Under My Breath
Under My Breath (1/28/2007)
I used to know how to take shit and spin it into writing
But now I lost the rhythm, I’m just sitting here and fighting
Yelling at myself cause I refuse to ask for help
I need to face it on my own with every bruise and welt
Cause in these shoes is hell, but I’m addicted to the feeling
Of having the weight on me, right through the roof and ceiling
Some look to soothe and heal me, but I thrive upon the misery
Hope is hard to bare, so I pray depression visits me
And nothing ever interests me, it’s so hard to get excited
When every place I go, I tend to feel so uninvited
My very tone’s divided while I speak under my breath
I smile in your presence but there is nothing really left
It suffocated my chest and took the sunlight out of me
I was left with a cliche, so I just sit there while you shout at me
You just wouldn’t understand the position that I sit in
You may know the basic facts, but the differences are given
But don’t worry ’bout my feelings, I can do my best to hide them
It’s the only way I know, in my soul, where I confide them
I’ll just sit alone and rhyme them and hope you see the meaning
Of the very words I whisper beneath the words I’m screaming
So where does this all leave me when the rhyme is done and through?
A few minutes left in ecstasy before I’m back to you
I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to have you right there waiting
But it’s hard to keep together when the world is escalating
And the hurt I’ve been maintaining comes upon a cross road
Where I have to make a choice, I heard something ’bout a lost soul
An echo in my head that says it doesn’t really matter
Cause it all leads to the same place, where my reality can shatter
Notes: It’s a bit cliche at times, but it’s not that bad considering I’ve been in a drought lately. Just venting some things on my mind.
Filed under: Poems