How To Word It? (12/31/2007)

I don’t know why I’m writing, I lack the rhyme and reason
Who knows? Maybe it’s these feelings or maybe it’s the season
We’re sitting here and freezing, but I never really feel it
I just pray it never ends and that reality won’t steal it
Cause I feel it my chest as I expose to you my heart
And everything begins when you glance upon my scars
The alarms in my head that tell me I’m addicted
And there’s such a chance of pain, but, still, I want to risk it
Cause I’m sickened of the way that I always used to be
I’m trying to move slow, but you’re flowing now through me
You’re up and down through me, I’m devastated, but I’m lifted
Everything is spinning and I need to try and sift it
But I simply can not fix it cause I can’t believe it’s broken
I fell long before I said it, before we both had spoken
Was it really better hopeless or just see the dream and grab it
And hold it next to me through the happiness and sadness

God, it’s tragic to think of the time I spend here thinking
Thoughts of you to lift me while the real world leaves me sinking
I’m afraid to even kiss you, but temptation always hits me
I love it when it does, but I pray you’re right there with me
And I hope you understand that the slowest pace I’m crawling
Is done so for a reason, to help us both from falling
If everything was perfect, I’d forever taste your lips
If everything was perfect, you’d stay with me like this
If everything was perfect, I would be with you right now
Another year has passed, but our lives begin right now
There’s so much left to say but I don’t know how to word it
Except for me to say that you’re amazing and you’re perfect

Notes: The flow is kind of broken at points, but I needed to sort my thoughts a bit, anyway. I think part of it is contemplative about a situation while another part is me being apologetic for maybe moving a little more slowly than is wanted of me.