Xpression.v2

Inkless Explanation (2/23/2006)

It’s so funny how this bullshit always seems to go full circle
In one scene I’m being hurt then the next I leave her hurtful
In a sick sense of reversal, I’m still feeling this confusion
It’s like nothing that I do will ever equal retribution
And even restitution, the payback as you call it
Is simply not the case, not the reason that I hault it
I quickly fucking lost it when I felt the spotlight shining
Like suddenly the heat fucking screwed up all my timing
And I knew that you would find me and see my inner person
The guy behind the anger, the rhyming and the cursing
The inner mind I’m versing is best fought on my lonely
I’ve grown to really hate the thought that you would know me
Cause I thought that you’d expose me and pull away the curtains
The shields that I built up to make everything seem certain
The tender wounds I’m nursing to regain my sense of purpose
The strength that I still search for to manage through this circus

But I won’t take all the blame cause I know that it’s for sharing
We both made our own mistakes and we watched the picture tearing
The way you seemed uncaring and ignored me, I’d be speaking
Singing or just laughing and ignoring the real meaning
And it left me feeling heated and just slightly aggravated
I thought that I was wrong and I thought I had to take it
I thought I couldn’t make it through that awkward aggitation
Perhaps it was just me and my normal aggravation
But my scorn’s imagination was simply not the reason
It was honesty before me, no sign of mental treason
The heat had left me freezing and I hated being frozen
So I spun the fucking wheel and stuck to what I’d chosen
And here I am, now open, explaining all my actions
These aren’t my excuses, but the truth about what happened
I tried to remain passive and change me for the better
But a pen without it’s ink could never write a letter

Filed under: Poems