
The feeling inside that I can never really get her
It’s draining me out, it’s hard to keep it together
So remember that these are my silent confessions
Your guiding white spot light is your own silent message
Thank you for being there, the truest of friends
With the light that you give and the questions I send

Notes: It’s shorter than I had hoped. The imagery for this one came to me while I was walking to work yesterday, thinking about a few things that have been bothering me, lately. I looked up and saw one of the many street lights along the way from the train station to the place I work at and it dawned on me that this very lamp is always there. Maybe it sounds stupid or weird, but this is just based off of that.

Peace Treaty

0
4 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Peace Treaty (12/21/2007)

I’ll sit and hold the anger and hatred
Eliminating traces of hate on these pages
Mistrust, misplaced it, take time and see
That there’s really good down inside of me
Still, I find and see and hear and observe
The facts of the matter, you really have nerve
What I deserve is a chance to explain this
Paint this through, let’s not complicate this
I know you hate this and you see the difference
Multiply by this and divide the interest
Life flies in inches and we’re on the edge
Let’s all step back and let’s talk like friends
Let’s walk the trend, let’s break the cycle
You talk of me in a long recital
I see your point and I understand this
But this backwards talk is underhanded
And I can not stand it, it weighs on me
I say it won’t, but doubts stay on me
Some say I’m mean, but I really care
There’s an olive branch here that we can share
And we’ll greet it bare, with hearts on sleeves
I’m staying calm though it’s hard to breathe
So far I see this doubt in your eyes
Without a chance for me to see why
But you need to see I have pure intentions
I know it’s hard, you and your discretion
But the very mention of the pain that you see
Not in these veins or flowing through me
And I hope that you’ll see behind the rhymes
Inside the mind of the this writer guy
I fight the fight cause I feel it’s worth it
So let’s talk it out and kill the circus

Notes: Not the strongest piece in recent history, but it’s written with a very fast tempo. It’s actually pretty difficult to write this quickly. As for the meaning? It’s about putting down the gloves and asking people who don’t know you to learn who you are before judging.

To My Dearest

3
4 years ago
by bangbang023 in

To My Dearest (12/16/2007)

I need you and miss you and wish I could have you
To feel the embrace of unlimited value
The warmth of the comfort of all that I cherish
The power to conquer and watch it all perish
A faith with no merits, a hand there to guide me
Get high in the knowledge that you are beside me
Where are you hiding and where have you gone now?
I’m feeling so weak, take grab of my arm now
And lift me on up and take hold of my being
Deafen the whispers and blind what I’m seeing
I’m jealous, I envy, I’m caving to pressure
And I need the strength from the one that I treasure
But you aren’t here now, you’re not even close
Every second without you, I lose sight of hope
I take grab of the rope, but it’s only a string
And snaps with the weight of the pressure I bring
As I fall to the sting and withdraw from the light
I need what you bring, I need it to fight
When everything’s wrong and nothing is right
You inspire a strength that can make me alright
You’re perfect, a beauty, a true source of passion
You’re my motivation to stand and take action
Without you I’m nothing and I can not take this
A letter from Chris to my love, dearest hatred

Notes: Just had to get that out. I’m hoping that the ending isn’t what people expected.

Scatter Brained Admittance

0
4 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Scatter Brained Admittance (12/15/2007)

I try to hide the thoughts that are bothering me
But the more that I try to, the harder it seems
I waste away the day completely consumed in it
Running in circles and there’s really no use in it
I hate that there’s truth in it, I’m ashamed of the facts
That I could open the doors and just get so attached
I laid out the tracks, but it’s left me derailed
Unable to change all the ways that I’ve failed
And the pages are stale and it’s all repetition
When I get used to a presence, it’s like an addiction
A recycled affliction that strains every nerve
And makes me believe that the pain is deserved
God, I hate every word, but I’m needing to vent this
I’ve already lost days while I’m trying to get this
In every damn sentence, in every damn image
I see the same thing and the thought is not finished
I’m down and I’m listless and I’m losing my sanity
Lost in the ways of the essence and vanity
Externally precious and the inner’s near perfect
So why the hell do I feel so secluded and nervous?
But, fuck it, it’s worth it, I’ll battle this daily
If it means I can smile and cease with the failing
But it doesn’t make sense and I’m losing my mind now
I can’t shake away the truths that I find out
The horrible facts of the life that I live in
Nothing’s specific and nothing is given
Internal confusion that I carry inside of me
Tucked far away in the man that I try to be
Like gray in the sky to see, I’m behind all the clouds
But the light that I see tends to bring it all out
With walls coming down, an internal admission
That you’re all that I see and I love every vision

Notes: I’ve had a hard time catching a beat to write to, but something’s been bothering me and I needed to vent it out, a bit. I think the lack of clarity in this piece is an exhibition of the confusion I’m dealing with while also being my way of dealing with this personally.

