In Spite of It
In Spite of It (1/17/2006)
There’s so much pressure on my shoulders to come up with the best shit
Making up a better rhyme while solving all of your questions
To have a message that is both moving and honest
The minute that I slack off, I’m abused and admonished
But, there’s a promise that I made when I was leaving my college
That I would focus on this skill until my talent was hottest
What I lack in all the knowledge, I make up for with passion
Though I’m trying to stay modest in spite of quoteable captions
Cause I know all my actions can speak louder than writing
But I find so much relief inside the rhymes that I’m fighting
Whether I’m angry or crying, it’s the one thing that I do right
Even if you don’t agree or choose to read, I will still write
Cause every time I don’t feel right, I can still drug up with scribbles
And escape from the moment or try to solve it a little
Right now, I’m stuck in the middle, of the past that I hide from
The memories of this girl I used to scream out of my lungs
Now I try to disguise them and try to be so objective
I made a promise to her and I’ve always wished I had kept it
I said I’d always be present and I’m a man of my word
Though, it’s a challenge to balance the recollections of hurt
The twinge that pounds every nerve until it’s message is heard
Until I’m fighting confusion and every thought’s become slurred
It’s so fucking absurd that I can’t seem to take this
Still, I swallow the thoughts as I stand up and face it
And I don’t want to escape it, fuck, I’m making this statement
I’ll help her cause I care and feel I owe her this payement
In spite of all of these changes, the words still have the same meaning
“I’ll always be there” still defines never leaving
Notes: I touch upon two very different promises, but both wreaking havoc on my mind right now. First, my promise to never give up on my writing and to always make sure I’m constantly getting better at it. I feel I’ve stagnated at that a bit and I need to pick up the pace. Secondly, is a more meaningful promise that I made to someone a long time ago and, well, I guess it’s time to keep it even though it can be hard at times. Read it at a slower pace.
Filed under: Poems