Road to Our Discussion
Road to Our Discussion (6/22/2007)
Every fucking sentence is wasted, I feel brainless
Am I really such a writer if I never can sustain this
I wrote to be left painless, but now the painting’s paintless
Have I lost it all again? Please cut me to regain this
I don’t do it to be famous, it’s a hobby and a center
Every other letter works to make me feel much better
I keep it all together by rhyming it forever
But I need to catch a beat before I’m left here feeling severed
I pulled at all the levers and I think I found right one
Suddenly this surge just makes me want to write one
I stumble every now and then and some of it sounds cheesy
But the writing is my everything, my writing really needs me
It helps me and it feeds me, I supply it with experience
I give it all my heart ache for some guidance while I’m steering it
The windows that I’m peering in could really serve to kill me
If the writing wasn’t there to wake me up and thrill me
I can not fucking throw this out, I can’t just fucking lose it
I can’t lose grip of everything, I really want to do this
I’m sorry that I felt that way and I fixed it with a nothing
But the emptiness is better than a never working something
Still in every pulse that’s pumping, I drown in your old picture
The image that remains inside and cuts me like scissor
Never fucking fading while I fought to keep from bailing
Is strength the will to walk away or continuing though failing?
Cause it never was clear sailing, I never found it easy
The way your smile warmed me up and some how it appeased me
And how it always seized me and secretly relieved me
Is something that I fell for though I wished it would all leave me
I know where things were heading, I saw the road ahead
I saw the very nothing now that never was back then
Every god damn breath I breathe, right now it brings me peace
A little rhyme to talk to you and bring me some relief
Notes: Been a while, huh? The long time since the last poem means this one is a bit rough. Obviously, the first and second stanza are two entirely different topics. To explain, I had just finished the first when I couldn’t get anything for the second. I finally said “fuck it” and just dug down deep and looked for something to pour out and, well, there it is.
Filed under: Poems