Archive for November, 2006
Video of Staind at the Hiro Ballroom
Nov 29th
Remember that Staind show Joe and I went to? Well, they released a video of one performance from the show. This is the band’s cover of “Sober”, originally written by Tool. Enjoy.
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Mr. Nothing
Nov 27th
Mr. Nothing (11/26/2006)
What do you really see in me when you take your glances
Do you see an opportunity or twenty wasted chances
Does every image shown to you convey the same damn message
That I have wasted everything and left you with the messes
But I don’t want you to stress it, I don’t need you to worry
I know I’ve fucked it all up now, I know the future’s blurry
I know that everything I’ve done is all one disappointment
Just say it like the rest have said, then go to your appointment
I work a job I tolerate, but I do so with no passion
I live a life that’s gone to waste in every kind of fashion
I spend my time locked away to hide from all your faces
I always hear what you say, your whispers leaving traces
And even in the pages where I change this tale’s direction
I fall into a circumstance that leads me from perfection
Like in this very instance, I would give it all to see her
Not much to lose, but tons to gain, you know, that girl Maria
But even in that situation, I’ve failed a thousand times
To the point where self laid hatred clouds my very mind
It makes me stare at my reflection and notice every flaw
I embody the term imperfection, mirror hates me more
Welcome one and welcome all to my ritual
Where doubting and depression are a bit habitual
But don’t leave care, don’t leave pity, don’t you shed a tear
Cause somebody has to fail so someone else can cheer
And that man’s me, Mr. Failure, Mr. Never Nothing
The guy you all thought would succeed but never found his something
This is my life, these are my thoughts, the rattling inside me
To the left and to the right, there’s nothing there’s beside me
Accept the Way
Nov 24th
Accept the Way (11/24/2006)
I’ve said a few things that have pissed people off
I’ve angered them a bit in my moment of lost
Self control, emotionally charged situations
I laid it hard with a heart of temptation
The darkest persuasions that would cloud my life up
Until I broke down and thought that my life sucked
Tearing my mind up ’til I snapped at both ends
And went off on my family and attacked all my friends
Watching life bend, trying my hardest to break it
If it all falls away, then I won’t have to take it
I was soulless and faithless and left there for empty
A soul left in thirst that would give when you’d tempt me
And you’d call me out and ignite up a battle
And I’d spill a line like a boat with no paddle
Going no where simply riding the current
When I saw the lines for everything that they weren’t
Lacking the passion and the meaning that filled me
Riddled with words that had proven you killed me
I let it be still me and focus the outcry
I took it all in cause I will never let doubt lie
Cause I am what I am, some hope I’ll change for the better
But the path that I’m on won’t let me stick to the letter
There’s no turns, no stops, no apologies
I’m not sorry for the past that will follow me
Would you hollow me? Would you take it away now?
The past has been done, please let it fade out
And watch it all go, as it shrinks in the distance
It’s all that I was, but it’s not in this instant
Random Attack
Nov 22nd
Random Attack (11/22/2006)
It’s not been long but Chris has snapped already
Writing up a track, both his hands are steady
But are you ready for me to cut to the meaning?
I’ll cut you with a vowel and you’ll start bleeding
Cause I’ve been hypnotized by the bullshit lying
I’ve been mesmerized by the days gone flying
Time’s gone by and it’s all gone dying
Wasted away by my bitching and crying
But you’ve witnessed me, in the past, be stronger
You’ve seen me milk a fight for a tad bit longer
Just to feel the fight that ignites up the energy
While I used my words to waste away my enemy
Taking what’s been said to me, using it as ammo
I’ve never seen the movie, but I can shoot like Rambo
Nobody understands, though, I never start the argument
I just take the point and refuse to not argue it
Cause I can not be part of it if I don’t agree with it
I’m not a mindless drone, I have a mind and see with it
Sometimes I’m left to be with it and that’s when I realize
That we all need to dream, so I’ll dream away with these eyes
I’ll dream of seeing these guys, a dj and a millionaire
Being blown to pieces, watch their body parts fill the air
Then hoping that my manager will breathe in the toxins
And lose a lung and his trend to be obnoxious
Then call the doctors and prepare the operation
I’ll wash my hands and forget the consultation
I’ll just piss on them and bury them with apathy
Then me and Dorothy can live together happily
And we’ll walk the road, the yellow brick road
We’ll walk down that road, right to their homes
Just to punch their mom and smack away their father
If they have a sister, we’ll smack her even harder
Then burn it down, the house full of memories
And spell in the ashes “remember what you said to me”
You said it condescendingly, you said it with abhorrence
Did you think that I would simply fucking ignore it?
