Recast Me
Recast Me (8/30/2007)
Insurmountable demons that flow through the blood stream
Trust me, these acid bastards don’t love me
They thrust me into the wall and they fuck me
Corrosive in nature, always thirsting and lusting
Now I’m busting out and tearing through my own seams
The screams, it seems, can penetrate my dreams
Left to fiend for the thing that eats me
Old habit, fall back at it, and let it beat me
As I let it sweep clean and erase all the progress
It’s nonsense, I wish to terminate this project
But not yet as these chains tear my veins
Bound by the fabrics that keep me insane
And I’m a slave to way that I feel so afraid
So I stay in place and let your face fade away
Today, I thought I’d know what to say
‘Til I swallowed the silence and let thoughts fray, decay
And the day stayed the same as a thousand odd others
I’ve discovered that I always portray the same colors
Black and gloom and gray sprays the panes
A frame full of hate to be taken away
And I will hate me today, but tomorrow’s another
A new chance to stand tall and recast my color
The past is a stutter, one false, broken start
And I will take it apart and let hope stroke my heart
And I will uphold the part the keeps me here breathing
To unfold the scars that leave me here screaming
It’s a work in progress to recast the mind set
I hope I can solve this, though the goal isn’t mine, yet
Notes: On the technical side of things, this is one of my best pieces in a while. As for the subject matter: I should have called her today and invited her over. I waited too long and wound up falling asleep. I’m disappointed in myself and pretty pissed off about it, but I know I have to remain optimistic that I can over come my issues over time. Yeah, I’m being optimistic. I told you I was taking these changes seriously.
Filed under: Poems