Xpression.v2

My Source (1/6/2008)

I have so much to say but no place to say it
Some take offense and some just can’t take it
Some of it’s nice and some’s laced with hatred
But, most of it’s love spread on these pages
And I’m practicing patience, I’m biting my tongue off
While asking just what I have possibly done wrong
I listen to dumb songs and immerse in these thoughts
Remembering smiles, but it hurts that we lost
The spark that we had, the one moment of bliss
When I wasn’t afraid, I was brave like a kid
Forgetting the world and conceding to beauty
Wait, take a breath, I know what I’m doing
I’m not here for guilt, I’m not writing agenda
But last night was tough, my heart’s in the blender
And I need this to think and then write it away
Or at least jot it down and somehow right the pain
But I’ll remain strong, I will bleed from my lips now
Holding back words with the fear that they’ll slip out
It’s against my own nature, but I’ll do what I have to
‘Til it’s all purged away and allowed to just pass through
And then if I have you or at least your attention
I’ll lay it all out, but with care and disgression
This hyper retention of thoughts can consume me
But I’m determined to win, the source can be soothing
Cause it all stems from you, this blanketing blurring
Vision’s obscured, but the world keeps on turning
I’m stronger than shown, I’m tougher than thought
I’ll exhibit my strength, to you, my own source

Notes: I’m hoping it exhibits the calm, determined exterior I’m trying to maintain while, perhaps, beneath the surface, things are a little more chaotic.

Filed under: Poems