Archive for December, 2005
Toad Flu Blues
0Toad Flu Blues (12/20/05)
As the flu that I had clears through, guess who’s back
The lyrical stylings of this kid with a knack
But nothing has stacked up and I’m feeling damn empty
I need to get mad, come on, won’t you tempt me?
Cause I know you detest me in the way you address me
Money and power and still you can’t best me
The flame almost left me, but not close enough
You still haven’t won son, you should try giving up
Looking down in disgust showing me where the door is at
You better suck in your gut and try bringing much more than that
Cause I’m not your whore to slap, enough with the talking
I am more than okay on this road that I’m walking
And I’ll fight to the end for the things I believe in
Joe’s my best friend, you can ask and believe him
Cause the first time you see him, I’ll be right there and waiting
To finish the things you don’t think we’re debating
Fine, enough with the hate kids, let’s change up the subject
Here’s a Tickle Me Elmo, when you grow up, you’ll fuck it
And boy will you love it, the guy’s even shaking
The thought of your love gets his knees weak and quaking
But I heard he’s been faking and sleeping around, kids
That Elmo’s a whore and I won’t hang around this
I need a new mountain up which that I can climb
Something tall, big and yellow and so damn divine
Oh, what’s on my mind? It’s my own damn Big Bird lust
The guy’s mighty fine and he’s got perty bird nuts
Oh, Mr. Big Bird I swear I won’t hurt you
Just wear some protection before I get Bird Flu
Notes: That last part caught you off guard, huh? Lol. I started off addressing someone and then got bored of them and decided to finish off by having some fun. Not bad after not having written in a while.
Random Rants
0I haven’t posted anything lately and I want to bitch….looks like I’m killing two pigs at one Mexican baseball game with this one…
Fast Food Gift Cards:
Have you people seen these commercials? McDonalds and Dunkin Donuts, among others, suggesting we should give their gift cards to people as a Christmas gift! (It’s Christmas! Fuck you and your “holidays”). Has their been some nuclear explosion that I wasn’t made aware of? Have the people at McDonalds lost all sense of what this thign called reality is? Who the hell gives a Mickey D’s gift card as a serious gift?! “Merry Christmas! Here’s a McDonald’s gift card! You can get a free happy meal and shove the toy up your ass!”
Miss Jones and the Morning Idiots:
At work, all too often, the morning crew has on the hip hop radio station that features Miss Jones (you know, the moron who made fun of the tsunami victims) and her merry group of ghetto retards. Why do they always feel the need to talk politics? It’s like me talking about how horrible it feels to be racially profiled when I enter the white suburbs. Today, deep voiced moron number one decided to mention how Bush admitted the information for going to war was really wrong and a mistake was made. He forgot to mention how we removed Sadaam from power and saved the lives of thousands of people who would have, otherwise, been brutally killed in the dictator’s reign of power. No, instead his biggest idea focused around the fact that he believes the families of killed soldiers should now sue for wrongful deaths. Because, they had no idea they may be in danger when they first signed up for the Army, I guess. If any of these families fucking sue, they should be given 37 cents and deported. Leave it to these thug retards to make such assinine comments. Everytime I start to doubt the common sense I have, hearing part of their show instantly reassures me I could be much worse off.
Radio is Meant to be Free?:
This new radio commercial kills me. The top 13,000 radio stations(that’s like every fucking radio station except the one in Alaska whose letter got lost in the mail) are paying for commercials that suggest that radio is meant to be free, obviously knocking the fact that you have to pay for satellite radio. What!? Radio is free? You mean 15 minutes of straight commercials is considered free? Music I don’t want to hear and have continually forced down my throat is something I should be thankful for? Radio is meant to be free, huh? Well, it’s also not supposed to make me cringe and contemplate empaling myself on the nearest broadcast antenna. Blame the FCC and yourselves. It’s funny to watch so many people jumping to satellite now as Stern is finally saying goodbye. Give us what we want (NYC, the largest radio market in the country, has no oldies station and will soon have no rock station either) or go buy a McDonald’s Gift Card and get the happy meal.
When Life Gives You Lemons…
3This is the Dilbert comic strip from December 9th. It’s one of the funniest things I’ve read in a while. Thought you all may enjoy it, also.
My Drug
0My Drug (12/11/2005)
It’s been twenty days or perhaps a few more
I lost count the moment that my head hit the floor
I feel so absorbed by the call of the affliction
How can one ignore and not fall to this addiction?
