Expectations
Expectations (2/18/2008)
I’m in this situation and I don’t know what I’m doing
I wear a mask of confidence, but I don’t find it soothing
It’s moving to hear her voice and then I see her picture
The image, like a fixture, every time I feel I miss her
But as the scripture of my life, there’s chaos in this mixture
A million complications that are growing to this fissure
I only want to give her everything she’s ever needed
But I’m scared to get addicted to this feeling of completion
I have a hundred pieces, these shards of broken promises
And knowledge of the memories of everywhere I got with this
I was honestly quite shocked with this when I came to see it
Reality has reasons, but I guess I don’t believe it
So, I seized the opportunity, well I guess that’s just a lie
Admittedly, I fought with it, and tried my best to hide
I prayed the restful tides would make me realize
That I had to flip the switch, for the sake of both our lives
But in the face of hope and pride, I couldn’t make the choices
In reality, I chose this, and there’s no way to avoid this
I just have to shun the voices of doubt and condescension
Enough to let her through so I can talk about intentions
Cause I hold on to disgression, but I need to say it candidly
There’s confidence in hoping that you’ll be understanding me
That I really want to hold you and I want to make it perfect
I just want to take it easy, ’til we both know that it’s worth it
Cause we’re living in this circus, and the roads of past are broken
Unsure of where we’re going, but silently I’m hoping
That I’ll be the best for you and I’ll meet your expectations
And maybe, for a moment, we’ll forget these hesitations
Notes: It’s about the nervousness of being exposed and unsure if you can live up to the expectations a special someone may have of you.
Filed under: Poems