Xpression.v2

Scrambled Dialect (12/31/06)

It’s often hard to express everything that I’ve thought of
The words come out, no they don’t, well they sort of
The meaning is sawed off and is lost in confusion
As I try to interpret some fucking sort of conclusion
I’m not lost in delusion, though, I tend to get caught up
Tangled in the nets of the pictures I’ve thought up
Every word that I fought up tends to come out all scattered
And the next thing I know, none of my words really matter
Cause the situation is splattered and painted in madness
What was meant to be happy suddenly bends into sadness
Every syllable’s tragic until I lock up the attic
And I shut off my brain and refuse to have at it
But then people get pissed off, I can see you get angry
So you choose a few swear words and you fling them right at me
And while you sit and attack me, I punch and I slap me
How could you screw this all up? Do you see this? You happy?
You lost their attention and the crowd is disbanding
The eyes that you seek are now blind to this damn thing
The whole thing was perfect but you just couldn’t speak it
Chris, you fucked it all up, and now you’ll never repeat it
You lost it in weakness, you stuttered and stammered
And now your world of confessing, those feelings don’t matter
It’s time to patch it all up and pretend this never happened
Just close both your eyes, take a breath, and then back in
Find your own fitting, then find a way to just sneak in
Hope they forget that you were trying and speaking
Laugh it all off and perhaps call them all crazy
Then tell her your sorry and stupid and lazy
And lastly, for safety, stuff it all back down inside
These words never spoken shall stay cause it is right
Every time that you want to, do your best to not say it
That way she won’t taste it, an opportunity wasted

Notes: It’s a little convoluted towards the end, but tis my style of saying things without saying them. Either way, at the core, this is about two issues I’ve faced in my life: stuttering and the inability to express myself properly to anyone, particularly, a chick that I like.

Filed under: Poems