There’s more than the nutrition, it helps settle my nerves
And battle off the hunger while quenching my thirst
I knew after the first that I would keep coming back
Cause the surge of the burst was everything I lacked
Yeah, this shit has a knack of making me feel better
Takes the weight off my back and makes me forget her
And whenever I get fed up, I take another dose
To swirl in the colors of everything that’s close
Inhaling all the hope til the sweat hits my forehead
“No, don’t let it stop, I’m still ready for more yet”
I’m a junkie, an addict, and I can’t break these reigns
But it’s not like I want to, it erases my pain
Though, it makes me insane when it enters my mind
And I’m lower than low, still waiting for mine
It eats me inside, I’ll give you all that I got
For the tingle and feeling of that syllable shot
Cause then at the shock of all those around me
I’ll inject every drop and scream so resounding
Flowing and swirling and finding the rhythm
Using the rage to escape what’s within him
At the place for the victim and every damn addict
And all of the people who hate and have had it
Inside of the madness of wanting and craving
Lies a poet with words that are patiently waiting
The verbs that we’re craving, the flow we desire
The last little drop to invoke all the fire
Til the buzz has expired, this will be my own drug
The high of the words that I’ve come to love
Notes: Speaks for itself.
Wall of Nothings
0Wall of Nothings (12/8/2005)
It’s like every time that I see her I get myself tongue tied
Like a Dad with no words the first time that his son lied
And suddenly the fun times just no longer matter
The strength in my knees retreats and I’m shattered
My heart races and patters as the words stumble and stammer
Millions of nothings are concealed in the chatter
I try bad to have her, but I can’t even speak it
The words I can’t say are my own worst kept secret
Cause they all can see it and notice the attraction
And I’m sure they can see that I’m stuck with no traction
Running in place in some race to get no where
I have nothing to say and it seems that I don’t care
But, yet I still go there for a glimpse of her smile
The warmth of her hug like the last step of a mile
Relaxing, exhaling with the worst all behind me
Until I go crazy the next time that out eyes meet
There, somewhere inside me, the composure is lost
My mind gains control, throw’s my heart into frost
Kicking myself for the gap I’m creating
To put down the walls is the call I’m debating
Cause I’d rather be hating and drowning in shadows
Than nuts for a girl who drains the pool shallow
Lifting me up to something I’ve forgotten
The hope and the care and all of that nonsense
Please give me my problems and let me forget this
No, give me the warmth of a hopeful new sentence
I need to be strengthed no matter which way I fall
Cause the way I am now, I am nothing at all
Notes: My flow has been a little off, so this may be a little rough. I’m just trying to decide how I should proceed or if I should at all.
Review of AIM Triton
6Over the years, AOL’s Instant Messenger has become their flagship product, a representation of the entire company in the eyes of many. However, the last major update was over 2 years ago and the only real changes made to the application revolved around which bundled software came with it. With such an outdated code base in their hands, AOL decided to start from scratch and deliver the next version of AOL Instant Messenger, dubbed AIM Triton. Should you bother to upgrade? Read on and find out.
The first thing you are going to notice about Triton, right out of the box, is the entirely new interface design. White, blue, orange and green elements are combined to make a very eye catching interface that looks elegant and intuitive. Fade and slide animations are done surprisingly well, never getting old and bothersome. However, there is one snafu. The pop up notification (shows you when someone signs on, off, etc) stands out worse than 50 cent at a Michael Bolton concert. The gray and blue design looks like a poor attempt to mimic the default Windows XP Luna look, though it fails miserably and really makes the pop ups look as though they belong to another program.
I was taught true beauty is more than skin deep, though, so I refused to let the superficialities win me over so quickly. Diving deeper in the program, you can see it’s the same AIM we have always loved, but it’s not. Before you lock me up, let me explain. All the loved features are there (with the exception of a few glaring exceptions I’ll get to later), but are implemented in a much more sensible way allowing easier access and fewer open windows. The IM conversations are now tabbed allowing you to have multiple IM’s open in one single window. On top of that, e-mail, video chat, audio chat, file sharing, and text messaging are all now available as tabs at the top of the IM window itself. Everything is very accessible, but also very out of the way until you choose to use it.
