It’s a battle that’s been waged in the public arena for years now: Apple vs Microsoft. Now, it’s advertised as “Mac vs. PC”, but Macs are PCs so that nonsense should stop. Either way, though, Apple has been the top dog for a while, forcing Microsoft to back into a corner like a geek with a pocket full of money in the lunchroom of his elementary school. After taking a beating for years, Microsoft finally decided it had enough and launched its own campaign, first flaunting the uniqueness of PC owners and then moving on to how there’s a different PC for every individual out there as opposed to the more “one size fits all” approach that Apple takes. Apple claims that their competition will give you nothing but crashing, viruses, frustration and cancer while Microsoft claims that Macs are ridiculously overpriced, limited in variation, and slightly douchey (I can say that here).

Apples advertisements started it all, without a doubt. You know the ads I’m talking about: You have the cool, hipster guy representing the Mac and a brown suit wearing geek playing the role of the PC. The spots are clever and very noticeable, which every company wants from an ad campaign. The problem is, though, that they are becoming more and more repetitive and lacking any real substance. The gist of any of the new Mac vs. PC ads is the same throughout: The PC will freeze and crash and the Mac won’t. We get it. You’ve made your point. However, besides the one commercial about facial recognition software being in the latest iPhoto, the Mac ads lack any real indication of some of the benefits of going with a Mac. Instead, Apple just keeps screaming “PCs suck because they freeze a lot” until it’s blue in the face. The premise is becoming slightly annoying.

Microsoft’s commercials have really picked up where the Mac ads left off. First, they had the whole “I’m a PC” campaign which was supposed to inspire us all to be proud of using a PC. It wasn’t exactly as successful as the big company from Redmond wanted, but it was cute enough. The current campaign and the one to follow the aforementioned campaign, is the “Laptop Hunters” series of ads. In these commercial spots, we’re invited to tag along as specifically generic people run around town looking for the right laptop for their needs. They all consider a Mac, but ultimately choose a PC since the Macs are too expensive, have small screens, are only about aesthetics, etc. The problem with these commercials, though, is that the people we’re following aren’t nearly as likeable as the characters in the Mac ads. Ok, Lauren was pretty personable, but the others weren’t and toed the line of being annoying and obnoxious. When you’re trying to win people over in an “I’m the cuter puppy” war, you generally want to make sure your spokespeople are likeable. Good old Microsoft: Corporate geniuses who are incapable of appealing, on that level, to the consumer.

So, what’s the point here? If I had to say one thing about these advertisements, it’s that they need to ramp it up. Why? Because the more audacious they are, the more people will whine and moan about every single little detail in every line of the script. For now on, Apple needs to have Justin Long (the guy who plays the Mac) say nothing but “You crash!” for the entire 30 seconds of each commercial. As for Microsoft, they need to pick people who really hit a nerve. The next laptop hunter should be a womanizing guido who says “Hey, oh!” and “You know what I mean?” after every other sentence. Maybe have him slap the saleswoman’s ass once or twice for good measure.

In all seriousness, though, the endless slapping match between Apple and Microsoft is getting a little tiresome. Apple’s advertisements have lost their point and Microsoft is trying to out-Apple Apple. I want the Apple ads to remind me of all the cool, hassle free features available on a Mac and I want Microsoft to stop trying to be cute and just play the mature, to the point role that has won them so much success in the corporate environment. If that doesn’t work, the least they can do is get Steve Ballmer on the air. He’s always entertaining.