I know what I want
Some people call it stubbornness. I prefer to call it, in this case, a clear understanding of what I want and refusing to deviate from that course.
There’s a reason I like to work alone. I’m a firm believe that too many spoons in the pot winds up spoiling whatever the hell you’re trying to cook in a large pot. When I get an idea in my mind and I believe my course of action is the best, I want to stick to it, regardless. That may sound obvious for any person, but I’m really insistent on my way. Perhaps it’s a flaw, but I just often get that gut instinct to stick to the plan (or, sometimes, lack there of).
At Neowin, there’s a lot of cooks. Working on two projects (the Neowin Community Game Awards and NeowinCAST News Edition), I tend to run into the “too many cooks” issue too often and it can be frustrating. Last year, we didn’t have the Community Game Awards, at all, because I simply got fed up with everyone throwing out these outlandish ideas that took the scope of the awards out of the general area I had envisioned. I was realistic and knew that their plans for a much larger process simply wouldn’t pan out. Sure, the awards are back this year, but I had to state from the get go that it’s my way or not at all. It shouldn’t have to be like that. It should be understood that I understand the limits of my own projects and wish to stay within the realm of possible.
Now, as the NeowinCAST returns and gains ground again, people are starting to poke their heads up and it’s infuriating. Ideas from a larger cast team to multiple versions of the same show for various software applications are just completely out of the bounds I fight to keep in place. I have no delusions of grandeur. I know this is a small weekly show and that, being Rob and I volunteer, keeping the process as simple as possible means it’s more likely we’ll have the time to stick to the weekly schedule. Why don’t people understand this? I explain it and it seems to go over everyone’s heads.
I just don’t know how long I can maintain my patience. It’s this kind of crap that makes me want to say “fuck it” and let everyone else do it on their own.
Filed under: Journal