Archive for May, 2006
Baseball and Things
May 31st
Baseball, the great American past time. While everyone seems to be head over heels about football, I spend my winter waiting for spring training to begin. Actually, thanks to people at work, I realized I’m not the only one. A co-worker of mine is also apathetic towards football while passionate about baseball. It’s a great sport, isn’t it?
Really, though, baseball has increasingly become a big part of my daily routine. I love watching the Yanks play and do my best to make sure I watch at least part of every single game. Thank god I work with TV’s at work. This Monday, I actually managed to get the game on one tiny 15 inch LCD. It wasn’t much, but it was good enough, especially with the chaotic nature of Memorial Day shopping. Those crazy sales seekers.
While I don’t know enough people to ever really get a chance to play baseball, Joe and I have a catch pretty often in the warmer months. However, once again this year, I’m fighting some resulting tendonitis in my right elbow (throwing arm). Today I tried to change my grip on the ball and it seemed to help. While I can’t use the grip to throw any line drive rockets and I still need to figure out how to get more distance out of it, I felt almost no pain on routine throws. I didn’t talk much today because I was so focused on the grip and the pain and monitoring any twinges in the elbow. Pain management? From me?! Yep. Honestly, after throwing a good 100 – 150 balls yesterday with my elbow throbbing, I thought I should do something about it instead of trying to suck up the pain.
And, while I don’t have any real transition to inform you of this, I’ve been given news posting privileges on Neowin meaning I get to help out on the front page now, too. I’ve been bitching for these rights for a while (gmods don’t get access to the posting backend), but I finally got it. I always thought journalism may be something I would enjoy, so this is a great way to test out that hunch.
X-Men 3
May 30th
Well, I saw X-Men 3 today and, I have to admit, it was pretty good. You’d be pretty lost if you didn’t see the first two or, at least, know the backgrounds behind some of the main characters, but otherwise, it’s a pretty good flick. A few parts actually get you pretty emotional, though I feel they darted through a few back stories a bit too quickly. The movie did seem a bit rushed and could have done well if it lasted another half hour so as to get in the fully body of the work. I enjoyed it, though, and that’s all that really matters.
Isn’t it funny how these movies always get you wondering what it would be like to be a super hero? Maybe it’s my way of wanting to escape the boring predictable reality that I, along with everyone else, exist in, but the imagination always runs wild after a movie like X-Men. To be something more, something special, isn’t that a worthwhile dream? Maybe I’m nuts and am alone in my outlandish dreams, but one can only wonder what it would be like. After watching this movie, I think I’d like to be one of the X-Men. Other heroes have to conceal their identity and are generally forced into loneliness. Not the X-Men, though.
How about you guys and girls? If you could be one super hero, who would you be and why?
Dementia
May 26th
Dementia (5/26/2006)
Sitting in the shadows as I claw through all these questions
These voices tend to mention how I’ve fallen from perfection
And now they’re my obsession, I’m paranoid about my rhymes
Cause I’m freaking that I’m losing the ability to write
And it’s killing me tonight, I feel it wrenching at my body
Somebody’s written something, but somebody’s name is “not me”
The delusions now have got me and I’m losing it at top speed
Crashing through euphoria and now I’m not so cocky
And I’m begging you to stop me, please make me drop the pen
Please spill the ink and cap me and then send me off to bed
Cause none of this makes sense and I’m going fucking crazy
The drought happens too often and it has a way to phase me
And it blinds me ’til it’s hazy, then it calls me and it sways me
‘Til I’m bloodshot in the eyes and I’ll settle for a maybe
Then that’s when it betrays me and leaves me on a whim
With nothing left to studder and no feelings left within
And I really start to thin as the thoughts and feeling swell up
Making me all dizzy til I tripped and simply fell up
No sense can seem to gel up and I’m lacking a real subtance
The tormentors in my head laugh and seem to love this
I collapse, I’m feeling gutless, damn, where has all my skill gone?
