Backstage
Backstage (3/21/2006)
I feel so uncomfortable in the suit that I’m wearing
The chain and the muzzle and the skin that I’m tearing
Expectations unfairly placed right on my shoulders
And I can not take this, I keep getting colder
I keep getting closer to losing my mind, kid
The lights are all dimming, they’re losing their vibrance
It’s here in this silence that I’m slowly drowning
Smothered and beaten by the nothing around me
I hate my surroundings, I hate what I breathe in
I love what I’ve lost and I hate what has seeped in
Depression, the feelings, the thoughts of a fuck up
The son who has failed but refuses to suck up
He’s stupid, he stuck up, he’s used all his luck up
He looked for a fight when he knew he should shut up
I’m clueless, I’m cut up, and I’ll never succeed
Your goals never met by the person you see
But, the curtains you see, tend to bring you relief
The mask that I wear to present what you need
Backstage, on my knees, I scream in a whisper
Yet I hold it together to conceal every splinter
And muffle the whimpers of someone who suffers
The anger’s a shell that I use as a buffer
It makes me seem tougher, it brings me attention
It masks what’s inside and conceals my depression
Notes: It’s meant to be read slowly. It’s a honest depiction of how I’ve been feeling lately. I know it’s a bit shorter than usual, but all this has also been killing my desire to write.
Filed under: Poems