The Schizo Dancer
The Schizo Dancer (2/26/2006)
I can’t help but ride the wave of these psychopathic voices
Steering me away from everybody’s fucking choices
The loneliness rejoices the more that I get cloistered
I tango with the sounds, in my head, all the noises
Cause I can’t seem to avoid this, I can’t fucking escape it
Go ahead and try to rape it, but I hold it fucking sacred
I’m hard to keep the pace with, cause I’m always going backwards
Nobody stops to think and ask me if this crap hurts
Cause I’m walking on my last nerve, my brain, it fights and twitches
The pain holds life in stitches and it tears me til it itches
Flipping through the switches, always keeping me on edge
That’s why I said goodbye and didn’t come to you instead
I lie alone in bed and rewind the words you said
I watch you slowly moving, then you’re pressed against my chest
The signals of distress and the cold glare of my hatred
Just get the fuck away are the words I fucking bade her
It’s not as though I hate her, I wanted it to happen
But every thought of action, the voices held me passive
I danced around attraction to avoid my own prediction
The schizophrenic consequence of mental contradiction
And the gentle proposition of honesty and caring
Struck a chord of fear and admonished me unfairly
The collar that I’m wearing had tightened in confusion
Til oxygen dispersed and a mind fell in delusion
My eyes swell in collusion and everyone disperses
Another chased away without a rhyme or purpose
A million and one churches that pray inside my head
To guide to me to destruction, alive but fucking dead
Notes: I could write what this is about, but I think I’ll leave it up to interpretation. Yes, it’s angsty, but it’s probably the best depiction of what I’m feeling. Seriously.
Filed under: Poems