The James Bond movie franchise is one of the longest running in history. It’s held a very similar, yet successful, formula for over twenty films. The rights holders, regardless of the success they’ve had, though, decided to change the direction of the famed spy saga a bit with the casting of the current Bond, Daniel Craig. He’s supposed to be more like the character from the books and the movies, themselves, are supposed to be more realistic. There’s only one problem: The new Bond movies suck.

I can’t make any claims here of seeing every Bond film ever made. To be honest, I grew up with Pierce Brosnan playing James Bond in movie after movie and he will always be the guy I picture when the discussion of 007 comes up. He’s smooth, witty, and classy. Call it a bromance, but the guy just has it all, in my eyes. Daniel Craig has none of this. He’s the anti-Brosnan and it’s making me very anti-Craig.

Pierce Brosnan, as every Bond actor before him, captured the essence of Bond so well. He’s a good looking guy who can romance the ladies and, in a suit more expensive that the sum of all the suits I will ever own in my lifetime, kick the living hell out of anyone who dares to challenge him. He looks sophisticated throughout, though, with barely a hair daring to flinch out of fear of his wrath. Daniel Craig, on the other hand, seems to lack that suave sophisticated look of his predecessors. While the guy can undoubtedly kick ass, he looks as though he got into a knife fight with the doctor who tried to cut his umbilical cord. Craig, of course, won, but he took a beating in the facial area, so to speak. It just doesn’t fit.

The big problem, however, doesn’t lie with Craig and his looks. Sure, he looks like the body guard of someone like James Bond instead of Bond himself, but that’s not entirely important when compared to the glaring omission of the semi-realistic and definitely futuristic gizmos and gadgets that James Bond was always known for. The writers have made the series ultra-realistic by removing those infamous toys and, in the process, managed to cut out one of the most entertaining aspects of the series. Pen bombs, remote control cars, laser equipped wrist watches, and submarine cars were not only key to the feel of the franchise, but also one of the most entertaining aspects of it all. You were left with a certain “cool” factor that Daniel Craig’s fists simply cannot inspire. Sure, they inspire some fear, but no one messes with a laser watch.

So, what happened? Jason Bourne came along. The Bourne series of movies grasped everyone’s attention with their mix of fast paced action, espionage, and the entire personal saga of Jason Bourne himself. Somewhere along the line, someone decided it would be great to swap out the confused, somewhat lost character of Jason Bourne with an emotional, somewhat lost character of James Bond and place the good old 007 sticker on the package. Bond is not Bourne and can never be. He shouldn’t be, for that matter. Bond is supposed to be just past the line of believable with his crazy gadgetry, yet close enough to not lose the audience. Now, he just runs around shooting people because he has emotional issues like Jason Bourne. What the hell is that about?

They need to fix the mess they have created with the Bond series, but how will we know when it’s better? The answer it simple. All our worries can be eased with the return of the character named Q. Why? Because he’s the guy that helped develop all those crazy gadgets and gizmos that we all fell in love with. If he’s not back by the next film, I may have to give up on the series entirely. I can deal with Daniel Craig not having the look, but if I don’t get one damn laser and, at least, one pocket sized bomb that is somehow powerful enough to level a city block, I will turn my back and walk away. The most technically advanced prop of a Bond film should never be a damn stock Aston Martin. Ok, maybe we don’t need to get nuts and give it the ability to turn invisible, but give me a rocket or oil slick or something to appease my appetite. Let’s make James suave and resourceful, not a brute who punches doors open just because he can.