Taken By Hesitation
Taken By Hesitation (11/4/2007)
Another day, another thought, another doubt about tomorrow
Yet another day to carry apathy and sorrow
My life feels like it’s borrowed, the path’s not even mine
But I walk along the line because I’m scared of either side
While these questions flood my mind and burn behind my eyes
Am I going through the motions while I’m standing here in time?
I need a simple sign to guide me to the light
And redirect the circumstance that’s become my life
I want to do what’s right, but I tend to do it wrong
I fall because I’m weak though I fight to keep me strong
The battle’s much too long and it’s all become so blurry
I’m never heading anywhere, but I’m always in a hurry
I don’t know what I’m saying, I’m just speaking off the cuff here
I hate the life I live, but I feel secure enough here
The direction won’t become clear if I choose to stay in safety
I pray to beat the fear, but the hesitation takes me
It holds me down and breaks me and really aggravates me
This struggle isn’t worth it if there’s nothing there to save me
I wish the world would hate me so I could do it all in spite
I know it isn’t right, but would anger fuel the fight?
Honestly, it might. It could spark me ’til I light
Like a pilot light at night with a gas leak in the line
Everything seems fine when I’m out to prove I’m better
But the reasons aren’t right and it’s hard to keep together
Between writer’s block and haziness, this is what I’m thinking
I’m not trying to be confident when pride and faith are sinking
The warning lights are blinking with every day that passes
The rope is being pulled away, it’s beyond my reach to grab it
And I see the the signs of hazards, the need to fix these choices
But, it’s hard for me to think when my thoughts all have their voices
A thousand and one noises that bounce inside my cranium
I waste another day in my efforts of evading them
Filed under: Poems