Xpression.v2

Dream Junkie (3/17/2007)

I feel trapped in the illusions of an optimistic hope
But I’ll try to break the glass with a sober kind of note
As I sit and read the letters that you wrote with pure intention
I feel safe to fade away for the sake of self protection
Cause it pains me just to mention all the arbitrary waiting
And how I filled with kindness when I knew you wouldn’t save me
The signs I chose to see were never by the road side
These figments of imagination conjured by my own mind
But was I wrong to hope and perservere for what I wanted?
I feel like a such a dope, it’s crystal clear you never wanted
I was working for a happenstance that never had a prayer
Falling for a dream girl that’s personified by air
But still I’d breathe you in if I ever had a chance
I’d let you fill me up and then flow out through my hands
I’d actually alliterate another anxious letter
I’d speak but make no sense, but love that I feel better

In those day dreams of perfection, I tried to fight reality
The dreams were so much better and served to try to balance me
Every situation was a way that I’d escape it
Hiding from the truth of this stagnant situation
But I guess alliteration won’t serve as medication
These words won’t heal the pain from a wound’s proliferation
Forgive my aggravation, but the anger’s what I need now
To cover up the scars and depression that would seep out
Cause everything is flowing, ricocheting in a heart beat
Another pump of venom to devastate me partly
Left to question agony, my anger and my sorrow
Disdain for yesterday, but disappointed by tomorrow
The dreams were all I had, an escapist with his mistress
A dose for when I’m sad, I’m out, and now I’ll miss this
My prescription has expired, a junkie left in coma
Numb to the reality he wishes would be over

Notes: It’s about a girl. That’s all I’m going to bother saying on the meaning. Technically speaking, I struggled a bit and decided that instead of forcing one core concept, I would let it evolve more as my mind expanded on my thoughts and emotions. Simply put, the second half is a bit different than the first half, but it’s much more honest and pure because of that.

Filed under: Poems