“Choose” is a key work with Triton. The IM window, especially, is extremely customizable. As illustrated in the screen shots below, you can choose to have all the features right there at your finger tips (1a) or you can choose to tuck them away in order to maximize window real estate (2b). On top of that, AOL has included a plugin system which, once the SDK is published, will allow people to write small add ons for Triton to increase it’s functionality even further. The only existing plugin, JAMS, which is written by an AOL employee, adds features such as IM logging and the ability to show what song you are playing in iTunes or Winamp in your profile.
The Buddy List window, while presenting less options for customization (read as “none”), is definitely an improvement over it’s predecessor. While basic functionality remains the same, AOL took a step at streamlining the away message system by removing the away message dialog box. As shown in the screen captures below (2a), your away message and related information are displayed at the top of buddy list window. Just like the tabbing in the IM conversations, this means fewer open windows on your desktop and taskbar.
AOL did not stop there, though. They also chose to add more functionality, and marketing, to the buddy list window. The bottom three buttons now allow you to open a small panel granting you access to AOL Mail (feature not completed), AOL Total Talk (nothing but a banner ad for their PC to Phone service), and AOL Radio (2b). The most interesting feature is definitely the radio. There is a very large assortment of stations to listen to. Everyone should be able to find at least one station they can really enjoy. However, if you aren’t an AOL subscriber, you are only given the option to listen to very low quality streams. Like I said, AOL added in marketing options along with the features.
With all the good, however, there also comes the bad. First, and most importantly, is the fact that anyone who cares about their computer and likes to choose what gets installed and what doesn’t, will be forced to use AIM Ad Hack. By default, along with Triton, the setup also installs AOL Explorer (an AOL web browser) and Plaxo (software to help you share address books between programs) and tries to install the AOL toolbar and change your homepage to AOL.com. The previously mentioned AIM AD Hack allows you to prevent all the extras from ever being installed and saves you the time of swearing loudly while trying to remove it all manually later on.
On top of that, in the official release out now, there are some beloved features missing. The most notable ones are Direct Connect, tooltips in the IM window to see how long your buddy has been online, idle, etc, and the ability to set your personal buddy icon (I still don’t know how I have a custom one set already). AOL employees, through their blogs, continue to promise that these features will appear again, but only time will tell.
So, is this upgrade for you? Well, as long as you have Windows 2000 or higher installed (Windows 98 and ME users are left with 5.9), this author would advise you to give it a try. AIM Triton is fresh, fun, and intuitive. The people who designed the interface, while not accomplishing perfection, did an outstanding job and truly do re-invent AIM as we know it. Once the SDK is released and the more clever people figure out which files to edit in order to change the interface design to their liking, the options presented to Triton users will easily surpass those presented by any other first party client. However, show love and compassion for your computer and use AIM AD Hack when installing. It’s not only safe to use, but it also makes sure you’re not left with a real mess to clean up.
Thank you to ImageShack.us for hosting the article’s images.
Deaf Exasperation
0Deaf Exasperation (12/5/2005)
I’m staring out a window screaming
Can anybody out there hear me?
I’m freeing my demons
Please just listen…
And I’m on your rooftop crying
To the world from which I’m hiding
Do you see me? Can you hear this?
No one listens, be alone now
I thought I was done with crying
Was everybody out here lying?
I hate this, embrace this
You never listened…
And I’m here in this basement crying
Desparation’s in my writing
I’m rocking and praying
No one listens, I’m alone now
I could never gain attention
And I’ve learned to hate perfection
You hold it, I loathe it
I can not listen
Fuck everyone and your perception
I don’t care what’s my intention
Believe this, I need this
Can you listen? No you can’t now
No you can’t now
No you can’t now
No you can’t…
Label me as the broken fallen
Stay with me my dear exhaustion
I need this, I bleed it
Are you listening to the sound now?
I hate this…
I breathe this…
I need you now!!!!!!!
Fuck everyone and your perception
I don’t care what’s my intention
You hold it, I loathe it
I will not listen, just like you now
Just like you now
Just like you now
Just like you…
I’m staring out a window screaming
Can anybody out there hear me?
I’m freeing my demons
Please just listen, I’m begging you now
Notes: I wanetd to experiment with something a little different. I won’t lie, the new Korn album definitely influenced me in that search for something different. Songs like “Throw Me Away” and “Tearjerker” just really got me thinking of what it would be like to do a really dark ballad. This is the end result. Anything in italics is actually sung loudly and harshly (not screamed, though) while the rest is sung in a more subdued, Aaron Lewis acoustic ballad sort of tone. On the emotional side of it, this is one of the few pieces I cried during. It’s honest. Maybe it’s not direct and at one point that everyone wants to see, but it’s very honest.
