Hook Me Up
I had no idea it’s been so long since my last journal entry. Next time, someone kick me in the ass and let me know.
It’s been an odd couple of weeks. In a way, I feel trapped outside of time, as if life is flying by me and I’m just unable to jump in and keep pace. I’ve found enjoyment in less and less and generally carry a very bland aura with me. It’s driving me nuts, but I have no idea how to fix it.
By this time, I’m guessing you’re wondering what the title means (if you weren’t, pretend). Well, in the past 3 weeks, two people have now offered to hook me up with some girl they know. Christa was one of these people and while the girl she wanted to hook me up with is nice, she’s just not someone I’d want anything with. No offense to her, really. Then, out of all people, Priscilla’s mom offers today (I was over trying to clean up a laptop). I don’t even want to know who she had in mind. I didn’t ask and I won’t let the issue go any further.
The question has to be asked though: Do I look that desperate for a chick? I’m trying (and failing) to make things work with Maria. Either way, though, I don’t want anyone else involved in my love life. Third party intervention drives me nuts and here these people are, assuming they know me and just butting in. Yes, I know they mean well, but I’m a jerk off and it just bugs me. Let me screw things up on my own, please.
Man, I’m pretty sure I used to be pretty decent at dealing with people. More and more lately, though, I just feel so cut off from the world. I shut down without ever giving anyone (including the chick customer trying to flirt with me at work) a chance. I could blame society, but they’re too busy fucking themselves over anyway.
This has been a lot of random crap, huh? I guess I know why people haven’t been clamoring for an entry.
Filed under: Journal
You and WishX both have been slacking, oops.
Back in the UK and definitely up for kicking your ass for some content after a while
Just an idle thought, but maybe the fact that people are throwing girls at you means it might be time to move on? =X
Murkey hit it on the head. People wouldn’t be trying to hook you up if they didn’t feel you had something to offer. That says something about you as a person.
As for your ongoing issues with Maria: Life’s too short to waste like you are; stop being a coward and make a stand once and for all. Give her a choice then live with the decision. If she’s still ambivelent then its time for you to cut bait and move on. Maybe she’ll then realize what she let go and want another chance - but that’s never going to happen as long as you’re twitching at the end of her leash.