Please Believe Me
Please Believe Me (12/31/2007)
I’m like a little boy sometimes, just screaming for attention
I force you all away from me, but really want retention
I sit alone right here tonight with tears upon my eyes
For the world I never see, because of everything I hide
And as I’m breaking down inside, now I’ll cry it out for you
How every single step I make is filled with doubt right through
I hate the silence of my mind in this room that’s closing in
I want to fall asleep sometimes and hold it all within
But the truth of all the facts is that I’m simply scared to give in
I cry, but dream a million things and pray that they’ll be given
But I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m losing all ability
To control the world right now and it’s slowly fucking killing me
I want to wash it all away, I need to go escape it
I need to know just what I have and then appreciate it
The only thing that’s good right now is what I’m most afraid of
Attachment to a person, hell, some would even say…
I think you get the picture, I’m so fucking sick of this
I’m always running blindly and my luck’s so fucking thin
I really need the anger and the walls I used to hide in
I’m way too fucking open and it feels like I am dying
Barely breathing as I’m crying while pounding at this keyboard
I hate what I’m afraid of and I hate that I can’t be sure
Fear is leaving me sore and secluded from a beauty
The smile on the face of the girl that’s run right through me
And here’s the part where strength comes in, I’ll take another stand
I’ll fight my way right through this, I’ll make you understand
I really am the man I say and the one who could protect you
The friend who’s there to help you out and never to upset you
I’m the guy who’s weak but strong enough to manage when you’re crying
The one who likes you so damn much, the truth’s in what I’m hiding
I’m more fucked up than most of them, but I’ll try my very best
To prove to you and everyone that I’m stronger than the rest
Cause even if my chest is hurt and even if I’m doubting
Even if the fear is here and I’m crying cause it’s shouting
I’ll fight my way right through it to be there when you need me
I just need you to see it and I need you to believe me
Notes: There’s two sides of this. First, it’s just that I stay so closed that when I finally open up, all the shit comes pouring out and usually ruins everything and forces me to close up again. I want to end it this time. I want to control the flow so I can keep something good and not screw it all up as I always do. Secondly, it’s about asking a certain person, but also people in general, to believe me that I’m strong. Sometimes, you just need someone to believe in you. Do they?
Filed under: Poems