Why not quit?
I’m sitting at home when I should have been spending some time with Maria, finally. Of course, like usual, she says one thing and does another. Her phone is off so I can’t even get past a damn voicemail. It’s every moment like this that I ask myself why I don’t just quit and try things with someone else. What’s my driving motivation? Why do I refuse to give up?
Honestly, I’m not entirely sure of that answer. Obviously, she’s beautiful and a good person, but is that enough? Should a person not allow themselves to have expectations? I want time to see if this could work for real, but I never get it. Why do I stick around and continue to try and fail over and over? To most people, it would make no sense.
I guess some of it comes down to not wanting to lose out on something I want. I’m not always the most motivated person in the world, but I can be stubborn when it comes to something I want. On top of that, I’m always curious. Not only can I not succeed, I can’t figure out why I keep failing. It drives me crazy. I need to have or know, one or the other. Either way, it would be an end to the mystery and continuous cycle. Maybe that’s what I really need: a definitive conclusion. No loose ends. No questions unanswered. Maybe that’s why I don’t quit. Damn, how I wish I could…
Filed under: Journal
don’t quit if your heart, or you, doesn’t want to. i know it sounds cheesy but it’s the dead ass truth.
I’ve been in a similar situation recently. The girl I like is always too busy for me and when she’s not, she seems like she wants nothing to do with me because she’s always tired from work and such. I’ve asked myself so many times why I still bother and I really don’t know. Stubborness is a great factor, something I have a high quantity of as well.