But I only stored it right next to the gas tank
A verbal bomb to wipe away the past blank
Don’t worry, boys, I’ve got a flower for your grave site
And a straight jacket cause this fucking rhyme just ain’t right
Comment Lost?
Nov 20th
If you post a comment and it doesn’t appear, please leave a message in the shoutbox. The spam filter sometimes nabs a non-spam comment and it’s hard for me to sort through the list without knowing there’s something in there I need to approve. Thanks guys and sorry to the few visitors who has their comments deleted by the spam filter.
The Colors of Poison
Nov 19th
The Colors of Poison (11/19/2006)
Blue and gold and black and pink and colors I don’t recognize
Swirling and colliding in explosions that are emphasized
Praying that the rest is lies that have their roots in nothing
Misconstrued interpretations caught my mind or something
Cause with every heart beat pumping, I can feel the poison flowing
No medicine will get it out, I feel my body slowing
Just staring in a daze at the visions that will take me
And turn me into nothing but a shell that’s not worth saving
Cause silence has been fading, a loneliness disrupted
I hear the faintness of a voice wanting to be trusted
It’s hard to lie, say “fuck it” when it’s eating at me inside
Flowing through my veins and repeating in my mind
I whisper to myself all these words that drive me crazy
Cursing every other thought that speaks and then betrays me
Is there nothing that can sway me from preposterous temptation
A little pill to swallow that can simply block persuasion
If not, then what can save me? Will I hear this all forever?
Will every fleeting glance I get leave me feeling severed
From the world of clear cut lines and proportionated sanity
I just want to sit alone with my mediocre vanity
And wash out every droplet of the image that corrupts me
Flush away the vision that has bruised me while it cuts me
The venom that disrupts me and weighs upon my chest
Flooding every single thought and invading every breath
These colors of my poison are the pinnacle of tragedy
Born to test my will and my grasp upon reality
In the rain, I made a promise, but the venom starts to break it
Longing for a taste of this poisonous temptation
Cause I can not restrain it, I can’t resist the whisper
I kill myself to pull me back, but it doesn’t even blister
It glistens there in black and white and then in vibrant color
The green and red to lift you up simply like no other
Notes: I struggled through this one and I think it shows. It’s all I could manage to get out, though.
Media Recommendations
Nov 18th
Quick check in guys and girls. I thought I would recommend some movies and music for all of you to check out when you get a chance.
Movie: Accepted
Hilarious movie that leaves you feeling feeling good and very inspired. The movie itself, while a bit hard to describe, is about the fake college the main character, Bartelby, sets up after not getting accepted anywhere else. He simply wants to fool his parents and get them off of his back, but things balloon rather quickly. Hysterical, laugh out loud humor (without any extreme vulgarity or perverseness) and a heart felt meaning behind it all.
Movie: Crank:
Starring Jason Statham (the guy from the Transporter movies), this one is action from beginning to end. There’s no deep story line. The only thing this movie is about is crazy action from 2 minutes in, straight through the end (literally). If you’re bored and need a kick ass movie, this is the one.
Music: “Vultures” by Smile Empty Soul
Their actual second album never got released, so this is their sophomore release. The sound is a bit different than their older stuff (attributed to a new drummer and an extra guitarist), but it’s a solid album. Honestly, there’s only one track I don’t like and only one other I’m willing to skip over, if need be. Give it a listen and see what you think. You can hear a few of the track over at the band’s MySpace.
Music: “The Singles” by Staind
Yes, I know, the record company is trying to milk things a bit, but there’s incentive here. The album comes with 4 live recordings from the acoustic show Joe and I went to a little while back. Better yet, if you buy it at Best Buy, you get an additional 2 tracks from that same show. It wouldn’t be worth it without these 6 tracks, but they’re there and it’s worth it. If you want a listen, check out the “Sober” cover over at their MySpace.
That’s all for me. Hope you enjoy.
Canada has it right
Nov 15th
So, I finally got a call from Fidelis Health Care today. It turns out my montly income averages about $10 over the limit. Ten freaking dollars cost me free health care. They referred me to local HMO’s, but those cost, at least, $200 a month. I’m so fucked, now. The dentist put in a temporary filling because he’s an asshole and wants to pull out my wisdom tooth before a permanent filling goes in. Of course, I cant’ afford either procedure. Canada, with it’s nationwide health care, has it right. Fucking America and fucking teeth.
