Archive for December, 2008
World Gone Gray
Dec 31st
When the world has gone gray and your heart’s in pain
When the world you face is all parts of hate
And when you start to fade cause it’s hard to take
I will take all the dark and the scars away
Cause when you start to say you’re not appreciated
I will tell you “Thank you” for your love and patience
When you read their hatred sprawled on these pages
I will tear them out and help you erase it
Babe, the world’s been jaded by baseless hatred
Hearts are lost in the dark they’re laced with
And some can’t take this, your blissful smile
So, they tear you down and they act so vile
Meanwhile, they find peace while you find tears
They attack with their jealousy, doubts and their fears
But, through all of your tears, I will be beside you
To dry your eyes and place peace inside you
And I will breathe, remind you, that you can escape it
You can find your way to these better places
Your strength’s within and they can not take it
It’s forever your’s, so please be patient
Cause we’ll get away, one day, I promise
I’m right here with you and love is honest
No one can stop this or break you to pieces
I will never let them, they will never beat this
Notes: I haven’t written in a while, so it’s a bit rough around the edges. Then again, I think the meaning is more important than the technical aspects of it.
Merry Christmas
Dec 25th
I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I had an amazing Christmas Eve with Melanie and her family and I’m about to leave to go spend Christmas with my family. Thank you to everyone who got me a gift and I hope the gifts I got you, albeit a little limited by my financial situation, were just as good for you.
On a side note, I’m actually having a merry Christmas. It’s amazing how much my life has turned around since last year. I have a lot of people to thank, but I’m going to save that for the new year.
Which sidebar section do you view the least?
Dec 20th
In an attempt to phase out information no one cares about and bring in new content that may bring in repeat visitors, I would like to ask all of you which sections of the sidebar do you view/use the least? I’ve included all sections except the list of categories, the “Meta” field where you sign in and the links section (have to link to sites to get links back). Besides that, everything else is up for possible removal. Let me know what you think by, at least, voting. A comment discussing the possible changes would also help. Thanks guy and girls.
Loading …Staind “All I Want” Video
Dec 14th
The video is a continuation of the story told in the video for “Believe”. For the uninitiated, this is a mainstream love song that just kicks ass.
I’ve started to actually cook…and get injured
Dec 11th
A while back, you may remember me saying how, due to circumstances out of my control, I would probably have to move back home once the lease on the apartment runs out in March. Well, after talking it over with one of my room mates, we came to an agreement that would allow me to stay here with them. It’s a decision that benefits me more than them, most likely, but they’re happy that they won’t have to move, so we’re all happy.
Anyway, since this seems to be permanent, I need to start saving money and eating better. To accomplish this, I’ve decided to start cooking instead of relying on fast food and frozen meals. These past two days have been interesting. While the food has turned out pretty well, it’s not without cost. Yesterday, while cutting up some celery, I cut my right thumb pretty nicely while not paying attention to what I was doing. I cursed and bled through the first bandaid, but it’s ok now. Today, however, in a stroke of genius, I went to clean the stove after using it and didn’t bother to realize the grill would still be hot. I managed to burn the same right thumb that I cut. I cursed myself out some more.
The lesson here is: I need to be more careful. I’m in such a rush to eat, that I get careless and stop paying attention to what I’m doing. My right thumb is not pleased.
“Jizz In My Pants” Video
Dec 9th
Oh man, this is one of those “love it or hate it” sort of things. If you’re easily offended, sorry lol.
More Xbox 360 issues
Dec 8th
I don’t know what I did to piss off Microsoft, but I wish I could apologize. Ok, so this issue is a lot less severe than an entirely useless console that doesn’t read games anymore, but it’s annoying none the less.
The problem this time stemmed from the new wireless controller that I, obviously, received with the replacement console. Well, my battery (from the play and charge kit), was dead so I plugged it in to charge. Oddly enough, within seconds, the charge indicator light would turn green and the dashboard would report the battery was charged up to 3 bars. That’s nice, and all, except that it wasn’t charged and would immediately die when I unplugged it. To make sure it was the controller, I got out my old wireless controller and, this time, the battery charged as expected.
I don’t know why all of this is happening to me, but it’s getting tiring. I would love to find a way to fix the newer controller. The rubber on the analog sticks is less worn and, thus, it’s a bit easier to aim in games such as Call of Duty.
Is there anything you’d like to see?
Dec 6th
Every now and then I get bored and would like feedback from anyone, in general, about what you’d like to see added or removed from the site. Usually, I get no replies, but I’m hoping that can change this time around. Surprise me. Please.
But yeah, what would you like to see? Anything in particular? Any kind of content or is certain content (like music videos) annoying you and you want it gone? One thing I was considering was removing the recent posts by category on the left and using that for something else (maybe a shoutbox, again), but I’m not sure if people actually use those links.
Give me a clue here, people. I want to make this site interesting, even though it centers around a life that may not always be as such.
Everything Missing
Dec 5th
I am not a fan of this happiness and blissfulness
The smiles on these faces, I’m growing fucking sick of this
Go and try to picture this: Me and all my hatred
Alone in the cold of a sea of nameless faces
And maybe I’m just tasteless, bitter and so jaded
The energy of darkness is bottled up, I saved it
Faking all the patience while I’m building up my energy
I tucked it safe away until I make another enemy
Holding it so steadily, this is my persona
I am filled with tons of love, but I’m also hatred’s owner
With my patience spilling over and pain flooding through my brain
When I’m left here all alone with no one to keep me sane
I guess I’m just the same when I’m left all to my lonely
Do I even have to say it? I think by now you know me
It just eats at me more slowly than the pace at which it used to
Maybe I’m just crazy when I’m facing down this issue
Cause I’m prone to say I miss you more than I should admit to
But she’s the one to keep me well when I only want to hit you
She’s the light to chase the shadows and erase away the blackness
But she isn’t here right now so instead I face this panic
And I’m shaking like an addict, I need to fucking fix this
I’ve always been so screwed up, the anxiety still itches
Cause everything is missing and everything is faded
While I sit and count the minutes, sitting and just waiting
Creatively exhausted
Dec 3rd
My mind is just burned out. I want to write, but it’s taken me a few days to even find the energy and desire to write this journal entry.
I’m guessing most of the brain drain and fatigue stems from the chaos of working in retail during the holiday season. I know the beast well enough. Hell, I’ve been a part of it for five years now. Working Black Friday was exhausting in every way possible and I’m, physically, still feeling it. After all, I lifted televisions no smaller than 32″ for the entirety of my 11+ hour shift. The worst feeling was hitting that physical wall at about 10am and realizing I still had another five hours to go. Combine that day with a lack of sleep over the weekend and you have one brain that doesn’t have the strength to dig too deep.
On top of that, my hours this week have been severely cut and I’m not thrilled about it. It’s happening to everyone in the department and they’re all coming to me for answers, but what can I say? Sure, maybe our supervisor should fight harder for the hours, but the fact of the matter is, the over night team is burning through money like there’s no tomorrow and, because of that, our budget keeps getting tightened. It’s a shame no one else wants to see it besides the people having their hours cut.
Other than that, I really don’t have much to say. I want to write. I just need to find the energy.