I sit and try to write, then crumple cause it’s still gone
No paper left to spill on and no pen for me to bleed through
No blood inside the head to surge until it’s seeps through
And No words for me to feed you, no pulse behind the nerves
Where the fuck is agony? Where the fuck are all the words?
This all feels so absurd. Am I running out of hurt?
Well, beat me to a pulp so I have pain to observe
And I can get over this curve and get right back to my writing
Returning to the passion that I really feel defines me
I don’t need happy findings and I don’t need sunny days
I need something to hurt me and I need to feel deranged
Notes: It should be pretty clear. I’m simply going into the chaos I sometimes feel when I want to write, but can’t.
Delays and Hope
May 25th
What’s up people? How have you been doing? It’s obvious people don’t visit here as much anymore, so I’m going to have to start blabbing more often. Damn you all to hell.
Well, there’s some news on the Magnolia front. The overhaul was pushed back until September, for whatever reason. That sucks, to some extent, however there was some instilled in me the other day. The general manager, a guy I neither like nor feel likes me, came up to me and showed me the diagram of the layout for the new section and then proceeded to ask me, “Chris, are you ready to starting wearing a shirt and tie?”. This is good. Such a definitive statement puts some concern to rest that he would be the one to screw me over. I reassured him that this is something I want and I’m continuing to keep my eye out for the position application.
I’m really banking on this to happen, however, if it doesn’t, I’m pretty set in my plans already. I’ll quit, straight out. A Circuit City is opening and, as most people know, they’ll do almost anything to get Best Buy people to jump ship. I have no loyalties. While I understand Best Buy is not a charity, neither am I. I’ll do whatever is best for me.
There’s really not much else to say about my personal life. It’s all come to a standstill, somewhat. With things coming up in Maria’s life, that fiasco has been put on hold, somewhat. I’m not sweating it too much. I know what it’s like to need a bit of time to clear out your head, so I can sympathize a bit.
I’m out of things to say at this point, but I do have a question for everyone: What kind of content do you want to see here that would make you visit more often? Let me know. I’m open to ideas, at the moment.
In closing, just remember that I am the Decider and……what? someone already is? who? get out! really?!……nevermind.
New Breaking Benjamin Single
May 22nd
Breaking Benjamin has their new single on the net for all to hear. It’s titled “The Diary of Jane” and is a pretty damn good track, in my opinion. If you want to give it a listen (and already have Windows Media Player installed), click here.
Invisible Friend
May 21st
Invisible Friend (5/22/2006)
When I wake up in the morning, I remember the issues
The things inside my head that remind me I miss you
And though we only talk inside of imperfect dreams
It’s the thought of your voice that closes my tearing seams
Because I’m bearing the fiends that always keep me so lonely
Until I talk to you because I think that you know me
And the things that you show me, have shown me … whatever
The point of the matter is that you keep me together
And make me feel better and get me back on my feet
So I can prove to the world that I still haven’t been beat
I think that maybe I’m crazy for having lonely discussions
But it’s all that I have, you’re my emergency button
I guess I find it ironic, though, that only now I am talking
Maturely venting to you in a way to help me keep walking
I’ve been growing inside and trying to find an example
Of when it’s okay to pray and grab for the handle
And look for assitance and search for compassion
A beautiful spirit to listen and guide a few actions
You’re one of my closest friends even though I can’t see you
Getting me through the days that I don’t want to breathe through
Though I don’t want to need you, I can swallow my pride
I try to do that so often because I’m hollow inside
I try to follow the lines that you seem to be painting
And hope that you’re right and that it’s really worth waiting
Because I’m sick of evading and stuffing it deeper
You look so damn peaceful, I’ve been wanting a breather
You’re my break and my guidance and my lone inspiration
You’re the friend I can’t see, but always showing me patience
Comment Missing?
May 19th
If you post a comment and it doesn’t appear after submitting, contact me. I’ve been getting hit with massive amounts of spam posts and a few innocent posts are getting caught in the nets. If you let me know, I can find your post and mark it as not being spam. Thanks.
