Stuck In Idle
Stuck In Idle (2/8/2008)
It’s kind of hard to think straight after reading your message
You would think through experience the pain would be lessened
But I’m always left guessing, with these thoughts in my mind
If it will ever be worth it or should I kill what’s inside
Cause this pride that I have is not immune to these beatings
Before it collapses beneath the weight of these feelings
You were stealing my breath away, now you’ve taken the reason
Maybe it’s dramatic, but the warmth’s turned to freezing
It’s not easy to open up to the world that’s been leaving
My nerves have been seizing up, I need liquor and bleeding
When the hope is left fleeting, I need to drown it right out of me
And let the haze of the memory just sit and weigh down on me
Cause this shit will stay bound to me, it’ll inspire my writing
But the words aren’t enough to just retire my crying
It’s like the higher we’re flying, the greater our fall will be
So, I’ll try to wash it away and you’re invited to fall with me
Cause nothing is all I’ll be and I’ll do it so perfectly
With a finger to the world and everything that’s been hurting me
Fuck walking so nervously with my heart on my sleeve
I’ll just swallow it up the more and harder I bleed
Cause it’s getting harder for me to be pleasant and cheery
When pain is the only thing that stems from those near me
It always turns bleary before I collapse under pressure
So, save all the bullshit, your compassion and lectures
Because every action is measured and mine can be spiteful
I’ll destroy what’s in me, every heart beat and mindful
I’m the guy stuck in idle with his hand on the kill switch
And there is nothing else out there that will easily fill this
Filed under: Poems