Wizards of Winter
1You guys have to check this one out. These guys synchronized their Christmas lights to the trans Siberian Orchestra’s “Wizards of Winter”. It’s so amazingly cool.
What Time Is It?!
1“What time is it?!”
“Game time, woo!”
And that’s how it started. Because the league changed our team name to the Timberwolves, I couldn’t do my usual pre-game cheer with the basketball team I coach, so I fell back to the old Bull’s classic from the 90′s. New name, new cheer, and a new and improved basketball team.
My time, before the game, was spent really doubting myself and worrying about the season ahead. After the last game, I really thought that I may be coaching too high up in the league and that my style wouldn’t adapt to teenagers. To add to that, Joe’s not there on game day anymore. He was always the strategist while I tried my best to lead. That was gone. I’m everything now and I screwed it up last week, big time. Would it happen again? Is this something I can’t do? Those doubts only got worse when I received word that David wouldn’t be playing because of his bad ankle. Our height, our boards, our speed, and our shooter were suddenly gone. How am I going to work out of this one? Thankfully, I didn’t have to. Apparently, his ankle improved ten fold since yesterday and he was able to play. Ok, maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
Game time comes and we’re off. The tip off had to be redone after “complications” on the first attempt. Second try, out of bounds on blue, white ball. White?! That’s us! A few minutes in, however, up 8 – 7, David comes up limp and I have to pull him out. I run out to find an icepack only to discover our always prepared league has none. A garbage bag and some ice cubes would do the trick. I grab everything, tie off the bag, run upstairs and I’m greeted by David at the door. “Coach I’m fine. Can I go back in?” What did I do to be so lucky? At this point, there were up 12 – 8, but putting David back in there and regrouping the team caught us right back up.
The game goes by and it’s a back and forth battle, but you can tell we had control of the game. Any coach or player will know what I mean. It was our pace and our mistake to make. I almost made that mistake for us. It was a loose ball and Chris (not me) dove for it, but couldn’t find an open pass to make. I should have called time out, but I missed the chance. Five second violation, blue ball. For the next couple of minutes, every chance I got, I smacked my head and cursed myself out. That was a moment where I knew Joe would have made the call. I was pissed, but too determined. These guys were playing their hearts out and I couldn’t let them down.
As the game drew to a close, we were up by 3 with 40 seconds left and it was time to kill the clock. We did it almost perfectly. At one point, we threw the ball out of bounds and they had a chance to tie it with 7 seconds left, but the guys got back on defense so quickly that the other team didn’t stand a chance. We won, 48 – 45.
This is addictive. Maybe I’m not so bad of a coach, afterall. When I look at the teams, there’s only one team that really worries me and it’s the team we lost to last week, the black Knights. It always seems to be the black Knights, no matter what age division I’m coaching in. In the end, though, I put that worry aside. The team really pulled together in such a short amount of time. It was beautiful. We have a lot of work to do, but it’s okay. We’re a team now and any team can do anything when they try hard enough.
Regina Pacis Timberwolves: 1 – 1
NexPad 0.6 Released
0NexPad is a multi-document viewing solution originating from my needs for an application with the simplicity of Notepad, but also with some extra polish to increase my own efficiency when working with many documents at once (multiple text files, multiple html files, etc.).
This is simply a pet project of mine. I found that other people were interested in it, so I decided to release it to the public. It’s simple and meant to be that way. I don’t need or want any extra bells and whistles. I use this, personally, when writing poetry and needed something a little more full than Notepad, but not as bloated as some of the more feature rich text editors out there.
Requirements:
.Net Framework 2.0
Changes in 0.6:
– Change: “Go to Line” is now a toolbar like “Find” and “Replace”
– Change: Compiled for .Net 2.0 Final
– Change: Moved tabs and toolbars to top of window (more ergonomic, wanted by community members)
– Change: .xml file no longer used for settings. Values stored internally (my.settings)
– Change: manifest file no longer required (application.enablevisualstyles)
– Fixed: Clicking go in “Go to line” with empty pad would give unpredictable results
– Fixed: Statusbar not properly themed by Windows
– Cleanup: Removed useless handles in toolbar close events
– Cleanup: Minor UI spacing issues corrected (in toolbar areas namely)




