Xpression.v2

I’ve been putting this one off because I know some people may not understand my sense of humor. If you think I’m serious, you simply don’t know me well.

Race Relations:
Black people around the country have announced their support for presidential hopeful Barack Obama. He’s half black as opposed to Al Sharpton’s 100 blackness. I guess they chose to settle. My problem with this “I’m voting for him because he’s black” concept is that, well, look at it. These people are doing nothing, but epitomizing what it means to be racist. They are judging him not on the content of his character, but on the color of his half white/half black skin. Somehow, because he’s almost black, it means he’s going to be a better president, I guess. If that’s the case, all George Bush needs is a week in the Bahamas and a really good tan.

Either way you look at it, Obama is good for African Americans. Michael Jackson said, “It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white”. Well, he’s both, so it doesn’t matter times two. Talk about having a dream.

However, there are people who make an entire race of people look idiotic in less than 5 seconds. I’m looking at you Ms. Jones and the crew over at Hot97 FM. I’m not sure why you feel the need to yell out “represent, represent” each morning as you have a bunch of people calling in, but the aforementioned Obama should ask that you stop mentioning his name during your show. The poor bastard doesn’t need to be associated with such nonsense. He’s half white, afterall. So, please, rescind your support for him immediately. Represent, represent Hillary.

Sexual Preference Relations:
I was going to call it “Gay Relations”, but that’s definitely a double entendre in the making. People with homosexual preferences need to realize something: They have a well accepted leader. She’s on TV and people love her. If you’re thinking Rosie, then realize I said that people love her. No, it’s not the angry lesbo from “The View”, it’s the happy, subtle one we know as Ellen DeGeneres. She’s gay, but she’s not in your face about it. That’s what gay people need. Ellen is the perfect example of how to be yourself and not have society treat you as though you just blurted out how sexy Star Jones is. Be gay, but don’t be so loud. When choosing your attire, subtly toned sweater vests are not only stylish, but also a quiet representation of your way of life. Put down the protest signs, I say. Don’t worry about getting married. Tone it down and everyone will be happy. Well, everyone but the guys who make oak tag paper. They love it when you’re loud and proud. For the rest of us, though: Be here, be queer, stop yelling at us to get used to it.

Filed under: General