Amorphous
Amorphous (2/15/2007)
Sometimes, when I’m bored, I drench myself in these flames
To ignite away the substance and burn away the shame
As embers dance away and carry off the stress
I clench tightly at my chest, swimming in this sweat
Cause it’s hard to be a bottle, containing my existence
I can hold on to the world but not the skill to listen
I can pour out what I’m feeling, but I’d soak it up again
And all I’d do is shatter, cause this glass can never bend
I can only snap instead and hide inside these corners
Exposure to the world would only bring about disorder
With these shards inside my hand, I’d scratch away my face
A mask of a every nothing that I use to shroud my pain
But I see you standing there, a witness to this play
Eyes glued upon the stage as I writhe inside this fame
The lights burn away my skin, I’m left feeling so damn bare
So I close my eyes to you and I hope you’re never there
But then you know me, I simply need to take a peak
I need to see the sky and the sun that leaves me weak
Now I’m exposed all day to the point I wish to break
I just want to get away without a second thought of hate
I want to run away and return back to the beach
Melt me back into the sand, another grain beneath your feet
Cause I can not comprehend, this is not the man I am
I’m not good at being seen, I’m not good to understand
Cause all I really am is the total of my past
One crack upon my skin and I get thrown beside the trash
Imperfected am I, it’s the only shape that I know
And when I melt inside the fire, I give a sobering red glow
Notes: I realize that, lately, I’ve been a bit more convoluted in my writing, so I thought I would explain this one. This piece is about the feeling of being transparent and fragile and how when someone tries to see through you, you only want to get away and return to being just another person to them.
Filed under: Poems