Here On This Ledge
Nov 12th
Here On This Ledge (11/12/06)
Everybody gathers to see you on this ledge
Wanting to jump twice for the people making bets
Willing to risk it and then lose it all on a whim
To quiet the restraint that’s been hounding you within
Cause you found a line of sin drawn across the sand
But the waves had worn it over, though you think you understand
So you hold your breath much longer and wait for the right moment
Then you dive into emotions, a release that’s been so potent
Cause you’ve been busting at the seams and tearing at the vessels
Staring at the sand while you listen to their heckles
And every sense you have is spinning every vision
Waiting ’til you fall in a painted white collision
It’s a painful mind’s decision, a cavernous chest cavity
You ask if it’s all worth it or will it all embarass me
Painted, hidden faces, they’re like columns for our levity
The weight of our sobriety will always hold us steadily
Cause nobody will cherish me, not without these curtains
The crowd there down below will think they know for certain
One jump to feel alive again before you hit reality
And crash into the judgments of your ever growing fallacy
Lying in your tragedy, sitting near temptation
Sinking even lower to ingest your hesitation
But you guess the reservations are every thing that’s meant to be
I want to see you jump, her blackened eyes say temptingly
Notes: I had a few more lines but chose to end it there. In my mind, everything is said even if it’s a few lines shorter than I like.
Why the ads?
Nov 5th
Sunday has seemingly become journal entry day in the world of blogging for me.
Before I get to the personal life issues, I have a question: Why all the ads? All over the web, people like me host their own blogs. However, it seems a larger and larger amount of these people inundate their pages with ads (usually Google ads). Why? First of all, it’s cheap to run a site like this. I spend about $10 a year for the domain name and $48 for the hosting. That’s hardly a large expense in the grand realm of things. To further negate the value of these ads, most blogs get few hits. Unless you’re a popular tech blogger, you’ll probably get a few thousand hits a month (I usually hover between 30,000 to 50,000) and a number of those hits will probably be search engines indexing your site and such. Then, to top it all off, these people put their valueless ads in the middle of their blog entry so it now takes up valuable screen space. It just makes no sense. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve thought about it a few times, too. However, I’m just grateful that people are willing to stop by and read what I have to say. The last thing I want to do it annoy people with ads. That said, if you click this link, many girls will want you and your penis will grow by inches!…..;)
Back to the less technical, more complicated side of life otherwise known as reality. Work has been kind of cool lately. My store is just finishing up a complete revamp of Home Theater. The new department, renamed HEET, is much more cleanly laid out and really makes me feel like I actually have a semi professional job. Almost all of our flat panels are hanging on a wood paneled wall. The aisles were opened up to allow you room to step back and really take in all the TV’s. To top it all off, the audio equipment has all been put into a studio room that is controlled entirely by a touchscreen computer monitor. With the touch screen, you can choose which receiver, front speakers, rear speakers, center channel, subwoofer and source you want to test out. All of it is interchangeable so the number of possible combinations is staggering. To complete the room, there are 3 big screen, flat panel television and a retractable projector screen. I think I need to brush up on my audio and spend my days in that bad boy.
Besides looking cool, the new department also makes me feel much more comfortable. I find that I’m much less frustrated and depressed while working the floor. It’s a great change from the old catacombs we used to work in. Best Buy did a good job. I have to give them credit.
But, as does God, I giveth and I taketh. I’m taking credit away from the person who decided my work ethic and productivity deserved more work. It seems I’ve once again been thrown to the wolves and have become the official Home Theater cycle count guy. Basically, every Tuesday, I go in from 7 – 4 and spend most of my day counting every single non-accessory item in the department. Luckily, there’s a 2 or 3 week cycle, so I can get the counts done by 2:30pm or so and then take my lunch. It’s just a bitch, though. All I spend my day doing is counting, filling out the paper work, climbing mountains of boxes to find product, and running to every corner of the store trying to track missing items down. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the break from the customers (I refuse to sell and count at the same time. I’d never get done), but it’s stressing because I seem to actually give a damn and really want to make sure those counts are accurate. For such a lazy, unmotivated bastard, those counts really do something to me.
To finish things off here, let me say that the holidays are upon us and you should expect me to be a bit moody, at times. The company figures that my store will have about 80,000 customers between the months of November and December and it can get very stressful. If you see me cursing or distancing myself, just let me be. I’m one of those guys who needs his time in peace and the holidays tend to take away from that a bit.
