Archive for October, 2008

The dream may be ending too soon

1
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I don’t want to get into all the details, but it looks like I may have to move back home when the lease on the apartment runs out in March. I just won’t be able to afford it at that point and I can’t continue to bleed money like this.

It really sucks, to be honest. I like being out on my own. It’s peaceful and responsible and just brings about a great sense of pride in myself. Coming home from work to MY apartment (well mine and my roommates) and having to do things on my own just really made me feel like I was doing what I should be doing. Now it has to end. This sucks.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll come across more money or maybe we’ll all find a more affordable place, but I’m pessimistic. I like the privacy and the peace and quiet I have here. I’m going to hate to see it go.

Whatever Fits

0
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I’m so fucking stressed out that I think I want to cave in
Just give to the world what’ll otherwise be taken
Fuck trying to be patient in this fucking situation
I’ve reached a certain point, a point that leaves me breaking
Because money is an angel that is only sent from satan
Few people see the agony that every bill’s been laced in
But face it, it is only used as a persuasion
Who needs motivation when you have this inner hatred?
And now my mind is racing, my heart is out of rhythm
Some people see my face and just wonder what is in him
Did reality just hit him like another ton of bricks?
Did we finally get through to him and bring his world to shit?
Well, this is it, I have had enough of this insanity
I’d rather die in flames then drown inside the tragedy
If this is how it has to be, if I wind up by my lonely
Before I lay to rest I will make sure that know me
And then you can hold me in whatever light that fits
You can say that I was strong, you can say I was a dick
You can use my grave to spit because I took you with me
Ignore that I was stressed and had nobody there to fix me
But if one day you are sifting and you come across this paper
Please read it ’til the very end then read it over later
See I’m not a hater but a guy who needs to understand
That someone will always be there no matter where I stand

Notes: Cleaned it up a bit. Still not perfect, but at least it’s something after a month of nothing.

Major writer’s block

0
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I have a seriously bad case of writer’s block. I haven’t written a poem in over a month. The problem? Unless I want to write love poem after love poem, I have nothing else that I feel strongly enough about to actually motivate me enough to sit down and write about it. It’s driving me nuts, to be honest. I want to write. I love writing. What am I going to do?

I’m trying to get a few ideas together to see if maybe something starts to gel, but I can’t promise anything. I hate writer’s block.

Happy birthday to me

2
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I’m 25 today. Yikes.

It’s such a weird feeling. No, not being a quarter of a century old, but how much my life has changed over the past year. I’ve fallen in love with an amazing girl and I’ve moved out to give life on my own a shot. None of this seemed fathomable at this time last year. Who would have known?

Anyway, I want to thank everyone who’s been a help to me or just a good friend: Melanie, Mom, Joe, Diana, Priscilla, Josie, Omar, and Justin. Thanks for everything.

On a closing note and a nice little fact: This is the first birthday I’ve looked forward to in a long time. Thank you to Melanie for that. She’s helped me turn my life around immensely and for that and so much more, I love her.

Happy Birthday, Mom

0
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

A happy birthday to my mom. She’s helped out a lot since I’ve moved out and it’s immensely appreciated. Thank you, mom.

The Offspring “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” Video

0
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

The song is absolutely kick ass and the video is decent enough. Someone explained it on Youtube saying that it’s about a guy given natural talent who decides to waste it and exploit it in the pursue of money. I don’t know why I couldn’t see that myself.

I’m That Guy

0
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I’m not much of a writer, not much of a friend
I can’t sing for anything, I do not have strength
I am just a dreamer, but I have no dreams
Just damn hesitation and a lack of all means
I was nothing…
Just nothing at all
But now I can see…

I am playing with words and I’m toying with melody
Picking up thoughts that just suddenly fell on me
I was that guy who was lost in the world
But now that I got you…
I’m the guy who got the girl

I had waited for days and I counted them all
I was drinking and cursing and rushing my fall
I wanted you so bad, saw this was my chance
To find what was missing, to hold someone’s hand
I was nothing…
Just nothing at all
But now I can see…

I am playing with words and I’m toying with melody
Picking up thoughts that just suddenly fell on me
I was that guy who was lost in the world
But now that I got you…
I’m the guy who got the girl

One more chance
Was all I wanted
A chance to be happy
Right there I saw it
I was that guy and you were that girl
Suddenly finding ourselves in this world
And now I see..

I am playing with words and I’m toying with melody
Picking up thoughts that just suddenly fell on me
I was that guy who was lost in the world
But now that I got you…
I’m the guy who got the girl
I am that guy
Who one day got the girl
I am that guy
Who one day got the girl

Notes: An acoustic song. Think along the lines of a song like “Hey There, Delilah”.

Sick of the presidential candidates

2
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I’m sick of them both. Can someone just hit the mute button?

John McCain. The guy is a tad on the old side and will probably wind up getting lost in the white house as he’s looking for a phone to call his friend, Joe Plumber. The guy will also, probably, wind up blowing a Middle Eastern country off of the map if someone over there sneezes the wrong way. The real problem with him, though, isn’t him at all. It’s Sarah Palin. Have you heard any of the debates? At least McCain tries to answer the questions before failing miserable. Palin just skirts around the questions like there were cones on an obstacle course. You know energy, we get it.

Barack Obama. Excuse me, but everyone needs to get off this guy’s dick. He has almost no experience. Granted, this lack of exposure may help him be a bit more pure of heart, but it also means he hasn’t handled many real problems. Also, let’s face it, he’s a politician, so how pure can he be? I’m sure he’ll do great while thanking everyone before he speaks. Oh and we get it, Bush is evil and McCain is just as evil because he’s Republican, too. We can’t skip over Joe Biden, either. The guy is a nut job, on his own. To make it worse, when he speaks, he uses the same old rhetoric that we’ve heard for years and years. I’d like to know what goes on in his head, but I’m actually too scared to truly want to find out.

This has been another early morning, “just woke up” rant brought to you by someone who cares sometimes.

I want to write a poem

0
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

I really do want to write a poem. I love writing, but my inspiration is shot to hell. I’m content with life, now, and while I would never give it up, it also means I am going to have to start finding different sources of inspiration if I want to put out anything other than love poems.

It’s a weird catch 22: If I am miserable, I can write some really good material and really pump it out consistently as I try to work through it and find happiness. When I find that happiness, however, my writing suffers greatly. Is there a balance between the two that I can find or am I too emotional of a writer to ever really find that perfect blend of happiness and personal success with my writing?

I hope I get something out, soon. I’ve tried a few times today with an idea I had a week ago. I should have written it then, but I was pre-occupied and never took the half hour to type it out on my phone. I should have. It’s a good idea, but I lost that driving motivation and emotion that I had about it when it first struck me. Damn me.

Weezer “Troublemaker” Video

0
3 years ago
by bangbang023 in

This is the video for Weezer’s second single, “Troublemaker”, off of their red album. Kick ass song and pretty simple, yet cool, video.

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