Searching Through The Light (8/27/2007)

Another morning greets me with these bags beneath my eyes
My feet hit the ungrateful floor, the light penetrates my mind
I let out a dreary sigh and convince myself to do this
To drag myself into the world and pray the day will soothe this
But damn I feel so stupid, I put myself in this position
I’m already twenty-three and I’m swimming in contrition
A little optimism’s what it says on this prescription
I know her words are innocent, but why’d I choose to listen?
And as I ready for this mission, I’m filled with many questions
I repeat the thoughts inside myself and take in these suggestions
Slowly reading through this message, while I’m staving off this tension
I pray her words will penetrate and allocute retention
And allow me to dispense with the fright that leaves me frozen
A prompt to show me where to lean and balance what I’m holding
I’m performing without knowing and it hangs on every fiber
The new me yearns to taste her while the old me wants to fight her
But that shadow is so tired and that path’s become too hopeless
So, now I stand outside the shell to understand what’s broken
Her intuition holds me even when she sits in silence
I guess a light of any kind is a needed self reminder
So I dream to spark the fire, to kindle what I search for
I try to lay down on the line and take the risk that’s worth more
Another work in progress in a world of many theories
I want to say just what I want, but I’m scared to say it clearly
And I care cause she can’t hear me, is this microphone still working?
I hope there’s someone in the crowd that still believes I’m worthy
Is there anyone observing? This light is very blinding
The perfection I am searching for is right out there, just hiding

Notes: I’m worried that this one is more cliche than I expected it to be, so I’m not even sure it’s worth saving. I just wanted to subtly depict how I feel like the spotlight is on me because of all the change I’m trying to obtain. Meanwhile, with all those eyes on me, I’m just hoping she’s in the crowd, taking note of my effort.