Crucible of Thoughts

0
4 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Crucible of Thoughts (12/8/2007)

I wake to face the thoughts that echo inside
My brain’s the safest place where the process can hide
The space behind my eyes, the chamber within
A mix of love and fear and the good ways and sin
Where ambitions within will meld into catastrophe
And liquefied dramatics, once poured, that come after me
It’s something that I have to see to understand this life
But how do I really know when the wrong things are right?
Cause my sight is subjective when I see what I reach for
The scenario’s been given thought, but I think that it needs more
The battle, in me, stored and hidden from public
I bottle it up whether I hate it or love it
Cause I hate to discuss it when I don’t know the outcome
I’m never really finished when I say that I’m now done
The puzzle continues and plays with me daily
I can never succeed, though I’m not really failing
I just tail it off at the end as I retreat to my mind
To over think it through and lose track of the time
Look at those eyes, though, I love what’s within
Yet, the questions remain when the lines are drawn thin
But the light is drawn in and turns into a spotlight
The heat is intense, but I don’t care if it’s not right
Or maybe I do and I’ll just bite into the bullet
Made from the meld that my confusion’s polluted

Notes: It’s intentionally convoluted. As for the technical aspects, it’s a little rough since I kept getting fucking distracted.

Babbled and Scribbled

2
4 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Babbled and Scribbled (12/5/2007)

Let me address this nonsense and face it directly
You upset me, pissed me off, you think that you get me?
You’re guessing, you get me? You’re angry and venting
Saying silly things to the one you’re addressing
Confessing this truth that will never exist
Take both your wrists right to your lips and sip
Choke on your words while you whine and bitch
I stand behind every fucking rhyme I spit
But I don’t mind this shit cause it’s feeding my fire
Please keep this up and let me know I’m a liar
Ignoring the truth of some dream of yours
I’ll bless my lines while you bleed in yours
And you’ll see these doors, the ones that I’ll shut now
You think that I care, but I don’t give a fuck now
Never really did and never really tried to
I never gave a shit when you thought I’d be beside you
And now I’m here to find you writing your verses
About a guy on a stage when he gets introverted
Making him nervous til he caves in to pressure
And he runs away instead of facing the lecture
But your pace wasn’t measured and your facts weren’t checked out
He left in the night and won’t come back for the rest now
He’s doing his best now and never really looks back
And he doesn’t regret any single thing that he took back
So, pen to the book back and leave to the stage right
I can babble and still win, there’s no sight of the stage fright
You can scribble inane lines, compare mine to the weather
But, when I’m done with my laughing, my rhymes are still better

Notes: Not my best piece, but I didn’t actually want to write lol.

Fight Me

0
4 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Fight Me (11/28/2007)

Fight me, throw your words up to spite me
Light me up in kerosene, ignite me
It’s frightening for me to think what I might be
A little gasoline that’s wrapped up in lightning
And it might seem that I pick every single battle
Like my head is in the clouds, my brain’s a little rattled
Unconscious in the saddle and going in for broke
Quick to find a spark, my pen to find it’s stroke
I draw a line of smoke, so everyone can cross it
Throw your threats at me, it’s funny how you lost it
I’ll emboss it, one of ten ignition sources
Another empty promise, you know you can’t enforce it
Of course this is the way it’s always meant to be
Bitter words from you and then crazy left for me
You can’t get the best of me, you can’t force my detonation
I’ll ignite up when I want to, when I reach my destination
But I have peace and reservations and most of all, control
You can’t even cross my path cause you can’t afford the toll
So take your hate to soul and swallow it and choke it
Find solace in the fact that my skill is what evoked it
Like a fire, I can stoke it, and rupture every artery
I bring it out of you, it wasn’t even hard for me
It’s funny, but so far it seems that every word was empty
Such simple minded hatred will never really get me

Notes: I wasn’t even going to address it, but my friend wrote a poem herself and it inspired me to write my own.

Tears In Our Hands

0
4 years ago
by bangbang023 in

Tears In Our Hands (11//22/2007)

He sits with his hands pressed tight to his face
Tears giving chase and they’re mixed in disgrace
He hates all the change that will never take place
The road’s paved in shame, so bitter to taste
Misplaced and lost in those decisions he made
He knows they were right, but they’re far from okay
He holds out his hands and screams as he prays
Is there someone to listen on this very day?
They say that the good is all that we fight for
But it seems like a game, you must pick the right door
These days that we die for, the people we cry for
And the smiles we fake for the people we lie for
Nothing is worth it, it’s just too much to bear
A cavernous chest is all he has to share
The pleasure is gone, no hope in his stare
So he cries in his hands cause they’re already there

She thinks of the words that he whispered her
It all seemed so real when he listened to her
But this kiss is a blur cause he’s missing to her
Another one lost in this mission of hurt
And it hits on her nerves and crushes her spirit
They all seem the same, she knows it and fears it
She sings it away where nobody can hear it
Her mind is a canvas, but she can not clear it
So, she cries in her hands, the tears flood her palms
The droplets of pain in the absence of calm
She’ll cry it away and then pray that it’s gone
And dry up her hands and say that she’s strong

Notes: I’ve taken inspiration from the lives of people I know and my own life, but it’s meant to be a broader description of the burdens people carry.

Go to Top