Xpression.v2

Failure Obsession (8/19/2006)

It’s hard to understand everything that I’ve digested
If I stare a little longer, I just magically might get it
But why am I obsessed with realistic comprehension
When every time I try it, I am left out in suspension
Floating through the nothings that I’ve built the past few years on
What renders no emotion used to motivate and cheer on
Every little nuance that I’ve lost inside confusion
‘Til the person that I am is nothing more than a dilution
A watered down reflection, one dimension, nothing more
Drinking of the solitude that hides behind the door
Loneliness, insanity, and the screams I keep inside
Dullen out the glisten that once gleamed inside my eyes
And it keeps me bordered up, locked away from every world
From the people that I’ve grown with to every single boy and girl
Every single person that I shove into a corner
I keep them far away and put walls around the border
Cause I’m afraid to make a move, I’m obsessed with never failing
Walking when I used to run and clenching at the railing
Fearlessness that never was, but courage that sure did
Evolving to complacency where “just enough” it is
But is this all so healthy? I don’t think I want the answer
It’s one addiction more that has grown in me like cancer
Some call it a cliche of sorts, but this is how I live
Far away from everything with nothing much to give

Notes: Still a bit short, but I’m taking baby steps.

Filed under: Poems