When You’re Ready (1/27/2008)

I know that I am strong, but sometimes I need a rest
A place to lay my head and a warmth inside my chest
I’ve given, more or less, from every fiber of my being
I’ve held on to the words, but they don’t match what I’m seeing
Your lips move in ways that I simply do not understand
Confusion shatters every dream of what I had never planned
Now, I can not feel your hand and I can not see your face
Cause you left me here alone as you quickly pulled away
And I hate the way this feels and I hate it’s in my writing
It kills me to admit that I’m praying I’ll stop rhyming
Maybe if the words stop, then so will all my thinking
Every letter holds a weight and I can’t take what it’s bringing
But it’s ringing in my head, I hear the past that I hold singing
A history of patterns that would illustrate the pinging
I’m swinging on the edge and I’m giving up on balance
You would think it’d be the same, you would think there’d be a callous

I’m so sick of writing pain and I’m sick of all the anguish
If I had the magic words, all this shit would be left vanquished
Left behind to fade in a past, forgotten day
Where memories are broken and just left to rot away
So what’s left that I could say? Words I’ll say directly
I would be the best for you and you would be the one to get me
From the very day you met me, I knew it was important
The past all fell away: All the pain and those I fought with
The confusion that you call this, you can say you’ll never know
But I already do and I will always let it show
Every ounce of confidence that’s ever hit my blood stream
Tells me I should be the one and tells me you should love me
It tells me that I’m strong enough and tells me that I’m lucky
It also tells me readily that simple doubts are nothing
I could be the best for you if you would ever simply let me
And all you have to do is take my hand and say you’re ready

Notes: I just need to figure out a way to prove it to her.