Xpression.v2

Strung Together (4/25/2007)

My eyes weigh a ton and my mind is diluted
By thoughts of a nothing, like a river run through it
Doused in the chemical, I feel so unstable
Like a dream ’bout to burst in an ordinary fable
Grind to the bone, these fingers I type with
A replacement for drugs and privatized violence
Stuck in between a dysfunctional mindset
An image that stabs, but I won’t close my eyes yet
I just stare as I argue and fight over these things
Cause some never bother ’til they suddenly need things
While I’m thrown to the wayside for dreams of much better
You pluck at these strings that would keep me together
These thoughts interwoven, now tangled in madness
A clenched fist for her that is tearfully tragic
I hate every minute I spend in delusion
When I find that a dream is just one damn illusion
But I catch myself in it and blissfully witness
What never had truth from beginning to finish
I’d watch it all die if I thought that I’d like it
I’d cut out my mind, if I could, just to spite it
But that wouldn’t help me, anger won’t fix this
Sadness won’t work, nor will ears that could listen
My fingers won’t solve this by writing this bullshit
I can’t hide from beauty that renders me stupid

It’s all interwoven and I’m tangled right in it
I’ll push it away then cry when I’m finished
I’ll punch at the walls just for one more encounter
Then watch it all die while the whole world has found her
But I’m sick of this nonsense and poetically writing
I’m so fucking sick of the mind that I’m fighting
To think what I thought was all fucking bullshit
Though I’d do it again ’til the moment I do this
Cause I can’t get it over, I’m stuck in this image
I say it’s all done, but there’s never a finish
I curse at myself when I stare at your picture
I hate every feeling that says that I miss her

Notes: I started writing this one way, but fatigue and a never ending flow of distracting IM’s only served to completely destroy my focus and anger me. I just went with it. I’m tired of trashing poems and deleting them because they didn’t come out as I had planned. It may suck, but I wrote it and that’s all that should count. I’ll have my highs and my lows. Some will just suck bad, but at least they’ll be out there.

Filed under: Poems