Lost Inside
Lost Inside (2/22/2006)
I sit and try to focus and gather my reflections
I try to find a topic that can hold my own attention
But thoughts race in directions that appear to be conflicting
Until they meet confusion, the traffic they’re inflicting
So I still continue sifting through every god damn subject
Until I get frustrated and ask if it’s enough yet
I just can’t find the nugget, the wealth of inspiration
I’m stuck with tons of nothing and this fucking hesitation
And my fucking lack of patience really isn’t helping
Cause everything I gained seems to be fading and melting
The thoughts that made me wealthy now leaving me in poverty
And, though I hate to say it, I hate it and it bothers me
I loathe it cause it harbors me and leave me here so speechless
I want to fucking write, I can’t stand this cause I need this
Drowning in the pieces of a mind that was so ceaseless
I refuse to just concede it, I’ll fight through ’til I bleed this
I’ll scribble it, you’ll read this, you’ll measure it with meters
Comparing it to others, my works and other pieces
Darting through the screaches that I write in desperation
I do this cause I fiend this though I lack the preparation
But in back of devastation, the addict that you’re seeing
Is a guy without composure and nothing really seething
Clawing for his passion and asking all these questions
Looking for the reasons that he lost site of perfection
And lost all his protection and the layer of his comfort
Asking why he’s feeling just a little bit of some hurt
Struggling for some words to make everything all better
Left with such a sun burn as he stumbles through bad weather
Searching for that letter, perfect rhyme to ease the hunger
Why is he lost inside? That’s the only thing he wonders
What happened to the thunder, the fire that kept burning?
Why is it all regressing? Why must he go on hurting?
Notes: It’s me going on about the chaos and confusion that I’m currently experiencing in my own mind. It’s really affected every part of my life, even my writing. This one gets pretty intense in the middle.
Filed under: Poems