Xpression.v2

So, I want to write, yet I don’t have a flow. I guess that means you people are going to be stuck reading a journal entry.

Let’s get all the usual stuff out of the way, first. Yesterday, I became extremely ill. In a 4 hour time period, starting at 1:30am, I vomitted 10 times. It was like a slot machine that just keeps giving you quarters. One quarter went in and about 6 million came out, each time. That is, until my body ran out of quarters, then I simply had the lovely pleasure of dry heaving. I was bed ridden almost all day until about 8pm, or so, when I finally decided to deal with the swirling world and get up. All this, mind you, was accompanied by extreme back pain and the return of my good old friend, the back spasm. The back pain is still lingering about today.

In between losing my stomach and twitching/screaming in pain, I had some time to think (TV made me dizzy, so I was forced to think). This site is kind of funny, in a way. When I first started, I was pretty blunt with what I said and who I said it about. No one read it and no one seemed to care. Times change, though, and the site gets a decent amount of people stopping by now. The problem is, those very people are the ones I wish to talk about sometimes. Who pissed me off? Who did something incredibly stupid? All things I need to vent at one point or another, but I can’t. People get upset and complain and complain and then complain some more. So what does that leave me? I have to use my poems and lyrics to disguise who I’m talking about while still getting it out. Hell, most people don’t realize a poem is about them until I explicitly tell them it is. The thing is, it’s not as satisfying. That, or I’m just not creative enough. How do I write about someones minute abnormaility? Sure, it’s easy to pick out a huge flaw and go on and on about it, but the small ones never give enough body. Say, for instance, you’re trying to speak and someone just randomly bursts into song? How do you write about that for more than a few lines? You can’t or, at least, I can’t. I want people to stop by and hear what I have to say, yet I don’t want them to all the time. That’s a bit retarded on my part. Go figure.

Oops, I did it again. It doesn’t rhyme this time, though.

Filed under: Journal