Apple and the PC
May 18th
By now, everyone should have seen the commercials by Apple. They show a cool young dude representing the Mac and an over weight, mid 30’s, uncool gentleman representing the PC. No, it’s not more subtle than I’m making it sound.
Anyway, Apple uses the commercial to beat PC users over the head with the apparent fact that the Mac is superior to the PC in every which way. I just wish to point out two key “facts”:
1. Latest digital camera works with Mac and not PC: Who’s going to release a digital camera, in this day and age, that doesn’t work, out of box on the day of release, with Windows? Then again, the guy in the commercial can speak Japanese. My Windows install hasn’t done that yet. The Mac has skills, indeed.
2. Gaming on the Mac: Oh right, thats a tad on the limited side. I guess that’s why that commercial hasn’t been made yet.
I actually think the Mac is a great system, don’t get me wrong. However, it’s not for everybody by any means. For a guy like me, I’d be screwed. There is a much wider selection of software for the PC and, being a gamer, I’d actually like to play some games.
So, Apple, just shut up. You’re annoying me and I don’t like to be annoyed. Do your thing and do it well. However, don’t forget your place and how much of the market still shuns you.
/end annoyed rant intended to make fanboys flip out
Bit of My Thoughts
May 14th
Bit of My Thoughts (5/14/2006)
I have fallen off the face of the earth, or so it seems
I’ve just been dealing with historical birth inside my dreams
Thinking of the past and the hurt and silent screams
Now I need a chance to flirt with life and what it means
And write off what I bleed and vent off a little steam
And get a message sent, what I meant, when liars read
There’s a little bit of anger deep inside my head
But I’ll amp it up a bit when I turn the knob to ten
Cause I know I got my friends, but I got a lot questions
How can whores complain when they never found rejection
But I guess they need acceptance to fill some void inside
When a man requests the job, they simply must employ the guy
Then they just enjoy the ride, but eventually he’ll get off
Both meanings of the term, but one left her feeling so lost
But stop your god damn bitching, this is everything you chose
And you have to take the thorns when you want to take the rose
Though, I guess we have our roads and it’s harder to pull over
Than to wander the same path and let ourselves grow colder
Dealing with those people who leave and come again
Arriving every time they decide they need a friend
Or when they need a favor, just a little task at hand
But then they disappear when they’re asked to understand
Claiming they’re too busy with the life and world around then
So you search for words to say but you really never found them
Though you clench your fists and pound them, solely acting out of spite
Refusing to help out because you hope it makes things right
But, though it may seem right, you’re only playing the same role
Another part time friend who’s never there when you’re alone
And never there to share the load, like true brothers always do
That’s why I got my boy and don’t care what others do
Eighteen fucking years and still everything goes strong
Growing into men but still we’re playing the same song
With lyrics full of kindness and sacrifice and patience
Mother fucking morons, but yet we never do it tasteless
And everything goes right everytime we reach the end
There to share the pains and the bandages to mend
Notes: It flows decently well. Since I can’t really find one topic to write on, I sort of blended four (though the first is mentioned in only the second line) separate thoughts into one piece. This is a general idea of all the randomness I face every day inside my mind and the grab bag of emotions I can go through. I just hope you guys like it. I’m trying to write more often without forcing it, you know?
Some Unreleased Limp Bizkit Tracks
May 10th
Fred Durst has just posted three unreleased tracks on Limp Bizkit’s MySpace page. One of them, “Crack Addict”, was much anticipated (and performed at a WWE event), but never made the cut for Results May Vary. It’s just a kick ass, hard hitting Limp track. “Relentless” has more of the softer Results May Vary sound to it and is pretty cool, but a little lacking when it comes to what people expect from Limp. “When It Rains” is another mellow track, like the new ones on their Greatest Hits album. It’s decent, at best. “Crack Addict” is the real star here.
Give the tracks a listen by visiting Limp Bizkit’s Myspace profile.
