Xpression.v2

Guided Self Doubts (1/11/2005)

Let me tell you this short story and the boy that it’s about
Growing up inside the shadows of his self inflicted doubt
Working through the clouds that seem to float inside his mind
As he grew into a man and tried to walk along the line
The perfect chosen road as laid out by those around him
They’d never really know what they knew would slowly drown him
Cause the voices always found him even when he wouldn’t hear it
He tried to grab the wheel in a chance to try to steer it
But they jeered, could not revere it, didn’t know what he was thinking
And, for a moment, all his hope was left alone and slowly sinking
He was scared to even blink and too scared to make a move
Even now the fear can grip him, but there’s way too much to lose
So he tries to change his shoes through projection of his hatred
But he doesn’t have a clue that some people can not take it
He doesn’t want to lose them, but he doesn’t want to risk it
Now he’s stuck right in the middle holding just one single ticket
Unsure if he’s the winner and too scared to take a glance
Momentary courage is so lost inside the chance
Cause even where he stands he can feel the pressure raining
The weight of his own fear only growing, never waning
Stuttering, explaining, trying to get out his whole purpose
The words that never come because he feels so god damn nervous
This poem is a service and his only explaination
To explain away the reason that he blocks out your temptation
And his mind’s got the frustration from the years of being fearful
The idea alone can break him while some others feel so cheerful
And while they give their earful, he just holds on to the fact
That he never wants to lose you or derail right off this track

Notes: This actually started off with me intending to write something very different. It kind of took a tangent and went into why I can’t seem to get myself to speed things up between Maria and I. It’s frustrating, even if it’s not all of my fault, at least part of it still is.

Filed under: Poems