Xpression.v2

House of Horrors (10/29/2007)

It’s just not every day you find magic and rape
It’s tragic to say that it just happened today
Back in that place, with Mr. David Copperfield
He took me to an island and then he tried to cop a feel
I ran to try to stop the deal, I need to get away man
I’m not a sexy blonde girl, but Davey is a gay man
So I ran and saw a car and waived it down with both hands
I got into the seat and realized it’s Lindsey Lohan
Oh man, she’s doing coke and driving crazy
I think she’s gonna kill me, the windshield’s kind of hazy
My fucking heart was racing as I chose to tuck and roll out
She stopped and hit reverse with intentions of a mow down
I yelled at her to slow down, but then right out of nowhere
A godess came and hit her as if there was a road there
Oh yeah, there’s one fact I didn’t mention
It was Paris fucking Hilton with a license on suspension
Her innocent intention? To put her Lambo into park
But now there’s Lindsey Lohan all splattered on her car
She motioned with her arms to express dissatisfaction
She wasn’t even drinking and still this bullshit happened
And while this bitch was yapping, I turned and ran like crazy
Bumped into Britney Spears giving birth to one more baby
She was texting Kevin Federline when suddenly it popped out
I think he gave her more in hopes that she would stop now
But like a little retard, she had no little instincts
She dropped the baby twice cause he wouldn’t say what he thinks
And now she’s in a g-string searching for affection
Please put on your clothes, observe and learn your lessons
I’ve had enough of messing with every star and starlet
I need a stable lady like Johansson comma Scarlett
In my little house of horrors, you’re welcome to delusion
Where camera flashes twinkle and drugs are the solution

Notes: Technically, there are some hiccups in the rhyme pattern, but this one came to me at work and I just wanted to write it to have some stupid fun. I’m pretty sure someone reading something like this, without knowing me, would think I’m on some really good drugs, but I’m not.

Filed under: Poems