A Process of Writing
A Process of Writing (3/26/2006)
I sit and try to rhyme but there is nothing in my mind
There is nothing there for saying almost every single time
So I say that things are fine and I ramble on the verse
That never paints a picture and it only masks the hurt
But if I only had the nerve to express myself again
I would cherish every moment and get myself a pen
The ink that helps defend, that can also help me mend
The flow I chose to carry even when against the trend…
And there it goes again, I just lost my train of thought
But I refuse to give this up and I will never say it’s lost
The spirit lies in frost and I just need to warm it up
Though there seems to be no fire that stays lit long enough
But I want to give a fuck and I want to beat this shit
I want to perservere and rekindle what I did
Cause in this foggy mist, I feel so damn lethargic
And the crawling pace of thoughts make me feel like I’m retarded
And I can not get it started so I begin it all the same
“And” and “But” and “Yet” and “Though” are driving me insane
So I wonder what has changed, did I really need the pain?
Is misery the energy I need to make my claim?…
Damn, another time, I just lost the coming line
I just dropped another rythm and I’m fucking up the rhyme
And I’m heating up inside and I’m ’bout to flip my lid
And throw a temper tantrum just like a little kid
Cause I’m growing so damn sick of all this fucking shit
Give me some damn focus, man, give me wrists to slit
Give me one more hit of the rhyming skillful Chris
Show me how to grow it everytime that I get pissed
Then give me all your shit and tick me off again
Punch me in the face just like the best of friends
Cause I don’t want this to end, I refuse to up and quit
Like a square peg in a circle, I will bang it ’til it fits
And then I’ll hang it on my wrists, the bracelet always fits
Crimson for the anger, but still funny for the kids
In this end, I’m pissed, and I really don’t know why
The same feelings that exist everytime I fucking write
Notes: It’s no secret that I’ve been having a rough time writing in the past few months. This poem is a depiction of the struggle I go through with every piece. It actually started off as something else, but I got stuck, so I just went with every thought that popped into my head. This is the randomness and lack of focus I experience every time I write, lately.
Filed under: Poems