Scared of Hope
Scared of Hope (4/10/2008)
It’s really been a bit since I’ve put logic in this nonsense
With mind control to prop this, no emotions there to block this
Just talking while I’m conscious and completely in control of it
Not letting my frustration completely get a hold of it
But really, there’s the whole of it that tends to mix in feelings
The part that leaves me kneeling with my hands up to ceiling
Peeling through the layers of the darkness she’s been stealing
Honestly, I’m so afraid of the light that seems appealing
Cause this feeling is so powerful, it leaves me feeling open
It’s a lot to hold that trust after always feeling broken
And letting all this hope in can seem a little scary
When others have abused it after claiming that they’re caring
And doubt can be so tearing as it ripples through the mindset
There’s no reason to be scared, the pain hasn’t turned to mine yet
But if you asked for my guess, there’d be nothing I could say
Cause I can only pray that she’ll be there for every day
Cause I really love the way I’m so strong in all this weakness
I tend to doubt myself as I gather all the pieces
The agony is ceaseless until she’s right beside me
Then, suddenly, I’m stronger and I could beg the world try me
And, yes, that’s fucking frightening to recognize reliance
I hate to just admit it, but I need her for this vibrance
Should I struggle in this silence or make a soul’s confession
That I need her for this happiness, the road, and my direction
Notes: It’s about being scared of this wonderful thing that I have. What may seem as a lack of trust or lack of faith, is really just a fear of the unknown.
Filed under: Poems