Broken Valves
Broken Valves (8/14/2007)
It’s hard to sit back and deal with my emotions
I’d rather stay wrapped and sit here and hold them
But when the walls crumble, I end up so frozen
And drown beneath the weight of this invisible ocean
The centrifugal motion pins me to the floor now
I can’t mutter a word, I can’t get anymore out
I can’t move my legs, I can’t get to the door now
I just bask in the heat of whatever’s been drawn out
Some say settle the score now, but I’m seeking compassion
I just yearn for a smile from whatever may happen
I felt so alone until somebody took action
As I watched every brick get blown into fractions
The barrier crumbled, an automatic reaction
But should I have let it? Too late, it just happened
My wheels are spinning, will I ever get traction?
I like the addition, but still dread the subtraction
It’s a special reaction, but I wish to control it
I’ve been open before and been left dead and soulless
She will never be told this and nobody will read it
An anonymous cry from a guy who’s been beaten
You see, I really don’t hate the feeling
I just can’t close the valve to keep me from screaming
The bottle’s full, yet I’m still not depleted
A past that was trapped is a shadowy demon
But I’m fighting it bleeding and giving it my shot
That smile is a dream worth everything I got
I’ll wage the battle ’til the rest of my mind stops
Then turn right around ’til both of our eyes lock
Notes: I’ll be candid here. This morning I woke up a bit disappointed that plans fell through yesterday and things just haven’t gone exactly as I have wished. It really weighed on me and I realized that I’ve gone from almost no emotion to a sudden rush in a very small amount of time. It just seems like with all of the good emotions, the dark ones that we all try to keep inside came pouring out, too. The thing is, I’m determined to not let it get the best of me. Something this good comes around rarely, if at all, for some people and I’m not going to let my, well whatever it is, get in the way. I have nothing to lose and a lot to gain. I’ll keep trying and falling on my face as much as I need to.
Filed under: Poems