Xpression.v2

Artificial Distance (11/8/2005)

A few years ago when I started to write this persona
I put up the walls and signed on the lines, I’m the owner
But now that I’ve grown up and I can see the whole error
The way I’m set to be alone is from now ’til forever
And I cry to sever and break apart every brick of it
Cause I’m growing so tired, I’m growing so god damn sick of it
I know it’s significant to the whole way that I’m living
Cold to the world with nothing inside for the giving
It’s the reason I’m tripping and why I always keep falling
The fear that chokes me out and always keeps me here stalling
Is there more to this calling or am I stuck here with nothing?
Thinking of you but knowing that I need to be something
But there’s nothing, nothing there inside of the mirror
I know you need more but it keeps coming in clearer
So I refuse to get near her and I just break my heart open
There is no reason to try, though my heart keeps on hopin’
All while I keep on floating ’round with my sense of misery
I want somebody right there, a somebody who’s missing me
A person to finish me, one to make me feel just like you do
A person to smile and shake me up just like you do
But, not somebody like you, though, cause I’m just not good enough
Just in standing by you, I can see that I do not measure up
The things that they’ve said to us, let’s deny the existance
God, I hate these walls that serve to protect my best interest
But with every damn sentence I keep on building them upward
‘Til the joy’s insignificant and I scream out in cuss words
I depise that whole “us” word cause it’s everything that I’m not
The patheticness here is really all that I’ve got
Now I’ve hit into the the block and I can’t keep on writing
I’ll end it right here and go ahead and keep crying

Notes: You meet someone, you see how good they are, and then you force them away quickly. It’s a shitty habit.

Filed under: Poems