Archive for December, 2006

The Unwilling Dreamer (12/31/06)

It’s amazing how pressure can break you all together
And bury your brain and make you think you’re no better
Than the people there tethered, caught up in their own chains
If you say what’s on your mind then you’re simply insane
And so I swallowed my pains and I hid them in shame
I only wrote what people wanted, like a drug for their veins
But the only one addicted to the rhymes I created
Was the person inside that I realized that I hated
So I changed up the skill set and focused more on the meaning
I tried to give it more thought instead of hopelessly bleeding
And while nobody is pleading for me to scribble on paper
There’s a few of them out there who will read it all later
And I don’t need to show favor and put on a performance
I just throw down what I’m thinking with methodical caution
And maybe I lost rawness that I once found my pride in
But now I convey a real message while I’m sitting and rhyming

When you look at the one hand, you have to look at the other
In that I’m cursed by fact this skill won’t bring home the butter
It’s a skill like few others, but it’s still far from amazing
And the blue collar I wear doesn’t let fantasy phase me
Though, it does drive me crazy, listening to all of these rappers
The guys on the radio with their rhymes like a pastor
All of them preaching and reaching for the same message
Til it all sounds the same and it lacks any lesson
But I guess the rocker in me fiends for something much different
Like a meaning and candor instead of girls, cars and riches
And I know some are different, but their numbers are dropping
So it’s me and my skill and the real world that I’m cropping

Random Itching (12/25/2006)

If I don’t write for a bit then I think it’s gone to shit
I talk to myself hoping that I can find a fix
Something I can twist, just pick a wrist to slit
Anything to make me hurt, leave me feeling sick
Cause I feel like such a dick losing hold of this
If I can’t corral my thoughts, how can I sit down and spit
Just throw me in the pit and tell me I should quit
Little stupid kid who won’t amount to shit
But like an addict for a fix, I crave and feel the itch
If I can’t pick a thought out then I’ll randomize this shit
And talk about anything that that leaves me in this twist
It’s not that I’m content, I just find it hard to bitch
So I’ll tear out every stitch and bleed across the table
Every little single thought laced into a fable
When everything seems stable, that’s when it’s gone to shit
Another rut to rest in as I try to scratch the itch

I thank God for the day and every breath I take
But I curse him for the way that he lets my life decay
Cause he let me go insane, staring at the beauty
Knowing that it’s something that has fucking run right through me
But going on with duty and working for a living
Making next to nothing so I sit here penny splitting
Dealing with the assholes who lack the common sense
How I’d love to get behind them and break their little neck
And take away respect, something I’ve been stripped of
Thinking of that body, no, thinking what I’m sick of
There’s never time to pick up, nothing we can discuss
No chance to get away from the heavy and the sick stuff
So every thought will itch us, it’ll itch me, it’ll itch you
Maybe it’ll itch me, then itch he, then itch who?
Maybe it’ll hit you and leave me high and mighty
And leave me with some time to figure what I’m writing
Cause I know it makes no sense, but this is my in head
Damn she has the curves, I mean, I hate this job instead
Let’s empty jars and heads and leave us all with silence
Insanity, perversity, and the random thoughts of violence

Notes: It’s been a while since I’ve written and part of it is because of my complete lack of focus. This piece is scattered intentionally. It’s as random as my thoughts.